Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 ··· 30 31 32 ··· 39 40

Original poster

The Dating Thread 72

999 replies

LizzieBelle · 30/03/2014 11:10

Welcome

OP posts:

FloraSpreadableMacDonald · 15/04/2014 01:45

Hi girls n boys...sorry not been around. Having an OD break. However, 2 of my contacts from pof have been in touch. Ive got a date on Saturday with Mr Outdoors and some of you might remember Mr Number4...well he contacted me 2 weeks ago and has asked me out for lunch. His circumstances were tragic but my patience has paid off and he seems more ready. We shall see...I really fancy him lol.

Santaclaws · 15/04/2014 06:36

Hi everyone, sorry not been on in a while and I can't believe how quickly the thread moves. I've lost track of what everyone's doing, might take some time to catch up :)

I'm still dating Bricky, it's been 3 months now. Sometimes I feel like I'm starting my 'mad woman' phase, when all my insecurities come to the fore and I worry where it's leading. I'm properly falling for him now in spite of the slow start and I know what's happened every time before when I've fallen, they seem to back off. I don't know if I imagine it because I become insecure knowing I could be hurt. Anyway at the moment I've all sorts of little niggles going through my head

I don't think he's really fallen for me or at least that's one of my niggles. He doesn't tell me in words how much he likes me but he treats me well so I just don't know. We spent the whole weekend together which I feel was boring for him as I had a lot of car issues I needed to sort but he said he enjoyed the weekend, god knows why. But he's said he's not coming over until Friday morning as we are going away this weekend and I normally see him during the week so I'm worrying

I have met his family, been to parents twice for Sunday lunch but I found out the other day that he had also taken the last woman he met online and dated for 3 months there as well, so I'm not so special, it's just something he does. I just feel really down at the moment and not sure it's all to do with him anyway

Santaclaws · 15/04/2014 06:50

Also I have a few niggles that he might drink quite a lot. I could be wrong and be being unfair but as someone who hardly drinks at all and none of my previous partners have drunk either I'm just not used to what may be normal. I've never seen him drunk but he appears to like a drink everyday. He always has wine with his dinner each night, then from what he says he drinks beer each evening, at least a couple of cans. I know I sound naive but is this common?

whitedoorbell · 15/04/2014 07:26

hi ladies can I join you?
just braving world of OLD after long marriage to abusive exh and then long relationship which was going nowhere... more like hoa counsellor than lover!!

anyway started OLD and met baldy. been for coffee then cinema where I got a little ahem overexcited. so arranged to meet yesterday at his house and had sex
what I am worried about is that he seems lovely and I am super keen ... the shagging was excellent and my sex life has been shit to say the least.
based on my track record of crap relationship I am unsure what to do now? I know u can date several blokes at the same time to test the water but what is etiquette once you sleep together?
Don't have any other dates lined up and don't know if to focus on baldy for time being or chat to others. tbh main attraction of chatting to others is to distract me from baldy who I don't want to scare off by being too full on. playing hard to get is not my thing at all!!!!
or do I exercise huge restraint and keep busy and stay cool???
christ I sound insecure! I really really like him and don't want to screw it up!!!

whitedoorbell · 15/04/2014 07:29

santa to drink wine with dinner plus a few cans each night I would say is quite alot... again may be just me!!

dontcallmehon22 · 15/04/2014 07:58

Super, match is good in my experience. Toryboy is from match and he asked me on a date 2 last night. Author also asked me on a date 2 but I didn't fancy him.

Santa it does seem like quite a lot of alcohol, I guess.

Santaclaws · 15/04/2014 08:01

whitedoorbell welcome. I don't think anything is set in stone as regards etiquette as every person/ date is different. I think you have to just play things by ear that's what I do / did

:( so you also think the drinking sounds a lot. I thought maybe it was just me and I was not used to it

louby44 · 15/04/2014 08:05

santa yes I too think that's quite a lot every night.

The glass of wine with dinner is ok but to then carry on drinking, particularly during the week.

white when I did OLD a fair few years ago, I did sleep with my dates pretty quickly. It was my mad phase as I never really did that in my teens and early twenties. Now I'm back to OLD I've decided if I meet someone I like I'm going to try and hold off on the sex for a bit don't know how. If you like baldy go for it! Once I have sex with someone things change for me and I couldn't sleep with anyone else until I knew where the relationship was going.

I'm out on a date tonight with Mr Tall and after chatting/texting him he seems really nice. Am looking forward to meeting him.

I'm also chatting to Mr Dartplayer who asked me for a drink but we can't find an evening when we're free as yet!

whitedoorbell · 15/04/2014 08:07

santa that is just my opinion. I rarely drink... mostly home in the evening on my own with the kids.

it may just be a social type thing. does he drink when he is with you? what if you have a night in? does he drink then? or is it a more social thing?

whitedoorbell · 15/04/2014 08:10

louby that is how I feel. trouble is I am very impatient. I need to chill out a bit and see what happens. Don't want to meet anyone else till I decide what is going on with baldy.

am going to have a massive spring clean today to keep me busy and also in case we come to mine next rime

whitedoorbell · 15/04/2014 08:11

ps louby good luck!

Santaclaws · 15/04/2014 08:15

white good idea to keep busy and try to take your mind off things for a while

Bricky doesn't really go out in the evenings to pubs. He drinks at home and usually but not always has a can or two whilst at my house especially at the weekend. However I found out, he told me had had a can before coming over the other night!

Santaclaws · 15/04/2014 08:16

louby good luck for your date tonight :)

BateKush · 15/04/2014 08:21

Hi guys, I hope you don't mind me joining in, I've tried to before but didn't last very long as this thread moves so fast! It's very informative though!

So talking to a guy from POF. Attractive, good job, seems very keen. He wanted to speak on the phone before a date on Saturday, which I didn't mind so we chatted last night. I liked him and most of the phone call was good but a little snippet at the end has put me off...I'm new to OD really...is this normal...?

He stressed the point he is looking for a girlfriend. He misses waking up next to someone. He double checked my height and hair colour. When I asked why he said he likes tall women because they usually have good legs. He said from your pictures you look slim, so are you slim? Thing is i am tall but Im not slim, just maybe slightly above normal I think (size 12/14). I said if you're expecting a supermodel, you should go on a date with someone else and he backtracked immediately saying he was just trying to get a full picture. Then he said he was looking forward to saturday to have a nice coffee, nice lunch and "maybe, you know, even a kiss".

I ended the call feeling very weary. He had seemed so nice. Why do they do this?

Santaclaws · 15/04/2014 08:25

Hi bushkate that would put me off him too. I would feel like he had sex on his mind more than anything else. Are you going to go on the date?

whitedoorbell · 15/04/2014 08:27

batekush I am new to this too but I totally get what you are saying. think I would feel a bit let down by that sort of conversation too
what are you going to do?

BateKush · 15/04/2014 08:28

I don't think so, unless someone tells me that what he said is entirely normal and the done thing?

Now I am just imagining walking in to meet him and my legs and weight being carefully scrutinised to see if I am a suitable candidate to be his girlfriend. And I think that sounds awful.

But then I think, isn't that what we all do all the time anyway?

gigglekicks · 15/04/2014 08:32

batekush I wouldn't like that either. I am also tall, size 10, but don't have great legs. Getting tired of short dress comments!!

Personally I find hints about sex before you have even met someone the least sexy thing they can do.

BateKush · 15/04/2014 08:36

So was that all a hint about sex then do you think?

To be honest, that is so not what he is going to get. I came out of an EA marriage early last year where sex was a big issue. I have dated two people since then and sex really has come last, I need to move slowly.

Ha, I've a good mind to turn up and just frustrate the life out of him!

louby44 · 15/04/2014 09:16

Batekush love your name!

Oh go! What have you got to lose. You have to remember men are visual creatures bless them, whereas we can see beyond that.

I'm tall, 5' 10" and a size 14. I'm curvy and have good legs. If any man doesn't like what I have on offer he can jog on...

I don't mind a bit of casual flirting before meeting but any direct reference to sex puts me off too.

And I saw my first willy photo on Tinder the other day! WTF!!!

BateKush · 15/04/2014 09:31

Do you think I should? I'd been looking forward to it but now...meh

Thing is, my legs have always been the things I hate most about myself and now I know they're going to be scrutinised. They're so muscly and big. I'm more of a hit with boob men.

Also the fact he mentioned a kiss puts me off. To me, a first date is a meet up. I know I wouldn't feel comfortable kissing someone the first time I met them.

BateKush · 15/04/2014 09:32

Lol at the tinder willy!

FloraSpreadableMacDonald · 15/04/2014 09:42

My date on Saturday is travelling quite a distance. We have chatted since before Christmas but due to the almost 3 hour drive between us, this is the first time we have managed to meet. I'm worried I don't fancy him physically yet I do really like him as a person. I'm spending the whole day with him. I'd like to stay friends even if no attraction. Any advice...can the physical bit develop given we seem a good match personality wise? Also the distance bothering me.

BateKush · 15/04/2014 10:28

i think it is impossible to tell these things until you meet in person flora, which is why I don't want to feel under any pressure on my date to be doing any kissing or whatnot.

personally, all my long term relationships in the past have been friendships that turned into more. I started to find them more attractive the more i knew them.

I think a lovely friendship first is a great foundation - the physical can definitely develop later. As long as he doesn't make you feel ick

FloraSpreadableMacDonald · 15/04/2014 10:48

Ive seen pics and I think he looks nice...he doesnt make my heart skip but he is attractive. I thikn you are right...I wont know till we meet. I think we shall just play it by ear. Feeling nervous.

Flip

1 2 ··· 30 31 32 ··· 39 40