Why do my parents behave like this??? So pissed off!!!

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My parents don't like anyone! They dislike my sisters partners (to the extent that they don't even go to my sister houses and haven't for over 20 years) and they recently fell out with my other sister after my mum blew her top one day at my sisters husbsnd because they decided to relocate there young family to a different town, my mum didn't like this and told them exactly what she thought of her husband!

My parents have recently decided they don't like my boyfriend for reasons relating to my pregnancy and recent issues we have been having (his drinking/not supporting pregnancy etc at begining) now I know we are having issues and that's fine it's my oroblem/issues not theirs, my boyfriend had never ever done anything to effect my parents!

Few weeks back they told me they would not visit my house if he was here..... Fine I said but throwing your toys out your pram and acting childish is not going to end my relationship with him any sooner!

Today it was arranged that my dad would come over and help me with a day of DIY, I'm 5 months pregnant and have been painting/decorating like mad, he agreed to help me with bigger jobs like flooring, light fittings etc! Been out this week and brought everything, last night we were at a family party and they said they would be here at 8am this morning, I said that's fine but boyfriend is now not going to his golf weekend until 10am as the time has been changed! Dad then just said "well I'm not doing it then and ignored me for rest of the night!

I'm so upset and cross, I hate how everything is great and they will help you if you toe the line with whst they want but if you don't then your fucked!

So now I have a lounge full of lino flooring, skirting boards etc and I really can't afford a professional to come in, I live alone as a single parent on benefits!

I'm so so upset and don't know what to do, I have been working/saving really hard to get house sorted in time for the baby

Sorry, if I were your mother I'd be pretty damn angry with your BF and worried about you and my grandchildren.

I don't call it childish to care about what my DD is doing and what effect it must have on my DGC.

I don't care about the benefits side, and if this was a prearranged weekend so be it.
But he could certainly afford to help out a lot more than he is.

You have more to worry about than the decorating.

I think people are missing the point here. Regardless of what an idiot your boyfriend is or isn't, that is irrelevant. Because your parents aren't reacting like this BECAUSE your boyfriend is an idiot. They're reacting like this simply because HE IS your boyfriend and they've decided that you shouldn't be with him. And they could easily decide this if he was nice as pie judging by the relationships with their other sons in law.

They do sound very controlling, and it must be very frustrating. But by allowing them the opportunity to help, you are keeping yourself within the sphere where they can hurt you with their controlling ways.

If they can't be there for YOU, regardless of who the boyfriend is, then they're not worth it.

Yes, put up with a twat who bullies your child, who treats your grandchildren like shit, lay flooring whilst he swans off to play golf.

If they can't be there for YOU, regardless of who the boyfriend is, then they're not worth it.

So they just have to stand by and shut up?

Not in my world they don't. Not when there's grandchildren to think of.

Not when there's grandchildren to think of.

And HOW has their behaviour today helped their grandchildren?

And we're talking about parents who have decided they hate 2 out of their 4 daughters' partners, and now they've started on the 3rd.

2 of my sisters who have had absolutely crap husbands. Both relationships ended in divorce. Had we not stayed around and supported them one of my sisters may not even be alive today.

Why would you decide to have DC with a man who you have no intention of living with in the foreseeable future?
You appear to be a single parent to all intents and purposes, your 'bf' doesn't support you financially, he doesn't help you with DIY, he doesn't even spend more than a couple of nights a week with you.
I just don't understand why you think he will make decent father material.

What's going to happen when the baby is born ?
Is he going to move in and support you then?

AFA your parents are concerned, don't ask them for any help or advice and drastically reduce contact with them if they are the type to cut off contact if you do not live the way they think you should.
You are a fully grown woman and the apron strings should have been cut a long time ago. Perhaps your parents cannot understand that you are an adult now.

Op, why didn't you pick a day when your BF is around to help you with the decorating, flooring etc?

With abusive partners it can be that the abused partner is so used to putting the whims and demands of the abuser first, they forget that the rest of the world really doesn't have to do that.

And because they've been so well trained, they actually judge the others on not bowing to the abusers every command.

Was the plan that your bf would help your dad? I'm bemused by this to be honest. Not saying your parents aren't pains in the arses but I also think your bf sounds like a prick. Why's he playing golf when your dad I'd doing DIY?

Oh and also... I think it's tempting to pick a hero and a villain in every story, but maybe the OP doesn't have a good template for her relationships?

Maybe she's struggling because she's surrounded by difficult or unsupportive people? there isn't a limit on the amount of abusive people someone can have in their life, unfortuneately. Particularly if the OP doesn't know how to spot bad relationships.

I haven't read the other thread, so just going on what I've read here. I feel a bit sorry for her having such a hard time on here.

Diytrainee it's not 2 out of 4 siblings pat enters my parents hate it's everyone of them!

My oldest sister has been with her partner 30 years (since they were 14) they now have their own grandchildren my parents decided they didn't like him 23 years ago just weeks after there 1st baby was born!

My next sister has been with her partner 25/26ish years since they were 16 and they decided again they didn't like him when she became pregnsnt

They have not been to either of these sisters houses since! My sister had kept up contact by taking there DC's to them!

My next sisters husband was "golden boy" in my parents eyes until 1 year ago when they decided to relocate with the young family to the country (hour 20 away) they then drove to my sisters walked in went mental at sisters DH and told him exactly what they thought of him and haven't spoken to them since (my sister emails them regular updates on the children)

They disliked my EXH before we were married he was not even allowed in there house! They were happy as pigs in shit when I divorced him and couldn't help enough with DIY etc! But since I have been single if I even go on a date they get stroppy!

Ihatethecold and mammadiggingdeep. - no bf golf weekend was arranged last year (his and his twins birthday get together) it was just agreed with dad that he would help today also because I was child free on a rare occasion from 9am -8pm so it just seemed like the perfect day to crack on!

And for those who asked no I don't want bf to do any DIY... He is bloody awful and would not even have a clue where to start! Hence why I do my own DIY which I actually enjoy and I'm good at, but it hard when you don't have all the right tools and are five months pregnant when it comes to moving appliance! And plus I know nothing about electrics and would not even try, hence why stepdad said he would help!

I'm just very frustrated as I have saved hard to buy everything I need to finish my house in time for baby and now it's all just piled up in my lounge !

Also just to mske clear, I know bf is a cock and we have huge issues these are not forgotten and are being delt with!

The pregnancy was not planned in anyway but I decided that I was keeping my baby, I don't personally think you abort a baby because it's dad it's a dick!

So I'm still going to stand by my decision that bf is not moving in just because we are having a child, I will be bringing baby up along with my 3 other children and I'm 200% happy in that decision

Why didn't you get your bf to move the furniture before he went out?

He has plenty of money, too, to hire a professional to do the jobs, after all, it's the home his child will be living in.

'Oh, I suck at DIY, but I earn a good salary and my child's mother is pregnant, I'll hire someone to do it.'

Nope, that thought didn't cross his mind.

Which is he now, your dad or your stepdad? He was dad all the way through till this last post, now he is stepdad.

So the bf arranged it in advance, why not bugger off early if he knows your dad/stepdad is coming rather than be a cock (never mind why didn't he pay to have a professional come in and do the work)?

Sorry is my stepdad but been around since I was at primary school so do refer to him as dad!

Yes my bf could offer to pay someone, he isn't all bad he has just paid out for my whole stairs and landing to be re carpeted once I finsh mine and the baby new rooms

Sorry stairs landing and bedrooms

How big of him.

Why is he still your boyfriend?

OP, just read this thread, do look after yourself and please don't do anything that could damage you or the baby while doing this DIY.