Why do my parents behave like this??? So pissed off!!!

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My parents don't like anyone! They dislike my sisters partners (to the extent that they don't even go to my sister houses and haven't for over 20 years) and they recently fell out with my other sister after my mum blew her top one day at my sisters husbsnd because they decided to relocate there young family to a different town, my mum didn't like this and told them exactly what she thought of her husband!

My parents have recently decided they don't like my boyfriend for reasons relating to my pregnancy and recent issues we have been having (his drinking/not supporting pregnancy etc at begining) now I know we are having issues and that's fine it's my oroblem/issues not theirs, my boyfriend had never ever done anything to effect my parents!

Few weeks back they told me they would not visit my house if he was here..... Fine I said but throwing your toys out your pram and acting childish is not going to end my relationship with him any sooner!

Today it was arranged that my dad would come over and help me with a day of DIY, I'm 5 months pregnant and have been painting/decorating like mad, he agreed to help me with bigger jobs like flooring, light fittings etc! Been out this week and brought everything, last night we were at a family party and they said they would be here at 8am this morning, I said that's fine but boyfriend is now not going to his golf weekend until 10am as the time has been changed! Dad then just said "well I'm not doing it then and ignored me for rest of the night!

I'm so upset and cross, I hate how everything is great and they will help you if you toe the line with whst they want but if you don't then your fucked!

So now I have a lounge full of lino flooring, skirting boards etc and I really can't afford a professional to come in, I live alone as a single parent on benefits!

I'm so so upset and don't know what to do, I have been working/saving really hard to get house sorted in time for the baby

I agree with everyone else and my dad does loads of work for us, he's retired and enjoys it, dh and I both do stuff for ourselves too though.

If you don't want your parents to think bad of your bf why are you telling them about it, my SIL does this, she slags her dh off to anyone who'll listen then can't understand why they don't like him.

It sounds to me like your parents have got good reasons not to like your boyfriend. He's not somebody I'd give the time of day to let alone have a 'relationship' or a baby with. Time to give him his marching orders perhaps?

Your boyfriend is a financially abusive arsehole who treats your children like second class citizens. I don't blame your parents.

Oh god, I remember your other threads. What expatinscotland said. He is a fucking prick.

Your boyfriend is also a skinflint trying to get his feet under your table on the cheap to avoid paying maintenance, at the expense of your other kids, has a spare 2k+ coming in a month but parks up at yours gratis for 4+ nights a week, tried to bully you into an abortion and your pissed off your dad doesn't care to hang round him laying floor?

I don't live with bf he stays 2 nights a week we live and work 40 miles apart! We are not moving I together I live alone with my children and support then alone! As for him being a cunt etc that's a whole another thread!

No time was arranged, parents agreed to help me today as I was home alone and children at there dads! My point was how if myself and my siblings don't do exactly as they want (I.e leave a resltionship, move to a house they approve of) then they behave like this! My boyfriend has never done anything to them! He is perfectly nice/polite etc when he has befn with them!

My boyfriend would help but I don't want him to purely for the fact he will cock it up! He is not a hands on DIY man in any respect, I do all my own DIY

Another one who's utterly confused by the single parent on benefits / bf thing.

Either he lives there and contributes so you're playing the system.

He live there and doesn't contribute despite being able to afford 'golf weekends'. In which case he's a cocklodger and you could still get in trouble for claiming as a single parent despite not actually benefiting from his input.

He doesn't live with and has his own place, in which case you could have ensured he was out of the way before your dad turned up.

Leaving that aside and even if your BF doesn't cohabit with you 100% of the time, you are pregnant with his baby. Why is he off spending money on golf and booze when he can see you're struggling to prepare for the arrival of his baby?

Your parents are manipulative yes and your dad saying he'll help then abandoning the job given you're clearly having a tough time and pregnant wasn't very nice, but it does sound like your bigger problem is currently off playing golf somewhere...

Ah cross-post.

Yes, your dad was being a bit of an arse then, but given you knew he wouldn't pitch up with BF there you should maybe have asked BF to stay a different night or clear out early.

Your boyfriend may have never done anything directly to them but you can't expect them to be okay with how he treats you and your children.

And? Your boyfriend ears 65k, why isn't he paying for a professional?

I don't blame your parents. Your ex is a cunt who doesn't pay maintenance and this guy is, too. If your sisters are anything like you, bet your folks are sick of all the fallout from all of your poor choices in partners.

No time was arranged, parents agreed to help me today as I was home alone

Yes, exactly. That was the arrangement. Then you changed it and you weren't home alone any more, so you Dad said he wouldn't come.

I am beginning to understand now that you won't hear a word against your bf and will only blame others for his failings. Your life won't get any better by doing this.

I have a lot of admiration for your parents and I am hope that when your children are grown you will have the same integrity and refuse to be taken for granted.

expat where does it say the bf earned 65k? I can't find it. Was it another of the OP's threads?

Am keen to read the backstory.

It doesn't matter if he's saying 2 nights a week, to claim single parent benefits he shouldn't be staying at all.

No wonder you parents are pissed off. You expect your DF to do all this work to help you and have said they will not do it if he is there. He should have left at 8 am (shouldn't have been there anyway if your collecting single parent benefits)

Why can't you boyfriend pay for someone to do the work and get the house ready for his DC?

Nochips OP has a long thread in step parenting about this guy.

Scratch that expat. Found it.

OP. Your DP is an arse. Dump.

Thanks basgetti. Found it. From the little I have read so far he need to be kicked to the kerb.

The OP has had numerous threads before, boyfriend rents a cheap room elsewhere (therefore not showing to the benefits agency) and is on a good salary. Despite being in a relationship and a step father to all the other children, he doesn't pay a penny just comes and stays whilst the OP claims to be single!

Your dad is wise to keep out of it. Perhaps he is not happy with your life choices or feels you should help yourself. If you want a nice home then you need to find work to fund it rather than play helpless and expect others and the state to do it all for you.

Pissed me off people claiming to be single parents when clearly they are not

Your parents are also doing you a favour. They love you and care for you and want the best for you and your sister. It must be hard for them to see you living on your own, single, pregnant and with other children but allowing a man to treat you like a doormat and him have everything and the best of both worlds. I would be so worried for you if you were my daughter. I really would. I would despise this man who can not and will not step up to the mark and actually make a proper commitment to you. As parents we hope our children will grow up and find partners that make them happy and are decent human beings. Your Dad wants to help you but he must have felt pretty pissed off when you told him that the bf will still be there when arrangements had been made for 8.00 am. You should have told the bf to stay at his the night before. You might have made your Dad feel like he was just been "used". He probably feels that your bf should and could do all this labour for you. He had planned to do this for you and you changed things by not putting your Dad and your plans first. Im not surprised he has washed his hands of this now.

Treat your parents with some respect and maybe you will get some back. They are not there just to continue doing things for you.

LOL at being pissed off at your dad, but not the cock out playing golf.

Oh, I recognise you now.

LTB x a million.

But you won't.

If i were your parents i wouldn't like him either.

Course he can stay over. Being a single parent doesn't mean she can't have overnight guests or a sex life.

Why would it piss you off? It's bugger all to do with you.

Your back story has every bearing on this thread too OP. Im surprised your parents still actually have anything to do with you at all given your lifestyle. You really seem to feel that you are entitled to have it all but not have to do it the hard way the rest of us do. Being a grown up means taking full responsibility for your life and what happens in it and your part in it being the way it is. It is not your Dads fault that your floor is not not being done. It is yours and yours alone.

your parents sound difficult but then you know that about them so it shouldn't be a surprise. Leave them out of the equation and have a long hard look at the relationship your in, that seems to be the real issue here.