He has pissed off a lot of people in recent months - not least of all me!
For whatever reason, which I will possibly never really know or understand, he upped and left in the most deceitful and unexpected circumstances. Pretending we had a future, whilst all the time preparing to exit.
That sort of cowardice, and viciousness, utterly destroys a person and everything you think you believe in. This is the person I trusted the most, who knows the most about me, that I loved and admired, and whom I was the most vulnerable to. It has floored me in the last three months - I am not ashamed to admit that. I thought I was a strong person, in a strong marriage to a man with strong principles.
I have been utterly blindsided.
But I can't say strongly enough: there's so many of us around - and I can't thank those women enough for getting through it and coming back and telling us 'it gets better'; you will heal; for providing support and advice, or for just a little 'KOKO'. Your experience benefits us (although I'm sorry you had to experience it).
I never thought I'd write (didn't even know I could) about the hell that being abandoned is - but it is not just the emotional: the absolute fear of how the hell you are going cope with the practical aspects, and also what it actually means to get divorced when you don't want to get divorced (I'm not contesting though) and how the hell you are going to keep the wolf from the door. I had no concept of what divorce means - I had never thought about. Although my divorce doesn't start until later in the year (I'll keep writing, I think!), today has given us both a reality check:
I can't be bullied by him any more. I don't have to live in fear of what he might do. He's done some awful things and it hasn't worked. My SHB thinks he won't change, that she'll be representing me in the final hearing. I sincerely hope not, I hope he can see sense and start co-operating, and quit with the dirty tricks.
I'll be sure to come here for a rant if he disappoints!
I'm one of the lucky ones because I can just about afford a solicitor (despite his best efforts to leave me in punery). I salute any woman who has to deal with this on her own.
No drinks tonight (Back with the SHL in the morning to prepare for the divorce proper) but I'll raise a drink :
Get a SHL, add in a dash of SHB, a slice of grumpy judge, and dick of a STBXH: it's a sobering "cock-tale".
Chin, chin!