The Dating Thread 73.

[MadeMan]

Hello and welcome.

I'm on the wine too! Think it's good to avoid them really if they're full on, put kisses etc, although that's pretty much all of them for me! I've had loads on Tinder offering sex or saying I look like I am up for some fun....really annoys me!

cheers! Ill have no dating stories for you, nothing lined up at moment! But I do have social stuff with friends and family on this wkend.....include plenty of wine! I'm messaging a couple of guys on Tinder but no meet ups arranged yet.....

She is on holiday , I know she snuggled up in front of open fire and over feed.and happy but wish I'd gone now but my holiday amount is less than I. Used to couldn't go

I've just been on the phone to postie#1 who I dated twice a while ago. We have still kept in touch and message each other occasionally with our dating exploits.

He said he was in the pub on Saturday with friends and someone off POF msgd him whilst he was there, she came to the pub they were at (after he quickly viewed her profile). She then got rapidly drunk and couldn't walk, slurring her words etc. He took her home and put her in his spare room, she then pounced on him, stark naked! And he had to gently say no and put her to bed.

The next morning she got up, had a coffee and left. She then text him later to say she'd had a great time and would he like to see her again!!!

What a laugh!!!

I'm drinking wine too.. meeting a guy monday for a drink
, chatting to a few others ! Some complete twat messaged me today.. opening line "when are you cooking dinner for me ? " for some reason I replied.. He then said " I will bring you to my favourite restaurant and look after you , second date you will cook for me !!" Bloody cheek!!

Much more wine needed !!

jarlin did you sleep with slow? only asking cos I did with baldy which is fine until my insecurities flared up and I started thinking he is only using me for sex
I think men are v difficult to read as they are so different to women. when I asked baldy to be exclusive because I don't want to be used and get hurt he reassured me that he wouldn't want to hurt me and I believe him.
on a good day I can see that he is quite reserved and private and had his fingers burnt in the past so doesn't want to rush into something heavy. and tbh neither do I. however on a bad day my insecurities kick in and I think he should be chasing me etc etc

I don't know about yr past but I know mine effects my thinking. exh was abusive and totally controlling. I rushed headfirst into our relationship. we had moved in together within weeks and he was super full on. so to me that is normal. we also lived in each others pockets so it seems strange to me to have so much breathing space.

xp was very needy. I used to spend hours on the phone to him each day. He would ring on the way to work and in his breaks and on the way home and in the evening. he would tell me every detail if his day etc.
so to me that is normal so if baldy doesn't text then I worry he doesn't care iyswim.

can you see what I am saying? my past is tainting my future.

in your email the things you highlighted could all have a perfectly reasonable explanation. .. I think you need to be kind to yourself and trust in the situation.

god knows it isn't easy. I struggle with this every day. xxx

Jarlin - thanks for the email.

Firstly, this relationship though its established, I suppose he's like a few men I know in relationships (Kent Lad for one) - they look at the bigger picture, hence when Slow says things about possibly moving - I think he's also thinking long term but also thinking out loud (which sometimes women don't do).

I think he also just isn't thinking re the remembrance holiday and it's not personal but maybe he thinks it'd be too depressing for you to go on that one. Could you suggest a cheapy holiday with him?

why don't you (maybe it's stupid me even suggesting this!) - but why don't you ask him about long term plans and where you stand? I think I would.

I will not join you with though as had too much last night!

Texted MBB tonight and got text back from him saying he's got a new job (which he was after as he left his old one 2 months ago) - he really wants ( not necessarily needs to) work!

He sounds happy and I think is one of those people (like me) who need to work. I can see that and can see maybe why he was stressed today.

jarlin I'm with super on this one.

have a or a or a

jesy damn even the dog's away!

Get a cat - I'm a cat lover.

seriously though you can do what you want all weekend, great!

white - sorry to be short (tired and hungover no excuse!) but yes, I really agree with you re men being totally different to us women.

I keep meaning to read Men are From Mars book but never do. perhaps it'd give insights.

if I ever ask someone like my brother or one of his male mates about men they're next to no use, LOL. typical.

Can I hijack this and ask a Q re my brother's marriage and a problem there, some feedback pls?

only you women are so friendly here… creep creep

Jarlin to be honest I'd just be calm about it…

and approach it, say like you've said here.

jarlin I know. I hear you. Maybe you should just ask him. ask him where he thinks things are going between the 2 of you?
I hope you didn't think I was criticising or judging you before. I just meant that I totally get what you are saying and I really believe we underestimate the impact of the past. and I also truly believe that other people can be horribly tactless when they pass comment as they usually have bo idea about my past and cannot understand how it makes me feel and certainly have zero idea of how it might affect my future.

super what were you going to say about your brother?

"He's also a big 'gamer' (Xbox) which is also a red flag for me too!"

To be honest there's nowt all on telly worth watching, pubs are crap and so these days it's either video games, or the classic 'tinkering' in the shed/garage for middle aged men.

At least if he's playing his Xbox you know where he is; he'll be shouting abuse at Americans in the spare room.

jarlin I agree 100%

you need some feedback from him... not necessarily a promise of happily ever after but some understanding of what his feelings for you are x

I'm thinking he abroad thing was just thinking out loud. When something ends its good to think about all options. It doesn't that's his priority or his I'm just a little blue sky thinking.

My ex was a gamer. Yes I always knew where he was, till he had an affair. Having said that, I quite like gamers, just not 24/7.