The Dating Thread 72

[LizzieBelle]

Welcome

Meeting his mum and sister on Friday - eek! My mum has just told me I should get his mum something? Really? I hadn't really thought about it as been so busy planning Legoland!!

MyChildDoesntNeedSleep really interesting what you say about the LoA and relationships and I'm starting to fully get why mine have been so unsuccessful as of late. I do try not to think negatively but almost always do and I thoroughly believe that this is what subconsciously causes men to back off.

Santa try not to worry. It will only cause you stress. Worry will lead to more worry which will lead to more worry....Try to occupy yourself with something else and then your mind will follow. Don't call him. Step back. Be positive. The 3 months mark can be a time where men pull back but I just don't think this is what's happening now with him.

I also don't think it sounds like anything is wrong, Santa.

Just got back from date with civil service guy, we will call him Westminster boy. He works for the department for education. Nice guy. Paid at least 100 for the meal. Total gentleman. Worth a second date - he asked me out at the end of the date. Rich and attractive. Got home ans texted toryboy.

Tbh there's a wall up for me that any man will struggle to get through. I don't really care

girlie I've just come on with a similar quandry!

It's occurred to me that I ought to take his mum a gift as I'm staying in her house for a few days/nights!

I think it ought to be something very typically English.

Any suggestions?

Sorry I went to sleep early last night.

jarlin it's sad to hear that happened to you. In a way my situation is similar. My ex was very extrovert, flirty, loved women , a show off really and abusive and couldn't be trusted
Now Bricky is a lot quieter and appears the total opposite in character and I think that's why I've stuck with him because I feel safer, I hope I'm right.
I am seeing him over Easter we are going to stay with my sister for a couple of nights by the coast.

What about slow burner.? Are you seeing him when he gets back from working away.?

girlie hope all goes well. I suppose it's a nice idea to get his mum something, must admit though I didn't get Brickys mum anything when I met her

snappy and mychild I can kind of relate to the process of starting to think negatively/ man backing off thing. It's happened before. I think that's why we often say " why do all the men I don't fancy/ don't want, want me? But the ones I do want don't want me. " it's vibes we give out. What to do about it I've no idea really. Bricky was keen because I wasn't really bothered and it's all very relaxed so I wasn't giving out those vibes. Now I'm starting to fall for him it's getting more difficult to control my thinking

dont thanks I'm holding on to the fact everyone on here thinks I shouldn't be worried and all is fine :)

Reporting in from my date!

Had a really good evening. Mr Conductor is funny, good to talk to and has a lovely city centre flat which is positively full of musical instruments!

He wants to see me again, texted me quite a lot last night while I was on my way home. I'm going to kill my friend for not introducing me to him six months ago!

Im still worrying about my Saturday date. Whether the distance thing is a real problem....also after emailing and texting since January and just meeting now....worried it will be an anti climax. I really like him as a person and just worrying the physical attraction wont be there.
Also feeling sad about my ex, the childrens father. Really missing the good times and sometimes feel Im forcing myself to date. Very confused week for me.

Sounds perfect Lucy how exciting!

flora I know what you mean. I suppose all you can do is take it slowly and give yourself time. I'm thinking of the quote: 'the past is a foreign country. They do things differently there.' Who knows what amazing things are in your future.

I enjoyed date with Westminster boy last night. It was nice to be spoiled and treated like a lady. I quite like having my options open. I'm finding men respond well to the fact that I genuinely don't care that much. I must've given off desperate vibes before.

flora I know exactly what you mean about ex partners. But these relationships end for a reason!

Many of my friends said I should just be content to be on my own and let a relationship just happen...alright for them to say, sat at home with their lovely fella's. I don't meet any men through work and rarely go out 'on the pull' - so how I was going to meet someone?

I decided fate wasn't going to knock on my door and that I had to take control of my own destiny!

I don't want to do online dating but it's the only way! At the moment I'm finding it all very amusing and getting lots of interest!

lucy your evening sounds wonderful!

Jarlin I had counselling about a year ago and it was the best thing I ever did. I requested it via my GP for something else, but we discussed DS's dad amongst other things, and it really helped me to get my head straight. I came out of it almost a different person. I'm definitely much more positive these days and would definitely recommend it. If someone cheats on you, the 'reason' is with them, not you. Cheating is a choice that someone makes - they could just as easily make the choice not to.

Lucy Mr Conductor sounds ace, good for you!

Louby I don't want to do OD either but needs must. What sites are you using? POF is crap for me at the minute.

Softkitty, I am also finding pof awful. I'm meeting some lovely guys on match.

If you were going to take a quintessentially English gift to a woman in her 70s who'd never been here what would you give?

I think someone is just boasting now...

He sounds lovely!

Flora I think your feelings are understandable. On all accounts. Just go, enjoy yourself and see what happens.

dont you'll be presenting as a bit of a challenge now. They're going to be trying very hard to impress

Folk

How about a gift selection of teas or jams (include marmalade in that) or some quintessentially English smellies like those Cath Kidston packs with little flowers all over (john Lewis had a table full of the stuff the other day). You could go for a pretty cup and saucer - maybe the boyfriend could help you choose what she'd like. Avoid fruit cake - my lot all hate it! Our biscuits are pretty amazing too and some Scottish shortbread goes down a treat. Perhaps a homemade hamper/basket with some goodies and an English tea towel - it's personal and you can hedge your bets. Maybe you could throw in some homemade biscuits?

Don't

What a nightmare start to the day... Is that serious? It's like something Kim Jong Un would decree.

Totally. There's more, but I don't want Westminster boy to be identifiable. But total eye opener!

In fact I'll get that deleted as it sounds a bit 1984 from what he said!

Long time lurker on this thread and put off OD by a lot of the tales here! BUT, perversely, just decided to join Match and see what it throws my way! I figured 77 for 6 months' membership is merely the cost of a night out...so I'll hold on tight and (hopefully) enjoy the ride

= pounds

I like match so far, fifty. Don't be put off. I've had my heart broken but it's been an incredible journey. Life is for living!

Fingers crossed dont...have already had 4 views in about 15 mins...think I need to expand profile a bit though, it's a bit economical but I really couldn't be arsed!

fifty I was on Match, and only on Match. I didn't like the idea of any of the others.

I was pretty happy with it overall. No cock photos at least!

I've been on Match for 2 months (forgot to cancel after first month) I've had 322 views and not one date. I find Match really frustrating. All I get are 60 yr old bald, fat men winking at me. All the decent guys just ignore me?? Weird!

I've had more luck on POF and one date off Tinder but seeing my counsellor on there was an eye opener!!

I can't stand Michael Gove, I want to punch the TV everytime I see him.