Dear STBXH

[WellWhoKnew]

Thank you for trying to save me costs of divorce by selecting a solicitor for me and by covering their costs, you are doing me a favour, I know.

Thank you for being fair by offering to take only 40% of the assets in my name to enable a quick resolution to the end of the marriage, which is what you want.

Of course, I realise that the assets in your name aren't mine because you are the man. Sorry you are THE MAN. I do keep getting things wrong, so I perfectly understand that you want a divorce.

All the same, thank you for offering me a speedy divorce by asking me to agree that we have been separated for two years so that I can move on with my life. Okay, we both know it's less than two weeks in actualment since you walked. I remain in shock but I'm so grateful that you have my best interests at heart during this difficult time.

So, Soon To Be Ex-Husband, thank you.

Because you are a twat and I'm so much better off without you.

Arthritic - you're not butting in, you're very welcome with your excellent suggestion!

Specially Acquired 'Needs' to mitigate financial obligations...
Acrimonious conversations
Obfuscate Calendar...

I never post on this board because I have nothing useful to add but I just wanted to say that I admire your indomitable spirit.

Thanks minsmum for taking the time to say something.

I truly have no other option but to KOKO. I've looked at the alternative and decided it is not for me.

Take care yourself. WWK.

Got to suggest this forum, too:

Because I'm Worth It

And say that I truly admire your presence of mind, WWK, your clarity, and your strength.
I had not one of these qualities. Result - financial ruin and further heartbreak.
I think this thread ought to be saved with the moral:
find the strength to blast the F*ers with a SHL because they are total shits. And don't ever think any other form of communication, let alone resolution, is possible with them.

If I could turn back time ...

Last one:
How to Produce the Best Spaghetti Brains in for your partner
will stop now - promist

Arthritic - I'm sorry you've had to experience this too. The sheer horror of abandonment isn't just the heartbreak but how the hell you're going to pay the bills when your income = zero.

It is no surprise to me that others have struggled. In a way I got 'lucky' because I had to get the two year separation stopped - it was a total lie and I could not, and will not, treat the court with contempt. He would always have that knowledge over me - and if he decided to use that as a 'negotiation' tool in the future, I would be three times fucked.

There's that politician's wife who lied about minor speeding crime, and both of them got sent to prison. It's all us mere little people need to know.

So the only reason I have a SHL is because of that - I wouldn't have even considered a solicitor-led divorce except for him doing that.

So I handed my life over to her, and fell apart for quite a long time.

So in some ways I think: "Thank God he's a fuckwit".

And with that I submit:

Dickhead's Weekly Decrees.

The shitters say.

Not abandoned - more twisted than that.
Same shitface, though.
I submit:
Adult Fiction - Or Lying

The main area of the board would surely be called 'why won't she just do as I tell her' and there must be a 'pretending I never had a life with her' area

Haha brilliant

'Braindead things my wife/girlfriend says/does'

Wwk your SIBU suggestion - is that She is being unreasonable or Since I'm?

Definitely 'She is being Unreasonable'

With threads of:

SIBU - why won't she just fuck off?
SIBU - why can't I keep all the money in the marriage?
SIBU - why won't she just let me bully her?
SIBU - why can't I sleep with other women?
ISBU? - how can I stop her having a SHL?

SIBU - her SHL expects me to fill in the correct paperwork...in full.

SIBU - she expects to live in her house.
SIBU - she expects me to remove my belongings from her house.
SIBU - why didn't she beg me to stay with her?

De-lurking to suggest:

SIBU - What's yours is ours & what's mine is my own

And related to that:

How to determine what is classed as a "marital asset" vs personal posessions

Sorry allergic got to modify that:

Nothing is hers (or the children's) - nothing at all - It's all MIIIIINE!!!

which is indeed:
How to determine a marital asset

"How to determine what is classed as a "marital asset" vs personal possessions"

Oh gosh, that's an easy one! Marital asset=anything in her name &/or anything I don't want. Personal possession=anything in my name &/or anything I do want.

Gosh, we could be having the first 'bun-fight' (cockfight?) on DickHeadsNet.com

Marital asset = anything I don't want.
My Personal possession = anything in my name &/or anything I do want.
Loaned on a temporary basis = anything in her name!

Sorry wwk - you are absolutely right - 'anything I don't want' (in my case some old plates) is, in fact, hers.
My bad.
As long as she is humbly grateful for my munificence, of course.

Haha!

SIBU - in having a different opinion sometimes
SIBU - to want an occasional lie in at the weekends
SIBU - in challenging my behaviour
SIBU - in expecting me to respond when she talks to me

May I add one more. I am 15 years post dumping (he told his parents before he told me that detail will never leave me). How I wish I had your advice those years ago.

However I will add

• you can have a life after a shit husband
• I am without doubt a better person for said divorce
• it's bloody hard to star with

May I add the board title I have decided to change my life and don't want to be married so there

find the strength to blast the Fers with a SHL because they are total shits. And don't ever think any other form of communication, let alone resolution, is possible with them.*

If I could turn back time ...

Oh, Arthritic, me too! I've learned so much since then - and share it with others when I can, because I will emphatically not be embarking on any more marriages of my own, let alone divorces

Dear STBXH,

I'm back in ponderous mood facing a very busy week. Such is the irony of my life having been sacked and dumped, and remaining stoically unemployed.

Tomorrow, thanks to the revelations contained within your form E, I have an appointment with the GUM clinic.

Thanks for that. It feels like I'm about to be assaulted all over again. But, at least tomorrow I will consent to it.

On Wednesday, I go to court again to testify in the crime that was committed against me in December [not a personal assault]. You know, that incident that you blamed me for. It really wasn't my fault - I know that now.

And the irony of the week - the man who is on trial this week has your first name. You hate your Christian name. I have to confess - so do I.

Mind you, I hate you too, so it's not just your name, and all it represents, that motivates me these days. It is your whole fucking being.

I shall be instructing my SHL to use your first name with wanton abandon in any further dealings with you. I note that in all your correspondence to me, you have chosen to call me by my Christian name - which absolutely nobody uses. Not.even.you. Not once in 15 years.

And actually, most people like my Christian name. It's just that I've always been known by a nickname.

It's your way to make sure I am just an object.

Well, at the very least, I'm enjoying being objectionable!

But just as dealing with tomorrow, I have to accept that not only did you fuck with my body, you also fucked with my mind.

Thirdly, my Form E is now 'wrong'. I declared the two on-going court cases that I was involved with were pending settlement. One of them was a business arrangement that you made, and that I, as your 'trustworthy' wife, went along with. It has now been resolved. I suspect that the financial award that is heading my way you will dictate goes into the escrow account. Hey ho.

As for the other, it remains on-going. Just like our divorce.

And on Friday, I will go for my weekly sanity check.

But you see, when I reflect on my life as it currently stands, it really does sum up that you abused my body, my mind and the finances.

So quite a busy week for me. Yet, you are still bleating about your 'work' pressures.

Woe is you - huh!

This week proves to me that I really can cope with you and your worst. Because, it's just 'shit that needs to be done'.

So in two weeks' time, on a Friday [FFS!], I will go to court yet again to deal with you.

It will be my fifth court hearing this year - all a consequence of being married to you. Given what I've had to manage this year, I feel very prepared for it. You could almost say 'trained' for it.

At least I can get to the courthouse, and say 'hello again' to the staff that work there, they will ask so which unfashionable first name are you here for today?

I can't wait for SHL v 'shs'.

Because, actually, I'm realising just how well I am coping. Team WWK have done a sterling job - not because I deserve it or I'm entitled to it. Just because, well, shit happens.

You're the shit. You happened.

I just deal with it.

Wife, seven weeks to being totally disconnected to you.

Are you planning something for when you're 'free' at last WWK?

KOKO, you are doing a sterling job x

FAIW WWK Toad blamed me too when someone reversed into my car while I was just driving down the road minding my own business. Toad enjoyed putting me into financial difficulty. To his dismay I did not even lose my no claims discount, as it was clearly not my fault.

Toad always made a point of not being able to pronounce my Christian name and said my name sounds nasty and aggressive. Still he always introduced me with his version of my Christian name And he always bizarrely introduced himself as "Mr Toad". This is why I call him that in correspondence. Personally, it helps me to detach.

He hates it. He wants to be called by his first name. So my strategy works in the same way that it will probably wind him up a lot if you call him by his Christian name that he dislikes. Even better in direct correspondence, if you have to directly correspond with him.

I hope tomorrow is not going to be too awful. Mind you, I should probably do the same.

Nothing planned as yet Mistlethrush - don't know how much money I've got to spend...

At the moment I am just a poor impoverished wife [really]. At the end of this, I shall not be.

Just don't know when it ends. Just know that it does.