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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Honestly WWYD - found DH on dating sites and more x

120 replies

Sleepyheadx · 20/03/2014 14:29

Ok weve been married almost 25 years.
Not a happy marriage tbh.
Definitely lack of intimacy.
12 years ago I found DH looking at porn. I was heavily pregnant and went babanas tbh. My BFF then calmed me down told me it was entirely normal to an extent and I eventually saw it a little more logically.
Agreed that if he wanted to look on occasions was ok but no secrecy (he had put passwords on everything ) and i then even offered to watch some with him.

He knew how much it upset me but I gave him my ok within limits I think .

For the last 12 years our sex life has been dreadful. I assumed he didn't fancy me . I asked him to go to the doctors when he said it wasn't my fault he was just always tired. I offered to go with him.He wouldn't go.

Last week I wasn't snooping because I have never ever had reason to. I cant remember how I think his e mail was open not mine when I saw an e mail which sent alarm bells - it was for a website called flirtomatic.I clicked the link and his picture and everything was on a profile.
Now rightly or wrongly I was that gutted I trawled through everything and this is what ive discovered.
Hes been on dating sites / chat rooms for 12 years judging by e mail history.
Hes on at least 8 dating sites.
He has another mobile telephone .
He is a regular on porn sites.
On the one site he is listed as being separated for a year.
I logged in on his profile and he was chatting to girls until 2.30 in the morning , at 7 in the morning and on and off during the day. When I say chatting it was completely sexual-some not so - but many were so.
This is a man who I have asked for a couple of years what the hell he does in the bathroom for an hour in the morning but was only joking because no one could in and know I know !).
Now I went 1 step further which is totally wrong I know but I did.
I set up my own profile and was chatting to him.
I was off work sick ( not really ill just gutted and couldn't function ), so he brings me a cup of coffee in bed and goes back down to his office-where he then tells me hes going to put his cock in my mouth and shoot his load !! ( not obviously realising the other person was me his wife upstairs ) I asked him if he wanted to do some pictures with me and he said yes and gave me his e mail address- he has several I knew nothing about.
This all happened over a week ago.
He knows I hate lies and truth always wins-I have asked him to look me in the eye and tell me hes not hiding anything-he knows im ending our marriage and ive given him several opportunities to own up. It sounds crazy but im such a stickler for truth and after all these years he knows dam well right or wrong that if he owned up id address what is probably some sort of porn addiction and go with him for councelling.
Ive noticed that there is a lock down on everything. I mean we have several laptops ( teenagers ) ipads phones ect and everything of his is suddenly password protected.
This all feels horrid.
I cant stand the thought of him getting off with these women who it seems hes actually got to know online when all the time I thought he was gay or that I was just ugly to him.
Am I overreacting wanting to end this marriage ?

OP posts:
BuzzardBird · 12/04/2014 12:33

I feel worried that we have riled him. He is a desperate man :(

whyamiwastingtimeonhere · 12/04/2014 13:15

Sleepyheadx

I'm afraid that this is really not a great place for you to obtain genuinely helpful advice. MN is a great resource for all manner of issues in modern life, but for your situation, this forum is probably the worst.

There is, in general, only one kind of advice on this forum -

Lonely, bitter women screaming Leave him! Leave him!

If you want real help, then you need to contact Relate or some other, real counselling.

I don't know whether your marriage is over or not, but you're not going to find out here.

AnyFucker · 12/04/2014 14:02

I am not a lonely bitter woman. I am in a relationship with a man that respects women and I believe that is every woman's right.

whyamiwastingtimeonhere · 12/04/2014 14:10

I am not a lonely bitter woman. I am in a relationship with a man that respects women

Of course you are. Good for you.

But he still watches porn...

AnyFucker · 12/04/2014 14:16

I am sure you know that better than both he and I do Smile

whyamiwastingtimeonhere · 12/04/2014 14:24

Better than him - obviously not. Better than you - maybe.

LavenderGreen14 · 12/04/2014 14:26

Hope you are ok OP.

And i really hope you find the strength to get rid of this excuse of a husband - he has no respect for you, or any other woman at all.

BuzzardBird · 12/04/2014 14:27

AF were you aware that others know your partner better than you? Confused what a load of twattery bollocks.

whyamiwastingtimeonhere · 12/04/2014 14:32

But having said that this is a terrible place for advice in this situation, I will of course still add my two penn'orth... (don't worry, the irony is not lost on me)

Firstly, your nqsDH clearly outed himself. It's a curious thing that men (and some women) do when they've got themselves into something over a long time and would like to get out of but don't have the mental means to do so. Subconsciously they deliberately drive the ship onto the rocks, safe in the knowledge that they will either be released by drowning or someone will save them. You said yourself that you're not a snooper - after 12 years of being careful, he left his email wide open. He wanted (consciously or subconsciously) to bring this to a head. The logical thing would have been to say to himself "I've had enough of this now, I'm going to delete all my accounts and try to reconnect with my wife" - but that's not usually how life works.

Nobody here seems to understand confession. 'Confession is good for the soul', so the saying goes, and it's pretty much true. By confessing all, your nqsDH has taken all the anxiety and stress off his shoulders and plonked it down onto yours. He's flung himself into the sea and is now waiting to either drown or for you to save him.

I don't know whether you even still like him enough to want to stay married, that's something you need to decide, ideally with the help of real counselling.

There's just one factor which worries me here

You seem to take an unrealistically hard line on porn.

All men like watching porn.

Every. Single. one. of. us.

Ever since we were first able to daub pigment on the walls of caves or fashion figurines out of animal horn.

For most of us (I hope), porn is just something we passively consume, like food, air, sports, action movies and beer. Obviously your nqsDH has gone beyond that, into the interactive realm, which is dangerous and wrong - but maybe fixable.

You offered to watch some porn with him - this was a constructive suggestion (and I'm sure many men would love it), but clearly he knows your real views on porn so I'm not surprised he declined. I would too.

For most men watching porn is a shameful, guilty pleasure - in my case alongside liking fifties musicals and (worst of all) liking 'Sex and the City'. It's something we want to do alone.

I fear that if you can really not stand the idea of a man you're in a relationship with watching porn, then either you need to either get some cats or take an interest in space travel, because you're not going to find a man that measures up on this planet.

Anyway, must go, time for football....

BuzzardBird · 12/04/2014 14:39

Meanwhile, in the real world. Are you ok op?

AnyFucker · 12/04/2014 14:44

It's a massive surprise to me that poster is a male sex industry user.

YoniMatopoeia · 12/04/2014 15:21

Sleepy I hope you are ok.

Whyamiwastingmytimeonhere. Your user name is a good question.

Not all men access porn. You may justify it to yourself in that way. But in the mean time ODFOD.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 12/04/2014 17:58

Ok. Here we go. Two years ago Anyfucker told me to leave my dh when I was upset at having found his alarmingly big porn habit.

I couldn't do it. I still can't. But I'm still unhappy about it.

Take the advice Sleepy. Really. Don't be me in another few years.

Sleepyheadx · 12/04/2014 18:50

crumbs I didn't mean to press send before . Am fine thank you muchly x
Whyamiwastingmytimeonhere....I can cope with a bit of porn watching as long as its not hidden ect but open honest and only occasionally. I can't cope with the rest. It's huge . I don't even want to think about it anymore because more and more things over the last 12+ years now make sense . I lost count at 15 or 17 differrent dating sites he had joined and his interactions with women ( including me without realising it ) make me feel sick . many of these sites were local looking at stuff i never imagined he woukd be into . I have cried and got so pissed and cried more but i feel I am now actually looking forward to my future without DH. It's going to be hard but I'm on the way and taking steps every day . there is so much more but can't really talk on here now !! Thank you lots . When I had doubts I just read everyone's posts and began to see I can do this and Im not being unreasonable. I love my dc so much and I will do this for them whatever . He will only ever think of himself because I lost count of how many times I've thought that . this is about him al the time . Fine but I'm out of this and very very confident in my decision.x

OP posts:
elQuintoConyo · 12/04/2014 21:22

Love and strength Sleepyheadx Thanks

Sleepyheadx · 13/04/2014 09:54

Thank you x

OP posts:
ScrambledEggAndToast · 13/04/2014 10:00

Just seen this thread, hope you're OK OP. Nothing really to add tbh but sending support and Thanks

AnyFucker · 13/04/2014 10:11

Good luck sleepy, I think you are doing the right thing. Enough is enough. More years of this will not only kill your respect for him but also your respect for yourself

Ilove, I am sorry x

aylesburyduck · 13/04/2014 12:01

FWIF Sleepy I think your decision is the right one given the circumstances.

Going to state the bleeding obvious but 12 years is a long time to deceive someone, and trying to forgive and move on from that and re-build a marriage which was already unhappy is probably nigh on impossible.

You will move on, you will rebuild and you will be happy. There will be tough times ahead, but I would hazard a guess that they will be a damn sight easier than what you have already been through.

Wishing you tons of luck and strength.

Thanks
JuliaScurr · 13/04/2014 12:10

www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/adviceline.php

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