The Dating Thread 72

[LizzieBelle]

Welcome

Agh so now scientist man has asked for a full length picture? Said "not that it matters at all, just curious". Is this really how it should go? Can he not just wait until Saturday?

scarey it's a horrible feeling isn't it. I'm feeling so down today but can't put my finger on why. Well no that's not true, I know why and it's because I have this feeling of dread that it's all going to go wrong, that he will get bored and I will be hurt again. It's because it's happened to me so many times. It has been sparked by the fact that he's not seeing me all week until Friday which is unusual and I'm thinking he should be missing me more not less as time goes on

I want this to work out as he's so lovely, so far anyway. We have a 2 week holiday booked in June I'm even obsessing that he regrets having booked it. His Dad said to me on Sunday when he was out of earshot " it's seems to be going well.? And your getting on ok? He seems quite keen on you"

I don't know what to think I'm getting paranoid about it all. I'm so worried he's cooling off, that always happens to me when I fall for them

santa it is a nightmare when you start feeling insecure and reading a meaning into every tiny thing
I have no idea how you stop yourself. .. if you figure it out please let me know! !
hope yr ok

I never even fancied him to start with, he just seemed like a nice guy and someone who was good company. Now look what's happened I've fallen for him and here's where my personality changes and I become miserable :(

santa I juat looked back over yr posts. he seems very keen to be having weekends away and having booked a holiday.
is there something else bugging you which is making your insecurities worse?
maybe you just need to be kind to yourself and not over think it...although I know that is easier said than done x

white the only thing I can put my finger on is I seem to be missing him more and more when I'm not with him and I don't like the feeling because it means I'm getting attached. I'm feeling put out this week because he left on Monday morning and I won't see him till Friday when he picks me up to go away. Why doesn't he miss me more? Or am I being unfair?

Also some of the things I thought meant he was quite serious about me have turned out to not mean that at all. I wasn't the only gf he's taken home. He took the last woman he met online there, so actually it means nothing

Also we booked this holiday 6 weeks after meeting because I think we were both desperate to get away having not done so for a few years and having nobody to go with, it's not because he's keen on me. I only wish it did mean that. This weekend we are going to my sisters he seemed happy to do that but now I'm thinking what if he's got regrets and feels it's moving too fast and getting too heavy and that's why he's backing off

BateKush I would be put off by someone that seems so obsessed with physical appearance tbh. And by the way, size 12/14 isn't 'slightly above normal' - it IS normal. He's already making you worried about your weight. I don't like him. Sorry!

awww. you sound really fed up.

please try not to over think it. treat yourself ti something nice or arrange to meet a friend for lunch or something. anything to take your mind off it and keep busy.
trust me I am the worst for following this advice. I caved in half an hour ago and rang baldy although I was determined to let him make the next move. it's so hard. part if your instinct is to be honest and not play games which is kind of what playing hard to grt feels like to me. and part of your instinct is that we all know men think differently to women and they also don't like to be crowded.
nothing more constructive to say other than let's help each other to stay strong and share our insecurities so we can put them behind us

Hello all

As others always say, this thread moves so quickly! I've had an incredibly busy week or so so I'll read properly later. I still look at other threads on here, but the dating one requires a bit more investment I feel!

So...

I'm still seeing TheManI'mSeeing, although now I have to call him my boyfriend. He's told me a few times now that he loves me, but doesn't say it all the time, which I'm quite happy about. He spent the weekend at my house and met several of my friends. I felt comfortable with him in my house, which is a massive deal for me!, he told me he thought my friends were lovely and it is obvious they think a lot of me. Some of my friends are older gentlemen who didn't quite do the "take care of her, or else..." bit, but did tell him I was lovely, he was lucky to have me and not to let me go! (Not embarrassing at all!) He was very gracious and said he knew he was lucky and had no intention of letting me go.

From things he has said, it is obvious he has told a number of his friends about me, and not just the ones he works with and the ones I have and will meet, but others too.

I feel a lot more comfortable and a lot more relaxed about him now. I have no idea how long it will last or what it will become and, to be honest, I'm fine with that. I'm not looking for The One or to settle down/get married/have more children. If it happens, then it will happen because it's 'right', but it's not my ultimate goal or anything.

I think he's in a similar place.

Although he has quizzed me quite a lot on whether/when I'm getting divorced... and when when I wasn't feeling well last week, he asked me if I was pregnant with a smiley face and some kisses and not the "You're not pregnant, are you?!" I had from another man I was seeing when I wasn't feeling well...

Our trip is next week, so I'm guessing I'll know more then.

"Hello X. It's Farce... ;-). What are you up to? x"

Right, I need help. I need to calm down! I need tips on how to "play it cool". Because we have met twice - both times ended up in bed, both times had a great time. But i have been the one to instigate meeting up both times (although he did ask me to go out in my home town with his friend but i couldnt manage).

I stayed at his on sat and then he drove me home sunday. He was the first to message me which was later in the day. I want to see him again. I know i should wait a few days. But did i? No, I asked later the same day. I did ask and he is coming over on friday.. great! But... i want to know how he feels, where he thinks this may go. Because i really feel like we could be great in a relationship.

So... if he comes (i say if becayse both of us have cancelled on each other before)...is third date ok to ask or should i wait a while?

I also keep thinking about him, butterflies in my tummy.

I dont want to fall hard :/

Bramble can you just ask how he thinks it's going?
I know it's hard when you don't want to hear anything negative. It sounds as though it's going well though

TheFarce I would think 'are you 14?' And bin

I do want to ask and i probably will when im drunk on friday but i don't want to ask and scare him off if you know what I mean? I dont want to be like "oh well i think its going grreaatt!" for him to say "oh i want to take it slow".

I logged on to POF the last few days and it says he has been "online this week" so thats a good sign, if he logs on it will say i was on today!!

This is how its gone, I'll call him M.
Jan - i messaged M - no reply
March whilst on another date i got an "M want to meet you" e-mail.
I got home from the date i was on and messaged M saying something along the lines of "so do you want to meet or not?"
He replied saying yes why the hell not.
We met and it was really good fun. Ended up at mine and he was chatty in the am and said he would like to see me again.
April - M then asked if i wanted to go out with him and his mate in my town.
I was away on a course so couldnt go.
I then messaged him to meet. We agreed on two weeks ago. The day we were to meet he messaged saying he was ill and he promised it was not an excuse. I had sent him a txt later in the week saying he could just tell me if he didnt want to meet me again, he said he knew that but he did.We rescheduled for this past saturday when i went to his house and had another really good night. He was holding my hand whilst watching tv etc, in the morning we were kissing and it was just nice.
M drove me home. He messaged first - just general stuff.
I then asked if he wanted to come over on Friday which he has said yes to.

He has told me he discussed me with his colleagues/friend (maybe 3) on the fri night.

He's lovely though, i love everything about him!

Is it a FWB thing Bramble?

Does that mean Friend With Benefit?

I don't think so, i dont think he is like that. Obviously cant be 100%

The other thing - which is pretty irresponsible - is that when we had sex we didnt use a condom. I have the implant but I don't know if i told him although i think i would have the first time (but i was pretty pished so cant remember urgh)
So i was thinking as a way to ask how he thinks its going is to ask if he is dating other people to because i dont want to get an std or something?

bramble have no advice but know exactly how you feel. now arranged 4th date and I am dying to ask what he thinks is going on! !!

re sex with no condom... I am guessing most will say you should use one for protection against std etc... but what is the routine for using condoms etc? I have a coil so only use ccondom in case of std... but how do you bring up conversation basically asking have u got a std?
I had a friend who made new boyfriend go to clinic and wouldn't shag him without proof from the doctor.

used a condom yesterday for first time in years and was fine.. at least no mess lol!!
apologies if tmi!

farce I got message today asking if I want to meet up to play tiddly winks

"can I tickle u with my smudger" or something. .. wtf?????

Yes, friends with benefits. I just think he should be trying to 'woo' you instead of just going round your house or you going round his. That's not me being po-faced about it, if you're ok with it, it's all good! I just wish blokes would take women out early on in the relationship instead of 'coming round'.

white - it's hell isn't it?!
Hope yours works out!

My problem is that i have been too drunk to remember to ask about it (puttin gon a condom). He has too. I think what i will say is that if he is dating other people then we will 100% be using condoms and also getting a check before anything more happens.
I don't think he's like that though (to be dating more than one at a time) so hopefully it will all be ok.
I prefer no condom really.

talisa - well he did give me the option of going out in the city or round to his for movie and takeaway and just to chill and talk. The problem is if we go to the city the last train home is pretty early and so thats why i said yeh id go to his. The first night we met out and ended up at mine hehe