Inviting a Crossdresser on your Hen Night

[rachelmonday1]

I'm actually a guy that enjoys crossdressing and am very fortunate to have a number of female friends, one of whom is getting married and has invited me to join her friends on her Hen Night. I don't look too bad when I'm dressed as Rachel and often go out with the girls with no problems.

I'm happily married and my wife understands the "Rachel" side of me, but thinks it's odd that a girl would invite a crossdresser on her Hen Night.

Any views out there?

[Fairenuff]

Ok, so your wife has no problem with it, you have no problem with it, not sure what the purpose of your post is?

Is it odd for a man to go on a hen night? I would say, yes, it's unusual but not unheard of.

Is that it?

[Sollers]

How is it sexist to want to wear high heels or a nice dress?

I would say it's more sexist to believe that only women have the right to wear those clothes.

[MoominIsEightNinthsManatee]

Why is it sexist for a man to wear stereotypically feminine clothes, but not for a woman?


Rachel Just seen your pictures on your profile, definitely go brunette! You look great.

[Quodlibet]

Offred, I understand your misgivings about cross dressers often aspiring to a very reductive version of 'femininity' which many actual women avoid or find repressive. However I think you are oversimplifying things to state that a cross dresser who does so is necessarily sexist - one persons's prison is another person's set of wings and that's no bad thing. If you take the stance that all gender (as oppose to biological sex) is a performance anyway, then there's an element to it that is akin to dressing in 1950s garb and going to a swing night. Doesn't mean you want it to be the 50s. I think there's a whole lot of nuance in cross dressing culture which you are missing - it doesn't follow that men who dress up in that version of extreme performed 'female' identity (which you can argue is a male-promoted construct anyway) therefore endorse that identity as a reality for women. Have you seen the documentary 'Paris is burning' which gets inside trans 'House' culture in the 1980s? Really fascinating and worth a watch to expand your mind about trans culture.

[Lottapianos]

Offered, I agree totally with your description of hen nights. The whole concept makes me shudder and its one of those things I can't quite believe Still go on in 2014.

[Ivehearditallnow]

I honestly don't know what you're on about, seems like you're just trying to pick a row over nothing.

I was referring to cross dressing as a compulsion/need - not sexism (by the way, they arent the same thing!).

There are loads of cross dressers who wear jeans, etc. My mum works with a man who wears a top-and-trousers to work. Don't think I've ever seen him in a skirt or dress.

Let people where what they want, bloody hell. Concentrate on relaxing and having some fun.

[Hoppinggreen]

The hen can invite who she wants but I personally see hen nights as for ladies and stag nights for men.
However, if this hen doesn't see it like that and wants you there then it's not weird

[Offred]

It's not, it's not the clothes it's the beliefs; that wearing those clothes makes you a woman/ a man look like a woman. And yes there's no reason why a woman with those beliefs wasn't buying into sexism too. Of course women can be sexist and participate in their own oppression but a woman dressing how society tells her is a little different ethically from a man telling women how they should dress which is what you do when you are 'crossdressing'

[Ivehearditallnow]

I agree totally with your description of hen nights. The whole concept makes me shudder and its one of those things I can't quite believe Still go on in 2014.

Jesus Christ.

Not all hen nights are women dressed up 'girly' and acting like fishwives.
Not all cross dressers wear glittery stuff/OTT.

Get a life!

[MistressDeeCee]

OP are you the only man that's been invited? Im hoping you weren't invited for shock horror/entertainment purposes. Depending on what format the hen night is taking you will be pretty visible, won't you? Im in no way against men cross-dressing, I find it fascinating in a way and it wouldn't bother me if a guy I was with, was into it. So Im not asking the question for horrible reasons, as it were. Just that even if the friends you are with are understanding, others you come across on the night may not be as understanding as they are. Its not impossible that you may get some adverse reactions so hopefully you have strategies for dealing with that. This world isnt as 'PC' as some like to pretend it is.

I do also feel re. the 'sexist caricature of a woman' that crossdressers often present. Having said that Im sure not all cross-dressers are like that and wouldn't like to assume that you are

[LordPalmerston]

Lol at "salient in my beliefs "

[Offred]

Men who wear clothes they like are not crossdressers. Men who want to be women or feel they were born in the wrong body are not crossdressers. Cross dressing and describing yourself as a crossdresser is actually quite a specific thing denoted by the name - cross dresser

[rachelmonday1]

Fairenuff:
In essence, yes, that's it! I was only trying to sound out the general opinion of a wide range of women, as although I want to go (and will) there are 15 girls going and I was attempting to get a very broad view of whether many of you would think the situation. Nothing more than that!

MoominIsEightNinthsManatee: Thankyou!! :)

Quodlibet: Very well put! :)

[Ivehearditallnow]

FFS. Get some friends.

[Ivehearditallnow]

Off I mean, not you Rachel. x

[Offred]

Why don't you come up with some kind of argument other than 'don't think, have wine, you must be a loser'...

[2rebecca]

Would a woman be invited to a stag do just because she wore jeans and a tshirt? I don't see why a bloke putting on a dress and some slap suddenly makes him "feminine". I'm with those hating the stereotyping of women that goes with cross dressing.
People can wear what they want but to me a bloke in a frock is still a bloke and I don't see why he should be going to a women only event as he's still not a woman if other blokes aren't.

[Sollers]

So it's just the terminology that you object to Offred?

[badbaldingballerina123]

I was wondering the same thing as mistress about the reason for the invite. Is your wife not invited ?

Offred I don't quite understand what your saying about the sexism involved in cross dressing . Are you referring to the over the top way they dress ?

[Ivehearditallnow]

My 'argument' is - go out, wear what you like (and F every one who thinks your weird or sexist) and enjoy yourself. Life's too short.

You're the one getting all about it. It's quite obvious you have a bee in your bonnet about your previous partner and 'cross dressing'.

It's quite sad tbh. You're pissing over OP's night out and I'm not sure why.

[Offred]

No, it's the sexism. To be a crossdresser requires you have sexist beliefs...

[rachelmonday1]

MistressDeeCee: Yes I'm the only guy. I know 5 of the girls going and we've been out many times before. There are another 10 who I don't know and you're absolutely right, in that one or more may have a problem with me. I always make it clear to whoever I'm out with, that if anyone has a problem with me, then I'll quite happily make my excuses and leave. In no way do I wish to impose myself on anyone or to spoil anyones fun and, thankfully, that has never happened yet.

[Minnieisthedevilmouse]

Have a great night Rachel.

:)
Xxx

[Minnieisthedevilmouse]

I'm dressed as a guy today. Jeans tshirt and converse....

[Ivehearditallnow]

Bollocks.

Sexism is - 'you seem very angry love, are you on your period?'.

A man in a dress (OR TROUSERS - yes, men wearing trousers designed for women happens too) isn't sexist.