what do you do with a husband who ..........

[bella1968]

Marks a cross on the days on the calendar that we don't have sex! He d to do it in a diary a year ago and I felt really pressured now this calendar is on the kitchen wall for everyone to see.Admittedly no-one knows what the crosses mean but does anyone else's husband do this??

Well I wouldn't want to have sex with them ever again. And so I wouldn't.

That sounds really passive aggressive. What point is he trying to make? And to do it publicly makes him even more of an arse. Have you told him it makes you feel pressured?

What a bellend!

I'd be furious and tbh he'd not get chance to put another cross on the calender in my house. In the kitchen? are you serious? The diary would have been bad enough for me.

As my counsellor would say, this is abusive. Have a read of 'living with the dominator'.

I can't imagine a bigger turn off than a shitty, sex recording calendar.

Do you get a smiley sticker on the days you do 'perform'? Or a mark out of 10?

It's the mark if a complete and utter controlling douche.

Another who thinks he is a contolling wanker. sorry.

He keeps a tally? Does he have a code for blow iobs etc?

I wouldn't feel like sex either, tbh, what with him monitoring like that. Why does he do that? It annoys you and the info is of no use to anyone!

Wtf? That is unbelievable. I'd set fire to that calendar.

Put a cross on the calendar every time he doesn't take out the trash, doesn't look after the children, doesn't load/unload the dishwasher/doesn't vacuum. Try and use the same pen.

Let him stew until you tell him what you are doing. Then tell him that that one of the greatest aphrodisiacs is help and co-operation with housework and children.

Awful to put you under pressure like that.

Show him this thread , then NC ??????

Good grief no. But then I'd never dtd again if he did.

Maybe call a lawyer. Guessing that ain't the first nail in his coffin....

Why do you think he puts a cross? How did this start? Is there a backstory?

This is really horrendous behaviour. What is he trying to achieve? Shame and guilt you into having sex?

I'd probably wonder why I married a prick like this.

Is he gathering evidence to throw in your face at a later date?

"But look!! we NEVER have sex"

And I'm not bloody surprised you don't, what a dick.

That's vile. Yep, just crack on with filling in the crosses for him.

I would do a 'Shirley Valentine' and put up a poster of Greece next to it. When he asks, say, (Liverpudlian accent) 'It's a place.....and I am going!' Twat!

What SmallBee said - I would also be tempted to go back to the days that aren't crossed out & grade his efforts from 1-10.

Yuck, the thought of that makes me shudder. It's also the fact that the quality of the sex clearly means nothing to him, just the quantity. That is fucked up.

What Gold said.

Oh my god that is one of the most odious things I've heard on here

He's obviously a bit thick too since he's not clocked on that what he's doing is specifically designed to NOT get him what he wants.

He's an arsehole.

Er... I would stop having sex with him.
Or maybe make a star each time he failed to bring you pleasure/orgasm when you have sex? I would say, as a guess, that if you feel pressured to have sex with him then you are less likely to enjoy it and therefore there will be lots of stars there too....

I cannot get my head 'round why he would think this would work and if he thinks it would 'shame' you into performing that tells you all you need to know about how he really feels about your needs and desires.

omg

I would draw a shiny purple penis on the days he's being a bellend.

Tell him, "We're gonna need a bigger calendar."

Or put a smiley face on the calendar for every time you have an earth shaking orgasm. Leave it to him to do the maths.

Do these 'men' know we come on mn to discuss what complete tossers they are?

It's a real pity we can't have a name and shame to advise others in the sisterhood not to touch these men with a bargepole if ever they come back on the market.

Obviously op, LTB, unless he starts treating you like a human being rather thsn a blow up doll.