Not had sex for almost two years

[Olliedelondon]

I very much love my DW. Before we had our two children, we had a reasonable sex life, although I would always initiate. But since our children we have had very little sex (once every four months maybe) and nothing at all for now almost two years. My DW says that I am unreasonable in my 'needs' and that I should focus all my attentions on looking after the children. But I think it's destroying our marriage and I'm not prepared to sacrifice a sex life and frankly don't see why I should. I also don't think she fancies me. At all. Am I unreasonable? What should I do? I have 'got by' by using pornography in secret. I have also started fantasising about attractive colleagues, although I have never had an affair. The sexual frustration I feel is almost painful...Help?

And I would like to reiterate that he has had sex in the last two years because he's got a 9month old baby.

Dark, I'm well aware of the stigma and that that may affect it, I still am inclined to believe a significant amount of women do not masturbate (im sure some men dont either). It wasnt exactly 43% that was just an example. Are you trying to say 100%, or even 97% of women masturbate? Do you seriously believe 100% of women have orgasmed in their lives? Some women (people, infact) are pretty much asexual and just not interested or will ever attain much pleasure from sex. Inevitably these people also get married too, as there are many other benefits besides sex.

Its like some women on here cannot cope with any other concept than the one where every woman on this planet is just dying for lots of sex but the crap men are so shit in bed they can't give it them.

22 honey I know EXACTLY how it feels but I can still see what the OP is saying doesn't quite add up Unless the 9 month old was an immaculate conception.

22 honey Im well aware of asexuality thankyou I am married to someone who has no interest Please read my link or at least skim it before telling me (someone almost 20 years older than you) stuff which I already know

Well then hes been talking crap then! Or maybe not if his DW only allows crap mechanical TTC sex and the moment she gets the BFP the knickers go firmly back on and stay that way? If so he might aswell say hes had no sex since before then. Still odd though that he apparently had sex 9 months ago but now DW wont even kiss him, maybe its a things get worse with time situation where as she could bare it before, she can bare it no longer and the thought of sex, particularly with OP repulses her.

Apparently this is common, unfortunately for those DH's out there, when a woman has finished with her biological need for sex (ie finished having children) to go off and avoid it all together.

No idea how he will get through this one.

No, and I don't see where you are getting that from either? Bit of a mental extrapolation that is!

Why is saying that women with a clitoris are physiologically capable of orgasm and that sexism and porn have condemned women to tolerate bad sex and men to being poor lovers in a lot of cases the same as saying every woman is dying for sex and every man is bad at it?

Some people are asexual but it is only about 1% of people - not even a significant minority.

Inevitably these people also get married too, as there are many other benefits besides sex.

As long as they are honest to their partners then its fine Its when deceit comes into play that I object

Oh dear Dark, no need to be ageist to try and prove your more knowledgeable about something than me. How very rude and patronising.

He had sex 18 months ago to produce his 9 month old. He had embellished his story to 2 years.

I really wish you'd stop repeating crap misogyny you've read in women's magazines 22...

It is not common for frigid women to deliberately trick a man into thinking they like sex in order to get a baby and then withdraw it...

'Biological need for sex'

Offred I have found that when a woman posts on here that she is in a sexless marriage that is EXACTLY what she means.

When a man posts the same on here it usually turns out that there IS sex but its just happening very very rarely. Ive noticed this quite a few times.

I AM more knowledgable than you 22

BECAUSE I AM LIVING IT. and have been for 18 years!

Trust me, even if a man knows your clitoris is what needs stimulating, theres no guarantee hes going to have any talent or that you will like his technique.

I don't see how porn has condemned women to a life of bad sex, maybe just being incompatible sexually with your partner is more the problem? Surely men arn't all that stupid they think porn is an accurate portrayal of sex?

Some people just dont both initiating or showing their partner what they like, something I've always done and got the orgasms from doing so. They need to improve their self confidence with regards to their sexuality, and the partner needs to listen to what they need. From my experience its not that hard to find a man willing to listen and 'perform'.

Yes, but it is not always possible to know I suppose. In this case it is easy to spot the embellishment.

And yet you deny thinking women don't like sex 22 Your post above JESUS WEPT.

No, it's not hard to find a man who can perform but they often need a bit of re-educating about female sexuality IME. From what you've posted you believe the same crap misogyny that causes men to be bad lovers and bad partners though!

If the baby is nearly 10 month he hasn't embellished his story quite so much, also, his thread title clearly says nearly two years so it's barely an exaggeration.

Surely men arn't all that stupid they think porn is an accurate portrayal of sex

Im afraid a lot of them do. My work in a sex chatline office 12 years ago really was an eye opener.

Kirsty Wark the newsnight presenter has apparently filmed a documentary which is being screened in May. She was concerned about what she dubs the "new misogyny" among young people Young boys are actually watching porn on their phones in the back of classrooms Of course this will affect them AND the girls/young women they go on to date.

YY Offred yes you are right there is no real way of knowing.

It's not hard to find a man who can perform because it's not rocket science btw.

If you don't think porn affects expectations of sex you should watch that bbc3 thing presented by jameela jamil. Boys asking the sex ed teacher 'but if I carry on she will eventually like it won't she?' As a result of watching porn. Amongst other things.

6 months is 1/4 of two years! That's quite an embellishment!

'but if I carry on she will eventually like it won't she?'

Facepalms (Yoo hoo. Anyone still want to help out the OP's query ? Let's centre ourselves and bring it back to him. Let this be about his issue at hand, and not it be about us.)

Surely men arn't all that stupid they think porn is an accurate portrayal of sex
Erm... take my advice, and don't put money on that...

Dontlooknow your post is almost identical to what I posted up thread. I bet, like me ,you have a great sex life.
I wish!
Glad someone's getting it though, simplesusan