Ok weve been married almost 25 years.
Not a happy marriage tbh.
Definitely lack of intimacy.
12 years ago I found DH looking at porn. I was heavily pregnant and went babanas tbh. My BFF then calmed me down told me it was entirely normal to an extent and I eventually saw it a little more logically.
Agreed that if he wanted to look on occasions was ok but no secrecy (he had put passwords on everything ) and i then even offered to watch some with him.
He knew how much it upset me but I gave him my ok within limits I think .
For the last 12 years our sex life has been dreadful. I assumed he didn't fancy me . I asked him to go to the doctors when he said it wasn't my fault he was just always tired. I offered to go with him.He wouldn't go.
Last week I wasn't snooping because I have never ever had reason to. I cant remember how I think his e mail was open not mine when I saw an e mail which sent alarm bells - it was for a website called flirtomatic.I clicked the link and his picture and everything was on a profile.
Now rightly or wrongly I was that gutted I trawled through everything and this is what ive discovered.
Hes been on dating sites / chat rooms for 12 years judging by e mail history.
Hes on at least 8 dating sites.
He has another mobile telephone .
He is a regular on porn sites.
On the one site he is listed as being separated for a year.
I logged in on his profile and he was chatting to girls until 2.30 in the morning , at 7 in the morning and on and off during the day. When I say chatting it was completely sexual-some not so - but many were so.
This is a man who I have asked for a couple of years what the hell he does in the bathroom for an hour in the morning but was only joking because no one could in and know I know !).
Now I went 1 step further which is totally wrong I know but I did.
I set up my own profile and was chatting to him.
I was off work sick ( not really ill just gutted and couldn't function ), so he brings me a cup of coffee in bed and goes back down to his office-where he then tells me hes going to put his cock in my mouth and shoot his load !! ( not obviously realising the other person was me his wife upstairs ) I asked him if he wanted to do some pictures with me and he said yes and gave me his e mail address- he has several I knew nothing about.
This all happened over a week ago.
He knows I hate lies and truth always wins-I have asked him to look me in the eye and tell me hes not hiding anything-he knows im ending our marriage and ive given him several opportunities to own up. It sounds crazy but im such a stickler for truth and after all these years he knows dam well right or wrong that if he owned up id address what is probably some sort of porn addiction and go with him for councelling.
Ive noticed that there is a lock down on everything. I mean we have several laptops ( teenagers ) ipads phones ect and everything of his is suddenly password protected.
This all feels horrid.
I cant stand the thought of him getting off with these women who it seems hes actually got to know online when all the time I thought he was gay or that I was just ugly to him.
Am I overreacting wanting to end this marriage ?