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Original poster

Why do my parents behave like this??? So pissed off!!!

119 replies

Catflap1 · 18/05/2014 10:48

My parents don't like anyone! They dislike my sisters partners (to the extent that they don't even go to my sister houses and haven't for over 20 years) and they recently fell out with my other sister after my mum blew her top one day at my sisters husbsnd because they decided to relocate there young family to a different town, my mum didn't like this and told them exactly what she thought of her husband!

My parents have recently decided they don't like my boyfriend for reasons relating to my pregnancy and recent issues we have been having (his drinking/not supporting pregnancy etc at begining) now I know we are having issues and that's fine it's my oroblem/issues not theirs, my boyfriend had never ever done anything to effect my parents!

Few weeks back they told me they would not visit my house if he was here..... Fine I said but throwing your toys out your pram and acting childish is not going to end my relationship with him any sooner!

Today it was arranged that my dad would come over and help me with a day of DIY, I'm 5 months pregnant and have been painting/decorating like mad, he agreed to help me with bigger jobs like flooring, light fittings etc! Been out this week and brought everything, last night we were at a family party and they said they would be here at 8am this morning, I said that's fine but boyfriend is now not going to his golf weekend until 10am as the time has been changed! Dad then just said "well I'm not doing it then and ignored me for rest of the night!

I'm so upset and cross, I hate how everything is great and they will help you if you toe the line with whst they want but if you don't then your fucked!

So now I have a lounge full of lino flooring, skirting boards etc and I really can't afford a professional to come in, I live alone as a single parent on benefits!

I'm so so upset and don't know what to do, I have been working/saving really hard to get house sorted in time for the baby

OP posts:
AmberLeaf · 18/05/2014 13:29

Why on earth was shagging your boyfriend this night more important than getting your house decorated when you knew what your parents think about this idiot you are procreating with?

Do you realise how nasty that comes across? Was it meant to?

AmberLeaf · 18/05/2014 13:30

You have said that you and he are planning on moving in together soon on your other thread

If that is what you took from that thread, you can't have read it.

AmberLeaf · 18/05/2014 13:33

Quint.

I'm independent and do all my own DIY, but yes by dad did say he would help me with some flooring and bigger electrical jobs today so I could get my kitchen finished... I spent all of yesterday up a ladder myself painting it!

I'm actually doing my own flooring now.... Because I have no choice so far I have moved my fridge freezer and washing machine out and only have the dishwasher to go.... Not a easy task to do alone when your 23 weeks pregnant but apprantly I'm acting entilted if I ask for help!

She has got her house decorated by her own hand.

Bindibach · 18/05/2014 13:34

Amber op doesn't appear to be ending things with bf at all. Quite the contrary. She posted recently that they are planning on moving in together.

Her father is not a man in her life, he is her father and doesn't have to do anything to help if he wants to . He has his own life to live now after bringing up his own children the best he could.

Bindibach · 18/05/2014 13:37

I took from the other thread that she and he were discussing moving in together but she feels that she will lose out money wise if he does.
It is all a bit of a mess really isn't it and the op is the only one who is responsible for her own life not the bf nor the parents but her.

AmberLeaf · 18/05/2014 13:38

As recently as teatime yesterday she had a thread going [that I posted on and have been following] saying the opposite.

AmberLeaf · 18/05/2014 13:39

Losing out on money was one part of the problem, the others, mainly his attitude towards her children, was another.

She has taken steps, she will do it in her own time.

ILoveCoreyHaim · 18/05/2014 13:45

OP if he's golfing and allowing u to move heavy white goods when your pregnant I would get rid of him. Your putting your claim for WTC (if your WTC is stopped then so is your HB) at risk and in turn your kids wellbeing at risk should anyone report you to the authorities. If he knows your dad was supposed to help and hasn't came, even if he is shit at DIY he could have helped with lifting stuff.

Your DP at fault, your DF is definitely not at fault. Your an adult and git yourself into this situation so I guess if you stay with him it will always be like this

Bindibach · 18/05/2014 13:49

She did praise her dad in that one though saying he brought up her and her two stepsisters as though they were all his own. He doesn't sound that bad.

Of course she must do whats right for her but I guess when you start so many threads about your intimate life and the problems you have then you are allowing yourself and your life to be open to scrutiny.

Isetan · 18/05/2014 13:51

Amber She ended up doing the DIY herself because she couldn't keep her 'Cock lodging twat' away for a weekend, even when he wasn't actually staying the weekend but rather using her address as a convenient B&B for his golfing jolly. Oh, and the stupidity martydoom of moving heavy goods at her stage of pregnancy is Confused.

QuintessentiallyQS · 18/05/2014 13:51

Yeah , I guess this boyfriend is just waiting gir the pregnant woman to finish decorating before he moves his golden arse in.

AmberLeaf · 18/05/2014 13:57

Isetan

Read again. She had done all of the painting and decorating, she just asked her Dad for some help with the flooring and electrics today.

She ended up doing stuff today on her own, because her Dad threw a strop.

AmberLeaf · 18/05/2014 14:01

Of course she must do whats right for her but I guess when you start so many threads about your intimate life and the problems you have then you are allowing yourself and your life to be open to scrutiny

Right.

Threads asking for advice, which she has got, that and lots of support, which she needs, especially if her parents are not doing so.

Some of the replies here have just been plain nasty and uncalled for.

Take a look at yourselves.

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis · 18/05/2014 14:05

Your bf can though afford to drink and go on a golfing holiday? But he can't either do the DIY himself or pay for someone to do it?
Yes, your parents are being a little ott, but by the sounds of it is concern rather than bloody minded ness.

ILoveCoreyHaim · 18/05/2014 14:09

I apologise for saying op was fiddling her single parent benefits, it appears she thinks she is above board and I know how confusing the system is.

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis · 18/05/2014 14:15

Oh and why are you not getting maintenance? (It was the same excuse for a man wasn't it?) he wasn't a anonymous sperm donor, you had a relationship. He needs to shell out and support his kids.

AmberLeaf · 18/05/2014 14:17

She was married previously Ohwhat

It isn't her fault if her ex doesn't financially support their children.

bringbacksideburns · 18/05/2014 14:45

"Because I have no choice so far I have moved my fridge freezer and washing machine out and only have the dishwasher to go.... Not a easy task to do alone when your 23 weeks pregnant " - er, but you do have a choice? Can't the father of your child help you or assist by paying for someone else to do that? Rather than going off playing Golf or am i missing something here??

Blimey.

You are getting mad at the wrong people here - your dad when it should be your golf playing partner helping you out because that's what couples are supposed to do when they are having a baby together and need work doing? Confused

Quitelikely · 18/05/2014 14:49

Don't involve your family in your relationship problems then. Simples.

Original poster
Catflap1 · 18/05/2014 15:20

amber leaf thank you for actually reading the thread and seeing it for what it is instead of just submising that I'm frauding the benefits system, getting myself pregnsnt by anyone and so forth!

This thread was nothing to do with my bf, this golf weekend for his and his brothers birthday has been booked for 6 months (before I even knew I was pregnant! This thread was about my frustration with my parents, like I said not just me but the way they also behave with my sisters to when they are not doing exactly what they want us to do.... They punish us by behaving childishly! Bearing in mind we are 34,37,41,43)

This isn't about me expecting them to do stuff for me? I do everything myself! I needed soon help with electrics, moving appliances out of kitchen and when it comes to flooring I would off been on my hands and knees along with my 5 month bump helping my dad!

To those who asked about bf and if I'm dining anything svout it then yes I am, we didn't have a chance to talk together yeasterday as didn't want to do when kids are around so I have told him that we must talk tomorrow night when the girls are in bed!

Oh and whoever said In talking about him moving in in another thread needs to go back and re read it, I have made it 100% clear that he is not moving in not do I want him to.

OP posts:
LizLimone · 18/05/2014 15:22

What bringback said: you're mad at the wrong person here. Your 'boyfriend' aka the father of your unborn child is the one in the wrong here, sponging off you and your Dad's free DIY when he earns enough to pay his fair share. Or would you lose benefits if he contributed? Yes, god forbid men who father children would pay for them instead of sponging off the state!

Your Dad was maybe childish in his response by sulking about things but you sound plenty childish yourself ('for those of you saying I'm .... FUCK OFF' to quote your earlier statement) so that's clearly the family dynamic.

There's a pair of you in it - trio, actually given your bf's apparent immaturity and selfishness - and you all sound as bad as each other.

ILoveCoreyHaim · 18/05/2014 15:28

Your dad said he wouldn't come if boyfriend was there. He told you this in advance. He must have a reason for this possibly from what's been going on or you have told them. Boyfriend was there at 8 am so he said he wouldn't be coming. Boyfriend should have left at 8 am if you wanted him to come as planned as this is what was arranged and planned, to come at 8 am without your partner present. Due to boyfriend being there he said he wasn't coming. I'm struggling to see how your dad is at fault.

ILoveCoreyHaim · 18/05/2014 15:32

This isn't about me expecting them to do stuff for me? I do everything myself! I needed soon help with electrics, moving appliances out of kitchen and when it comes to flooring I would off been on my hands and knees along with my 5 month bump helping my dad!

But you are, your expecting him to still come at 8 am and help you when dp is there and he stated he wouldn't visit with him present and he said so weeks ago. Why couldn't DP leave at 88 am and fill a couple of hrs in having breakfast or whatever. Had he done so your dad would be there helping and you could have both sorted out the house together

Viviennemary · 18/05/2014 16:34

As often is the case it's the person doing the most to help that is getting the criticism. In this case the OP's Dad. Your DP is a selfish waste of space. And the sooner you realise this the better. Then you might be able to move forward and sort out your life. Don't get annoyed with the wrong people.

expatinscotland · 18/05/2014 18:08

He had plenty of money to pay someone to decorate the home where his child will be living if he wanted to go play golf.

But hey, get angry with your dad instead. Hmm