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Relationships

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Original poster

Offered a all expense paid trip abroad.... But there is a catch

173 replies

Ibizababe · 03/06/2014 22:30

Met someone through work 9 months ago while they were were the main contractor to carry out refurb at my place of work. Got on great, lots of chemistry, flirting extra!

There contracted finished beginging of this year and he went abroad (Spain) to work on his next contract and he is still there!

We have kept in regular touch through phone text and email and yesterday he has offered me a long weekend (all paid for) to fly out on visit him in 2 weeks time!

Course I would usually jump at the chance, and why not never know what might come of it!

Catch is I found out around the time he was leaving that I was pregnsnt, now I'm 24 weeks, I'm not with father we split just before I found out I was pregnsnt!

I did tell him last night about the baby and he didn't seem to concerned and it looks like offer is still on!

I can't go can I?

OP posts:

MeMyselfAnd1 · 04/06/2014 08:05

I'm afraid that I agree with Wildbill, a person you have hardly met would not go into such trouble unless he was expecting lots of sex or was very (very) interested in you

Unfortunately, he is unlikely to continue to be interested unless you have given him some very good reasons about why you hid your pregnancy from him. On the other hand, if he was only interested in sex ... Well.. I suspect that His interest on that may have diminished too after you delivered the news.

I frankly cannot understand why so many people are telling you to go. I am of de opinion that you will hear very little from him (if anything) from now on.

LEMmingaround · 04/06/2014 08:05

Stranger things have happened than a couple getting together when the woman is pregnant.

LEMmingaround · 04/06/2014 08:11

Memyselfandi wwat the fuck??? It is very early days with this guy. The pregnancy might be a deal breaker for him or even you op. That doesn't stop you from javing a nice weekend together. You can evev, whispers, have sex - its a little known fact but you can have sex when you are pregnant!! I would however be careful for your emotions and try not yo become too involved and just see what happens. A bit like any relationship really. No reason why you needed to tell him about the pregnancy before but right that you have told him now. Congratulations btw x

Trapper · 04/06/2014 08:11

At least there is no risk of you accidentally getting upduffed

poocatcherchampion · 04/06/2014 08:16

travel insurance won't be an issue. plenty of people go away while pregnant, particularly in the second trimester. you don't mention any complications.

bragmatic · 04/06/2014 08:18

Excellent point, Trapper.

Plus, it would be a shame to waste that second trimester, by not spending some of it in Spain having sex.

Original poster

Ibizababe · 04/06/2014 08:28

Thanks for the replies!

I have only begun telling people about the pregnacy in the last 2 weeks as now it's starting to become noticeable plus wanted until scan.

I have heard from him since and he still seems keen, the pregnancy doesn't seem to bother him, he is abit older than me 43 (9 years older) he just said I deserve a little break even more!

I'm going to let him know in few days if I'm going or not, just going to have a good think he is also going to call me tonight for a chat

OP posts:

Meeeep · 04/06/2014 08:31

He sounds really nice OP. It also sounds like he could be at the least a very good friend to have.

Sunflower49 · 04/06/2014 08:36

I'd say to go! He sounds nice. Report back!

I speak as somebody who has been taken away by men before without sex being a prerequisite-not all men expect sex just because they've dipped their hand in their pocket, so to speak.

youbethemummylion · 04/06/2014 08:39

Even if he does expect sex, it doesnt mean op has to oblige. Go, have fun, only go as far as you want and only invest in the relationship as much as you feel comfortable with. He sounds nice, hope it goes well for you.

DoctorTwo · 04/06/2014 08:49

Go and have a great time.

AnyFucker · 04/06/2014 09:30

Wtf is with you Guys that think this bloke would be entirely justified in expecting a weekend of sex in return for his investment

Think what you are saying !

Joysmum · 04/06/2014 15:08

Do people have so little faith in the OP's personality and in men in general for both if them not to appreciate each other and sex not be be everything in life. Sad work you must live in.

SolidGoldBrass · 04/06/2014 15:26

Go if you feel up to it - though if you have had any health issues with the pregnancy so far chat with your midwife first. Also, make sure that you have all the relevant health insurance and do a quick Google of the local maternity units and hospitals. You are probably healthy and probably will have a lovely time but it's as well to have contingency plans in case something happens while you are abroad.

As to whether or not you or this man are contemplating the start of a romantic/sexual relationship rather than a friendship, that's up to you and him. Even if he were to state, explicitly that his purpose in asking you to come and visit him is to have sex with you, you don't owe him sex and it's up to you whether you want to or not. Again - contingency plan of having enough money for a local B&B and the contact details of one just in case things don't work out with your friend.
A mate of mine went to stay with some other friends who had moved to Greece, and they all fell out quite badly and she had to go and find herself a hotel room, so it can happen.

As to sex when pregnant - again, up to you. I had quite a lot of sex with various different men, including a very thrilling threesome, when I was about 6 months PG but then that's the sort of thing I like doing.

AnyFucker · 04/06/2014 15:33

< waits for SGB's bomb to explode >

Taking in TWO cocks when you are pg ???? OMG !!!!!

Granville72 · 04/06/2014 15:35

I'd go if you feel up to it, once baby arrives you will get little chance away in the early stages.

If he's going to call for a chat maybe broach the subject of whether he's wanting to take it further or be as friends.

Quitelikely · 04/06/2014 15:36

Don't think I would do it. Just wouldn't feel right to me. It seems like a friends with benefits type of thing and I suppose if that's what yous both want then there's no harm done! Make sure he has no STDs

livingzuid · 04/06/2014 15:50

SBG

Just omg at some of these comments. What, she's expected to be a nun for the remainder of her pregnancy? Not date and enjoy the company of other men?

What a poor opinion some of these posts show to men. Shock horror, decent, normal men wouldn't give two hoots about another man's child. How many families combine step brothers and sisters these days?

Fgs it's not like she wants to march him down the aisle whilst there!

Go, have a fab time and enjoy before the third trimester kicks in!

AndyYorkeSingsBetterThanThom · 04/06/2014 15:53

for men and women can spend time together without having to have sex you know
Do we have a 'falls about laughing' smiley? An all expenses paid trip and he expects nothing in return?
I can't be the only one who finds the idea of shagging randoms while you're pregnant, distasteful? Maybe I am. Fine. I don't need you to agree with me in order to feel secure in my opinions. But I think it mings.

OP, you know him, I don't. Maybe he is Mr Wonderful who will take on a pregnant woman, treat her like a princess and wait around while she deals with early motherhood. But if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Cardinal · 04/06/2014 15:57

Take as many cocks as you want to OP, in Spain or otherwise!

Or none at all. Your body after all!

traviata · 04/06/2014 16:02

"take on a pregnant woman"

the OP is an independent adult, not a bundle of washing.

AnyFucker · 04/06/2014 16:02

"take on" ? OP is not some sort of damaged charity case that has to be looked after by a man. That sort of thinking died out a long time ago.

mrsmopps · 04/06/2014 16:05

I think it seems odd that after a bit of flirting in the workplace he's offering an all expenses paid trip abroad.
I wonder if he'd still have offered if he'd found out before that you were pregnant.
I must admit that I don't understand people who look for a new man while pregnant. or men who are ok with taking up with a woman who's pregnant to another man.
It's your life though. Do what you feel is right for you

livingzuid · 04/06/2014 16:08

An all expenses paid trip and he expects nothing in return well what's he going to do if there is no sex? Op is going for a nice weekend away to explore potential with the guy, not spend the time contorting herself into various secure positions. If she doesn't want sex and at this stage she doesn't, the only alternative is rape and I'm guessing that's not on the agenda. So yes, there is just a chance he's driven by the brain in his head and not between his legs.

And you are the only one that finds sex with others in pregnancy minging. It is her body to do with what she chooses. No one else's business to be so judgemental.

livingzuid · 04/06/2014 16:09

Sexual not secure

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