H has just held me down by the throat

[mrsdoubtfiresspecs]

Scared. Everything's in my name in including debt. We have 2 dc. I have no where to turn. What should I do?

I have written this before on mumsnet- No-one who leaves a violent man ever thinks that they should have given it longer. They wish they had left sooner, and not notched up even more time with a man who will never change. Sadly violence almost always escalates as each boundry is breached. I am particularly worried that your DH has so little control over his temper that he did this to you in front of your little children. My friend's sil was killed by her husband after years of abuse. Do not give this man any more of your very precious life time.

You don't need to apologise to anyone OP.

At a guess, 2-3 years is that the time until your youngest starts school so you can then get work during the week without hours of childcare? It might have felt like it doesn't always 'pay' to go back into work when childcare is so expensive. When H is gone the weight of doing all the housework and shopping and admin on top of childcare falls to you (if it doesn't already).

As your family live abroad I assume that apart from DSis, you are used to coping without them being involved in your day-to-day life, did they give you a hard time about moving to the UK to start afresh with H? Is any assistance from them out of the question?

Earlier you said
I can't believe I've put myself into this situation.

It builds up slowly and you probably hoped there was still some kernel of goodness left in the man you thought you knew. But he crossed a line on Saturday and your best bet is to seek help from outside agencies.

"I can't believe I've put myself into this situation."

OP you didn't. He put you in this situation.

When you met, he didn't say "When we have children together, I'm going to start physically abusing you. I may accidentally kill you one day btw. Another drink?" did he?

None of this is your fault. He has chosen to do this to you, you haven't chosen to have it done to you and you didn't do anything to make this happen. Please believe that.

What happens in attempted murder cases like this? Is MNHQ duty bound to report it?

With the current statistics on wife killing per week, there is a distinct possibility that it could happen to an Mner.

I don't know how we can protect her. This is too awful for words.

attempted murder?

and no,mnhq cant do anything

mrsdoubtfiresspecs you didn't put yourself in this situation, your H did. None of this is your doing.

All I can offer is hope that you find a way to escape, and the knowledge that (from my own experience of having been a child in a household where there was DV), by leaving you wouldn't just be doing the right thing for yourself, but for your DCs, too.

Please, if you can, come and tell us how you are.

Your children wont be on the child protection register if you leave - they wont need to be, if you stay, they will. They must have been petrified poor things. What an utter cunt.

What makes you think you can survive another 2-3 years with this man? why do you want to stay? if its because of the debts, that can get sorted, you can get advice and help to sort it out. If you can prove he co-erced you into taking out the loans/run up credit card debt you may well be able to get it written off. Please take legal advice on this.

He "controlled" himself this time - don't think for one minute this was him being out of control. If he loses control, you are in trouble. Please please leave and get your children away from him.