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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

The Dating Thread 73.

999 replies

MadeMan · 19/04/2014 12:09

Hello and welcome.

OP posts:

DollyTwat · 21/04/2014 17:36

I emailed the married dad from school to let him know I'd seen him. I think he thought I was chatting him up initially, saying he didn't know I was single and what a flirt he is. So I asked his long he'd been single for .. I'm not is the reply

So I told him how horrible it must be for his wife for him to be in there, and embarrassing that lots if the single mums at school would have seen him

Then he tried the 'but Tinder isn't a dating site' rubbish!
He says he's deleted his profile

He isn't even guide looking, he's one if those loud Twatty dads that get very involved with the Ptfa as an ego trip!

DollyTwat · 21/04/2014 17:37

*if - of
*guide - good

Fecking iPhone

louby44 · 21/04/2014 17:51

shy I think if your seeing someone a couple of times a week and have been doing for a few weeks and the relationship has become physical you need to have the talk.

When I did OLD before and I met my exP we saw each other 3 times during the first week, sex on date#3 and I think we decided to become exclusive after about 3 weeks - we were both smitten and fell for each other really quickly - too quickly actually!

But if you really like someone it's very hard not to go too quickly

dontcallmehon22 · 21/04/2014 18:44

Dolly you dealt with married man well.

Geekyalike is meeting me in a public park next Friday. But he is quite perverse. I'm a bit freaked out.

SuperFlyHigh · 21/04/2014 18:59

dont - the only thing I'd advise is don't read too much into Geekyalike - unless that's what you want to do. It sounds as if the perverse thing isn't doing it for you, e.g. freaking you out.

I'm having nice chat messages with Mexican/Spaniard kung fu/Investement Banker (yet to be named) but I really think the Dance Man is too overweight (quite obese) for me and he seems to be infatuated with dance (Latin, Ballroom etc) which isn't really me.

UrsulaBuffay · 21/04/2014 18:59

The thing I find when meeting up only for sex Don't is that once you're with them there's not much getting out of it, last time I did it something did scare me about it and I realised what a stupid position I was putting myself in. Do take care, everyone

SuperFlyHigh · 21/04/2014 19:03

Dolly - tried to look back through this thread but what was the story re the married man on Tinder. I take it you weren't involved but saw him...

Honestly I'm sure some women are the same (re cheating, on Tinder etc) so it's not JUST because of the ease of sites like OLD etc... but is it me or do more men seem to cheat, cheat online, be sly etc? Or do more women do it too and I'm just naive?

4free · 21/04/2014 19:22

super yeh obvs hes a non starter! lol....i think i was trying to make a point with regards to red flags, everyone i seem to chat to on pof is waving em! its v disheartening, i just want a normal bloke who wants to av a laugh n go out for a drink...bit like mission impossible so far

dontcallmehon22 · 21/04/2014 19:28

I don't think I'm into meeting for sex. I'm behaving oddly because of geeky. That's why I thought it'd be healthier just to contact him rather than behave so weirdly?

Toryboy makes me laugh. Maybe our date on Friday will sort me out?

LittleBlueMouse · 21/04/2014 19:43

Dont I can't imagine meeting someone with the expectation of having sex. You have a photo to go on, what if you meet Geeky-a-like only to find he is wearing shabby clothes and his breath stinks. Plus, I think it's actually a turn off to know in advance what "kinks" people have. You feel uncomfortable with the idea, so you know this isn't right for you, please think very carefully.

I have a date tomorrow with a guy who lives on a boat. I have been talking to him for a while. I feel a bit naughty doing this because I am seeing Mr Contradiction on Thursday.

louby44 · 21/04/2014 19:49

MrTall has been in my thoughts a lot since Saturday. Quite a bit of very flirty texting going on...great fun!

dontcallmehon22 · 21/04/2014 19:50

We're meeting just for a hello to see if we like each other. But it's only sex on the agenda if we do. Then he sent a graphic text which turned me off.. He does look v clean and well groomed. But geeky was v emotional. Not like this guy.

whitedoorbell · 21/04/2014 19:52

littl I have decided fuck it. if these men can't be up front and straight with you then why should you put all your eggs in one basket?

Denton2406 · 21/04/2014 20:01

I think more men seem to cheat, although having said that I was naive in that respect before I got involved with someone who was attached and I didn't know, since then I've read so many forums like this, and everyone is talking abt their OHs cheating. I guess loads of women may do too but we don't hear abt it as much! It is v disheartening tho.

UrsulaBuffay · 21/04/2014 20:09

If he likes you (he's a man - even if he didn't) he'll expect sex then. If you don't? How do you get out of that? I'll admit to having shagged some bloke(s) in the past as a way out or because there was no other way. My choice but fucking awful for the self esteem.

whitedoorbell · 21/04/2014 20:14

jesus wept... all time best message... on a website called single with kids...

"blah blah blah... only interested in girls with no kids or baggage"

I give up

dontcallmehon22 · 21/04/2014 20:14

I guess I know it's wrong. I don't want to do it. Plus he's into all this fetish type stuff. Geeky was quite innocent and easily impressed. This guy has done it all. It's seedy. I can't do it.

whitedoorbell · 21/04/2014 20:17

"dont" please dont do it. you will just feel worse after.
xx

UrsulaBuffay · 21/04/2014 20:19

You can block on tinder, if you have an Iphone you can block on there, you can block on whatsapp. No need to explain to him considering what he's after. Believe me I've spent a year sleeping with men to distract myself or get attention and it's shit, miserable and shit.

4free · 21/04/2014 20:19

dont please listen to your instinct and dont bother wi this guy, hes so not worth it, and i really dont think it'l do you any good at all....i think you should take some time out, let yourself heal, then get back on the horse.

dontcallmehon22 · 21/04/2014 20:24

You're right. I do like Toryboy a little bit and we're out on Friday. He respects me. I just can't quite believe that I loved geeky so much and he brought me so low.

4free · 21/04/2014 20:27

white there really is some idiots out there lol

i cant believe this is what its come to...im flirting with a dorky 22 yr old...im 35..oh the shame

UrsulaBuffay · 21/04/2014 20:29

Respect is my buzz word right now.

4free · 21/04/2014 20:30

yep, im big on respect, its at the top of my list!

whitedoorbell · 21/04/2014 20:39

exactly. show some respect and consideration.

severly fucked off now by baldy. don't know if to ring him and tell him to fuck off and come back when he is ready to be in an adult relationship. probably being bit hard on him. I feel shit... got cold and sore throat and want some tlc. want him to text or ring and say hi how are you. ... suppose he isn't a mind reader.... is Fucking shit.

even delivery driver text to see if I was ok and he only wants sex. at least he has some manners
honestly what shoild I do? should I tell baldy to fuck off or just ignore him and wait to see what he does. I am a v passionate person and am all or nothing. struggling with the more laid back approach to be honest.
but where did all that passion get me before? married to a violent and abusive arsehole who physically and emotionally bullied me and my children. .. so you can see why I am questioning my own judgement. is this just normal not to rush in? exh moved in with me after a week.

I am obviously hugely insecure

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