Inviting a Crossdresser on your Hen Night

[rachelmonday1]

I'm actually a guy that enjoys crossdressing and am very fortunate to have a number of female friends, one of whom is getting married and has invited me to join her friends on her Hen Night. I don't look too bad when I'm dressed as Rachel and often go out with the girls with no problems.

I'm happily married and my wife understands the "Rachel" side of me, but thinks it's odd that a girl would invite a crossdresser on her Hen Night.

Any views out there?

Think it was LRD's analogy about blacking up?

That's the best comparison. White people blacking up is so offensive precisely because white people were reducing the black people to the colour of their skin and ridiculing them. In the context of the enslavement of black people by white people it is horrifying.

I feel quite angry about this expectation that we must tolerate men similarly ridiculing women for the same reasons tbh.

I have no idea Kim. I've never been to one. But in answer to your previous post, it's the latter - the need to transform or adapt their entire personality to that of a 'woman', in a very exaggerated way.

I'll admit it doesn't provoke a reaction like Offred's. But as I said, I've always been a bit thingy about it and have never been able to articulate why. I'm not offended by it really, it's more provoked an eye-roll reaction.

There is a man in a local store where I live. Clearly a man, but he dresses as a woman (without the boobs or high heels, with long hair and a touch of makeup). There is nothing about his behaviour that is stereotypically female (or male for that matter). He is polite, chatty, speaks in his normal voice etc. I have no idea about his sexual orientation, I don't think he is trans as his 5 o'clock shadow and masculine voice indicate he isn't taking hormone therapy. I think he is simply a man who likes to wear dresses and makeup. Fine. Whatever floats your boat.

I'll admit I did like the movie Priscilla, Queen of the Dessert, though.

If they are calling themselves crossdressers then no they aren't. They are liking them because they help them ape women.

Otherwise it would just be wearing clothes wouldn't it not crossdressing - dressing across gender, accepting and reinforcing that clothes have gender.

There isn't an equivalent Kim because men are not figures for ridicule.

I do feel all these points have been made adequately before though, people really should read the actual thread...

Really fairenuff? Where?

I think the reason I'm struggling with all this is because Offred's own personal experience is very different to my own. I quote below:-

I can't leave the house without people making comments about me. In pubs I have been grabbed by men repeatedly, shouted at in the street. Been told I shouldn't bother doing law because it isn't accepting of women. In the political thins I go to there is constant "fun" ridiculing of 'nagging wives' and treating of women differently by judging their appearance. I've given up hobbies in the past because people could not relate to me as a person rather than a woman (either mother or some kind of sex object). A man a couple of weeks ago tricked me into a date and then spent a long time getting me to justify in detail why I wouldn't date him because obviously me being a woman all I'm interested in is a man whose interested in me.

I've been a lawyer for 15 years and no-one has ever told me that the law isn't accepting for women, it's quite the opposite these days IMO. I've never been grabbed in the street or had people shout at me. I've never had to give up hobbies because I felt pigeon-holed as a mother or a sex-object. I have just never personally experienced the sort of appalling sexism that Offred obviously has. Maybe if I had my views on all this would be different.

Bragmatic, not sure about the chaps analogy. If a cross-dresser went out in high heels, a dress, with swishy hair and drinking white wine then he'd be dressing the same as I do at a party. I wouldn't feel like he was taking the piss out of me. I feel sorry for men that their choice of clothes is so restricted tbh. Men in my office get stuck in suits all weathers, no shorts for them but us women can keep cool in dresses and skirts. My DS has very limited options for his school uniform (ie trousers or shorts) whereas the girls have loads of choice of different style skirts, different style dresses etc. I KNOW that people keep saying that this isn't about clothes but it is. A cross-dresser is only a cross-dresser because of their clothes.

waits to be told I'm still missing the point ie failing to agree with the nay-sayers

Let us help turn your fantasy into reality.

Is there an options to have stomach cramps and bleed? Now that would be an impressive reality!

Male Crossdressers crossdress because they believe in gender stereotypes to the extent they can't reconcile characteristics and interests in themselves which they consider to fall under 'feminine'. They are worse in terms of promoting/adhering to sexism than transexual men because transexual men are so badly affected by sexism they are trying to obliterate the 'masculine'. Crossdressers however are maintaining the 'masculine' as dominant and playing at having a 'female' persona...

IMO

A cross-dresser is only a cross-dresser because of their clothes.

So you think that clothes have gender do you rocky?

See, most other people have said that people should be able to wear what they want without having to pretend to change gender. Interesting.

At home I wear jeans and flats and no makeup

And do you behave differently too? Do you stuff a pair of socks down your trousers and deepen your voice? Or are you just, you know, wearing the clothes you choose to wear.

Men can wear whatever they like. They choose not to because 'women's clothes' are considered lower status and are impractical.

My daughters are only allowed skirts as uniform at school still.

Earlier in the thread, there was a post which clearly said it's not misogyny, against women, but it is sexist, because it is perpetuating stereotypes of how women should look.

IME with law and politics and medicine you are ok as long as you are not identified as being female. It helps if you laugh along with sexism and don't have children.

Society doesn't stop them in any way IME. I don't think you can compare the restrictions placed on women's dress/appearance with men's, it's a bit insulting tbh.

And yes it is sexism because it is as much about views about what men are as it is about views about what women are.

clothes do have gender associations. And even though people say that people should wear what they want, it's not that easy

It's not that easy at the moment because it's not current fashion. But in biblical times all men wore dresses the same as women. They were all called robes.

They still do in many cultures. It's just not fashionable in 2014 England (a small slice of time and space) but there's nothing to say that men can't change that if they want to.

Women changed their dress and fought for the right to wear trousers, why shouldn't men do the same? Women have been very successful but they had strong motivation.

The motivation for OP is not so strong because he can 'play' at being a woman and then slip back into his comfortable male role whenever he wants to. He is unlikely to make changes but I do think they will come over time.

The 80's was a great time for men to experiment with clothes, hair and make up - Boy George springs to mind. The New Romantics wore lots of lace and frills - Adam Ant is another one.

OP does not want to dress as a man in a skirt though. He wants to 'cross gender' for one night, which would be a more applicable phrase than cross dress as it's really not about the clothes.

How do you know? This point has been made before. I do with you would read the thread. I'm not saying anything new.