Dear STBXH

[WellWhoKnew]

Thank you for trying to save me costs of divorce by selecting a solicitor for me and by covering their costs, you are doing me a favour, I know.

Thank you for being fair by offering to take only 40% of the assets in my name to enable a quick resolution to the end of the marriage, which is what you want.

Of course, I realise that the assets in your name aren't mine because you are the man. Sorry you are THE MAN. I do keep getting things wrong, so I perfectly understand that you want a divorce.

All the same, thank you for offering me a speedy divorce by asking me to agree that we have been separated for two years so that I can move on with my life. Okay, we both know it's less than two weeks in actualment since you walked. I remain in shock but I'm so grateful that you have my best interests at heart during this difficult time.

So, Soon To Be Ex-Husband, thank you.

Because you are a twat and I'm so much better off without you.

I am torn on this because half of me really wants him to DROP DOWN DEAD tomorrow because you'd get all his assets, he'd be out of your life and, well, he'd be dead.

But the other half of me really doesn't want him to DROP DOWN DEAD because that would prove he was right about his TERRIBLE LIFE-THREATENING HEART CONDITION. And no-on likes a smug bastard, do they?

Anyway, keep on at it WWK. xx

And no-on likes a smug bastard, do they? Well no, but a DEAD smug bastard? I think we could all live with that!

Sadly not Tracy - he's already changed his will. He paid for a new one right after he got a solicitor (in his bank statements) so I'll just be suing his inheritors...

And I kind of want him to live so that he can be angry for the rest of his life. 'Cos I is the unreasonable one, innit.

WWK I understand what you mean. You know when people say "death is too good for them!" thats him. Every day he lives he lives knowing he lost to you, the unreasonable nagging selfish harpie.

The knowledge of that would make me smile every day for the rest of my life, once the hell was over.

Dear STBXH

A ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

O ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho,

He, he he....

You are truly a man who can make me laugh 'until I wet myself', and it seems whilst I concur this should not now be for life, it remains a fact until we divorce.

Well, if I didn't laugh I would cry. But I'm so over crying about you.

It all started with a Form A

To get a court order, ensuring maintenance is what you must pay

"But I don't want to do a Form E", We heard you say.

So the judge ordered you to do so without delay.

And with that gavelled a costs order to your dismay.

And so we graduated to Form E.

Which my solicitor compiled for a fee.

And we pondered upon yours, you see.

I did mine, truthfully, in order to avoid committing a crime.

My SHL sent it off to court on time.

And you sent the court your Form E late, but alas - no fine!

And then my SHL sent yours a copy by email

And several days later, yours arrived by snail.

But with several pages absent, your Form E appeared to fail.

And despite the incomplete Form E,

Notably no signature nor info on salar-y

We got from the court the missing pages from their cop-y'.

And so my lovely SHL invited me over for tea.

And produced a questionnaire, a statement of issues and a chronolog-y.

But, of course, only for her usual fee!

And this morning she sent to the court and to you, just for me.

Yet another court document, called a Form G.

This time to confirm whether we able to proceed

To the FDA, where we should attempt to agree.

And in reply, we received yet another Form E!

So as I move through the steps A - G,

We've gone from your refusing Form E

To having a grand total of three!

And not one of them agree.

And your signature remains notably asbent-y

On all the documents, your shs has submitted for her fee.

Never mind - we complete yet another Form G

Which informs the court we have no wish to proceed,

Because of your idiocy

We are all mostly agreed.

There is little point until we can foresee

A time when you cease your lunac-y.

Attached is a notice of intention

Of a wasted costs application

You drive us all to distraction.

But I fear for this latest aberration

A judge will order yet another extraction

Of your hard-earned for my amelioration.

Wife, shit poet, but good at spending your money with glee!

That had proper verses in it when I composed it.

Bah hug!

You would have thought that he might have learned with the first set of costs...

Well, it's a bit of an overkill isn't it?

I've now got four Form E's = mine, his, his and his.

Any today the printer has packed up!

I'm looking forward to finding out what the fuck has happened. Whether it's him or her, or whether in fact they are a match made in heaven!

One hopes that they're a match made somewhere other than heaven!

I'm not surprised your printer has packed up. I wonder whether you can claim one back on the basis that if you hadn't had to print his multiple form E versions it wouldn't have broken?

They're going to be a match made 'in contempt of court' if this palaver carries on much longer!

Haven't posted on here for ages, I can't quite believe he's still dicking about with the same thing, even though I completely expected him to still be dicking about with the same thing!

And still I found myself saying out-loud to someone the other day

"Yeah, I think this will all be over by November or December". And I was stone cold sober at the time.

Then I got pissed and saw sense.

Spoke to SHL today - the World's Grumpiest Gudge, alas, is on sick leave. So definitely not him at the next court hearing .

But we have a contingency plan if we don't get costs awarded at the next hearing .

Gudge - Judge!

I may or may not be on the

Been lurking awhile, but I'm decloaking to give you a nod - respect, WWK. And extra points for the poem. Your STBXH really is a weapons grade c**t, isn't he?

Dust - I'm coming to the opinion that he is slightly paramilitary, but I'm hearing stories that are really WMD.

I'm working on the theory that there is a DickHeadsNet forum somewhere...

All currently quite on the Western Front, which is nice, considering it's a Friday night...

Oh lucky you, a quiet Friday night but well deserved.

May be we should set up a DickHeadsNet forum so they will have somewhere to vent.

I rather liked Grumpy Gudge, it could catch on

Love the idea of DickHeadsNet.com

Christ he's so resentful and childish wwk he's just continually cutting his nose off to spite his face.

Brilliant poem by the way

Can we nominate people we think should join Dickheadsnet.com?

I think there should be some kind of qualifying criteria - being as it is an exclusive club for the deluded masters of the universe.

And there should be Forum titles?

Chat Form E
SIBU.
Abusing Relationships
Ante-Natal Abandonment
Shit Parenting
Style and Fuckwittery
Money Mishandling
...

Some more ideas:

• Financial Control
• "Self Defense"
• Victorian Values (in education)
• The Doghouse

• Gaslighting - a self help guIde
• No-one understand me
• It's not me, it's them
• What to do when your STBXW expects the world from you

Ooh, I could really go to town on this!

Me too Mine

Legal Machinations
Shite Stuff
Work, families and fucking them over.
Dickheads in the news (F4J).
Dickhead Campaigns

Sorry to butt in, but been following this thread in admiration and had to add the most important forum:
Poor Me