jarlin With regards to not seeing him as 'forever', there are number of things that influence it really. Things from my side that are emotional and things from his side that are logistical.
Firstly, I don't really think I would ever be someone's 'The One' (although we did do something when we were away and he said that all he'd ever wanted was a gf he could do that with! - not a dodgy sex thing, to be clear 
). I don't think anyone will ever be sufficiently interested, or love me enough for forever. It's a bit like paper aeroplanes. Sometimes you make one well enough or throw it well enough for it to fly for some distance, but eventually it runs out of momentum or whatever and it falls, however hard you try or however much you will it not to. That's how I see it all/'love'. So I don't see it as being 'forever' - as much as I like the idea of it!
Which is an improvement, because when I first started posting on the dating threads I was still at the stage of believing I was completely unloveable. I'm not there anymore, but believing anyone could genuinely love me enduringly? Tbh, I just don't see it. There's always going to be someone younger, thinner, more attractive. There's always going to be temptation and I just don't think I am enough for someone to resist temptation. So I don't really see a 'forever' in that sense.
Secondly, I've had two LTR and have a child from each. Each one I believed would be 'forever' but, in retrospect, both were abusive. The first was emotionally and physically, the second emotionally and financially. My upbringing was emotionally and physically abusive. So I don't really trust my judgement and I still feel quite fragile and panicky at the thought of anything long term because it feels quite claustrophobic. I also now associate LTRs with restriction and control and I quite like my freedom.
Thirdly, he's not British and he hasn't decided to move here permanently. He's travelled extensively and I'm not sure the wanderlust has left him yet. He has made comments recently about finding it all a bit tiring/considering a more 'normal' life and I know he likes it here... but I don't know how long he's been saying that for, or about how many places! And, tbh, I find it quite reassuring that I know it will end, I just don't know when. So I don't have to worry about whether this could be 'forever' because I already know it isn't.
In the meantime, he's very kind and thoughtful. He's honest with me. He doesn't make promises he knows he can't keep. And he appears to genuinely care about me. The other day he said something that upset me very mildly and briefly. It was my own fault for asking (I knew he'd be honest, you see) and I knew it was true. I was only mildly upset by it and the way he reassured me, well, I don't think anyone has ever made me feel so secure about anything else ever. I hope that I'm going to have my first ever genuine love affair with him. And if I woke up in 5 years time and found it was still going on, I'd be quite happy with that. But I'm also open to the prospect that it could end in the next few months. I wouldn't want it to, but who knows. And I would be sad, but not heartbroken or betrayed. I don't think I ever want to feel betrayed ever again and there's only one way I can guarantee that...
Sorry, I am aware that my posts are always really long! In my defence, I type really quickly, almost as quickly as I have the thoughts in the first place so, sorry about that!