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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why do my parents behave like this??? So pissed off!!!

119 replies

Catflap1 · 18/05/2014 10:48

My parents don't like anyone! They dislike my sisters partners (to the extent that they don't even go to my sister houses and haven't for over 20 years) and they recently fell out with my other sister after my mum blew her top one day at my sisters husbsnd because they decided to relocate there young family to a different town, my mum didn't like this and told them exactly what she thought of her husband!

My parents have recently decided they don't like my boyfriend for reasons relating to my pregnancy and recent issues we have been having (his drinking/not supporting pregnancy etc at begining) now I know we are having issues and that's fine it's my oroblem/issues not theirs, my boyfriend had never ever done anything to effect my parents!

Few weeks back they told me they would not visit my house if he was here..... Fine I said but throwing your toys out your pram and acting childish is not going to end my relationship with him any sooner!

Today it was arranged that my dad would come over and help me with a day of DIY, I'm 5 months pregnant and have been painting/decorating like mad, he agreed to help me with bigger jobs like flooring, light fittings etc! Been out this week and brought everything, last night we were at a family party and they said they would be here at 8am this morning, I said that's fine but boyfriend is now not going to his golf weekend until 10am as the time has been changed! Dad then just said "well I'm not doing it then and ignored me for rest of the night!

I'm so upset and cross, I hate how everything is great and they will help you if you toe the line with whst they want but if you don't then your fucked!

So now I have a lounge full of lino flooring, skirting boards etc and I really can't afford a professional to come in, I live alone as a single parent on benefits!

I'm so so upset and don't know what to do, I have been working/saving really hard to get house sorted in time for the baby

OP posts:
rollonthesummer · 18/05/2014 10:50

Can you and your boyfriend do it together?

Mintyy · 18/05/2014 10:51

Your boyfriend does sound like a waste of space though. Why isn't he doing the DIY?

GrassIsSinging · 18/05/2014 10:55

The bigger issue seems to be that your boyfriend is off on a golfing day, leaving your dad to do the DIY for you.

MissScatterbrain · 18/05/2014 10:55

Think you are pissed off with the wrong people - its your boyfriend you should be pissed off with.

Why isn't is he helping with the DIY? Why is he playing golf instead of helping you decorate?

Kt1991 · 18/05/2014 10:56

Rather than your boyfriend going on a golfing weekend, surely he should be helping you?

Waltermittythesequel · 18/05/2014 10:56

Why is your boyfriend not helping you instead of getting pissed and going golfing?

It sounds like your parents have a point.

HappyMummyOfOne · 18/05/2014 10:57

Why can't your partner help? You're not exactly single given you are in a relationship and are pregnant Hmm

Either get him to help or get him to pay somebody if he can't do it. You also need to stop relying on everybody else as you are a grown up with your own children.

ginmakesitallok · 18/05/2014 10:57

Whether or not your bf has done anything to your parents is irrelevant. They dislike him because of how he treats you, and going by your op who can blame them? Why should your dad do the diy while bf swans off on a golf weekend???

anyoldname76 · 18/05/2014 10:58

Why isn't your boyfriend helping you??

doziedoozie · 18/05/2014 10:58

Once I had left home that was it and parents only came occasionally for visits (after I'd had DCs). So can't relate to having them come over to fix up my house, did it all myself, with a bit of help from DH.

DocDaneeka · 18/05/2014 10:59

What everyone else said I'm afraid.

Waltermittythesequel · 18/05/2014 11:00

I live alone as a single parent on benefits!

Is your bf the father of your baby?

doziedoozie · 18/05/2014 11:01

Oops just read the end of your thread and see that you can't afford anyone else to help with DIY.

But while you need them to help you out they can manipulate you, once you are more independent you can call the shots.

Fairenuff · 18/05/2014 11:02

recent issues we have been having (his drinking/not supporting pregnancy etc at begining) now I know we are having issues and that's fine it's my problem/issues not theirs

What are you doing about these problems?

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 18/05/2014 11:02

How can you be a single parent living alone on benefits when your boyfriend is staying with you?

Still, you know what the price is for relying on your parents for anything. Threats of not seeing you and cutting your sisters off is clearly controlling behaviour. You have to decide whether you're willing to pay the price or get on with your life and dealing with all the practicalities on your own. You clearly can't have both. I vote for relying only on yourself rather than being held to ransom on a whim.

Fairenuff · 18/05/2014 11:05

To be fair to your Dad, he did tell you that he wouldn't come to your house if your bf was there and you said you were fine with that.

He arranged to come at 8am because your bf would be out and now that your bf's plans have changed and is not going to be out of the house, your Dad has said he won't come. That is perfectly reasonable. He is doing you a favour after all.

Why doesn't your bf leave the house at 8am anyway so that your Dad can come and do the work for you?

Doinmummy · 18/05/2014 11:07

If your BF can afford golf weekends then surely he can afford to pay for a professional to help you do this?

SisterMoonshine · 18/05/2014 11:09

It would piss me off if I was going to come round early on a weekend to do your house and a perfectly capable adult who is sleeping there was having a lie in then going out to play golf.

CocoM · 18/05/2014 11:12

Single parent on benefits ....boyfriends sounds like a permanent fixture though. Careful there.

As for your parents, they can do whatever they like. They have brought up their children and if they don't like the partners of their children then they don't have to put up with them. So avoiding your partner sounds like their best option. Its their time to have their own life now and do what they want.

Your turn to do things for yourself and be a grown up with all its responsibilities.

ILoveCoreyHaim · 18/05/2014 11:12

How are u a single parent on benefits when your partner lives with you and your partner are you claim if single parent benefits

Does your partner work?

DowntonTrout · 18/05/2014 11:13

Did you tell your parents about the problems with your boyfriend?

You see my DD told me a load of stuff about her DH when they fell out. As a parent it is very hard to forget what you have been told and carry on as if you didn't know.

ILoveCoreyHaim · 18/05/2014 11:14

Damn phone

How are you a single parent on benefits when your pg and partner lives with you. Does he work?

expatinscotland · 18/05/2014 11:14

Your boyfriend is a cunt. I wouldn't want to be around him all day, either. You are still letting him sponge off you when he treats your kids like crap.

Gibbsismine · 18/05/2014 11:16

How can you be a single parent and claiming benefits? From your post it sounds like your bf is leaving your home later than expected? So therefore staying with you.
Why is he spending money on a golfing weekend if the house needs work?

Sorry I don't want to judge but your op is confusing? Could you maybe explain?

ILoveCoreyHaim · 18/05/2014 11:16

If your a single parent on benefits and your partner is staying at your house then are you not fiddling your benefit as your not a single parent.