The Dating Thread 73.

[MadeMan]

Hello and welcome.

Tinder is weird, I've seen the husband of an old school friend on there and worked out they've separated & she's kept it quiet on fbk (checked & they're no longer friends on there) made me feel very awkward re whether to message her to see if she's ok or not. I didn't as I'd have had to say how I'd worked it out

I know what you mean, I am only assuming from FB they are married, but maybe they hv split, although the fact he deleted himself from Tinder or blocked me this morning kind of gives it away. Anyway, onto the next one.....lol! Meant to be meeting a guy on Weds night, said he was free, I asked where he wants to meet and no reply so far, what is it with these guys?

I hate that...there seems to be a host of men (and women Im sure) who like to just text. I currently have a very casual arrangement with someone and he ignored my request asking if he was free over the weekend. Next thing, I get a very friendly text! Last week he sent me a barrage of 'sexts' saying he couldnt wait to see me! Fickle or what?!

Maybe a lot of people out there (men and women) are very bored and just want the equivalent of an old fashioned 'pen pal'; a text pal if you will.

Is there a sort of relationship timeline? Was wondering what most people would expect after knowing someone 2 months.

shy I always try and meet up within 2 weeks, sooner if I can. 2 months is too long, you begin to imagine this person and then when you meet them they aren't what you thought they would be like.

No sign off Mr Dartplayer whom I was supposed to meet last night. I knew something was amiss there. Well he's been deleted from my phone. Not interested in time wasters.

MrTall and I have been doing a lot of texting/talking. He's very sweet and I'm really looking forward to seeing him again.

I looked at the price of condoms in Tesco £9.98 for 12!!! that's 83p a shag!!! Not good if I'm looking at condoms.

Louby....I had an embarrassing condom moment recently. In Sainsbury's they are kept in large transparent plastic boxes. I had to carry it to the checkout.
Ive now discovered the local walk in sexual health clinic gives them out for free :0)

well no hotties on pof worth messaging for me......did get chatting to one guy, all ok till he mentioned an ex wife who'd moved to other side of country to get away from him, and out of his 2 kids only one will speak to him ..idk, could be innocent stuff but its put me off....i seem to be seeing red flags with most people i talk to, i dont know if its cos im hypersensitive or over cautious...anyone else struggle with this?

fifty congrats and good luck with the new job

white yeh i struggle with the childcare thing too..although i havent been on an actual date yet...i need to find a babysitter, i rely on my grandmother at moment but shes in her 70's (v fit) so dont like asking her too much.

Louby Oh I met him a couple of days after the first message. I meant more how often would people be expecting to see each other, how long before having the exclusive chat, how long until meeting parents or friends. A couple of friends have commented that things are going fast but I don't really have much dating experience.

4free I think I see red flags everywhere whether they are there or not.

wdb flora He said he had only come on Tinder as a friend had suggested it. Probably a bit nervous! I'm going to give him a chance though as it isn't a bad way to look at OLD. Start as friends and see how it goes!

Oh denton be prepared for a lot of that! But I agree, MM shouldnt even be on there, bet it gave him a thrill until he realised 'Oh, Im married!' Loser! But it's not his wife's fault...

muchtooshy After 2 months, I would expect to meet him - its too long otherwise, and gets awkward

4free too many red flags IMHO

Fiftyandfab good luck on the job front. Your updates on the messages have made me laugh.

Dont Do you feel that there really is unfinished business with Geeky? Maybe you do have to go back and get hurt some more, by the time he has finished, you won't believe any of us when we say you're too good for him. I think you idealised this man and believe he is too good for you. That isn't the same as love.

I had a weird email from POF asking me to fill in my profile. I though WTF I don't have a profile. Oh yes I do...but how it got there is a complete mystery. So I went to the site, requested to change password, logged in but it won't allow me to delete the profile.

I'm still in touch with Mr Contradiction, he isn't seeing the other one "who can offer me more time" I like him, he likes me but he tells me "you will hurt me" I swing from thinking, he can't live without me (I am complicated and very focused on work) to, he can't live without me at least until he meets "Miss Home-bod" I think I shall need to instigate a serious chat with him...I am quite clueless about how I do this??! any suggestions welcome.

Denton to be honest I wouldn't waste your energy on him and then it gives him ammunition to think oh she's a bit crazy or whatever suits him.... I still laugh at Kent Lad calling me crazy cakes and then saying I'd spat venom at him.... well this was after he hoped I'd found peace and I responded (it was true) "Don't patronise me!".

4free - errr well I'd not be mad keen on the one whose ex-wife had moved miles etc...

Louby Mr Tall sounds nice and forget about Dartplayer.

So far I'm messaging the Dance guy and a Spanish/Mexican investment banker who's given it up for now and is studying Kung Fu. yes really!

d'you know what ladies. .. considering this game we are all trying to play is online dating you wouldn't have thought it would be so fecking difficult would you??
do you not sometimes just feel like saying wtf is wrong with you idiots. .. too picky... too married. ..too emotionally retarded. .. to bloody wierd

we should set up our own dating site and vet all prospective members first. I personally would pay for that to think even half the time wasters had already been weeded out!

If we weeded out all of the time wasters we would probably find ourselves fighting over the remaining two men.

white...I agree and Mouse, you are probably right.
Its my lack of success on ODing which has drawn me to my ex...thinking "well, maybe he wasnt that bad!".
I need to learn to be happy on my own. Since the ahe of 16 and now almost 42, this is the first time Ive been without anyone special.

little that was funny.

how many of us are there on this thread? at least a dozen... it would be war!!!

Yes we could have part shares in the last two decent ones, I'll have the top half !

is it just me or does everyone feel the same.... am desperate to know exactly what baldy is thinking about me and him... not if he thinks this is it forever but what he actually thinks.

is that wierd? it drives you mad trying to second guess these men and read between the lines of what they are saying. ..or not saying.

am in being unreasonable to wonder or am I supposed to be content with the fact that he wants to see me again and assume all is well.... v frustrated.

mr delivery driver just rang me. I told him about baldy and that I will let him know what happens. but he is very direct... he is such a player but at least you know where you are with that he said
"white I had a dream about you last night. can I come and see you to see if you are as good in real life"
don't get me wrong thos would never be true love but the point is that you know where you are with that.
is it only players who are like this and more normal ones are less direct????
god I need a distraction

ffs another message from some guy looking for a relationship where the mutual interests are weight lifting and creative writing. .. give me strength

white I feel like you, how nice it would be to meet a straight up, honest, emotionally intelligent man who can express himself clearly. I do wonder, years ago everything was so different. Guys rang, sent gifts, picked you up, arranged dates, called after and made it clear they wanted to see you. Now it's all very casual arrangements, ad-hoc last minute, lots of pauses between dates and second guessing their intentions. Is this because of OD or is it because guys are mutating into either game players or men frightened of rejection. I think men are more frightened of rejection because they think women have won the war on equality.

Hi from my caravan! We made it! My 8 year old is excellent at map reading and located our caravan. little I don't know, honestly on the whole geeky thing. I truly don't. And I don't know if I'll send the message. I just don't know how he could say those things and then cut me dead.

Just wrote a section on red flags in my book. It was illuminating anyway.

I'm on date 2 with Toryboy on Friday. And the week after I'm meeting perverted geekyalike. Not sure if that's a good idea....

Yeah you're right, I'm not gonna waste time by emailing his wife, it's not her fault. I've calmed done now, this morning I was just peed off someone was trying to take me for a mug again....but if I was totally naive I would have met him for a drink and not even thought to ask if he was married, it's only cos I had a bad experience and I feel I can't trust anyone, that I start asking questions!! What a dickhead though! Think we should deffo set up our own dating agency!

I think our own dating agency would be an excellent idea. Some of the numpties we've dated wouldn't get through the door!