My partner has left me and my 2 boys this morning

[DickCrack]

It's been coming a while. 1 shag in 3 years lots if rows. This morning I found loads of dirty texts he sent to another woman. He's gone now. Ds 5 witnessed a lot of my upset this morning. I'm ashamed. What do I do?

Yes of course - whatever you feel happy with. It does seem reasonable to me

Well he came, it was very upsetting for me. He doesn't show any interest in coming back. I feel so dismissed. I don't want to be a single parent and I don't want him to have all the fun stuff from the boys while I slog away working, cooking, cleaning, disciplining, for the next 15 years. I need to man up don't I? I'd feel better if he begged for forgiveness and to come home, I really would

All you need to do is cope, and that's exactly what you're doing.

Stop thinking about him and focus on your future.

Remember these are still early days. Don't be hard on yourself. I promise things will get better and it's far better to be a single parent, bringing up kiddies in a good environment, than being with someone who has hurt you/the boys so much....

I am sorry, love

Feeling so up and down. It's been two weeks. Surely I should be improving?

Why "surely"?

It is such early days Dick. Not even time for you to get over the shock yet. Time will make it better but you have to give it that time

It took me a good 18 months to get over my marriage breakdown.

I'm having counselling for my recent relationship breakdown (6 yrs together) and last week I cried during the session, not about exP but about exH - still have issues I suppose. The counselling is definitely helping though!

Time does make things better.

It's been hard doing ds2s birthday on my own. Ds1 wet himself in school today, he's suffering too.

Oh dick. That stuff hurts like hell. But that is where you will find his ranger at this man child. And where you will find your strength

Is it possible to be too hurt to be angry do you think? I can't help wondering if it is just because I'm fat and ugly. Though he's no Adonis either.

Ok. Stop right there. It is nothing of the bloody sort. It's because he's a selfish, pathetic excuse of a man. That's the only reason. Do not blame yourself.

Try and get some sleep. I don't say that lightly as I know how elusive sleep can be. Warm drink? Warm bath? Maybe the radio on low to distract (if you have a dab radio try radio 4extra. Mindless 70s sitcoms!) and try to sleep. Just let it park in your mind and get some rest xx

And trust me on this: the anger will come and then he will see what you are made of. Steely icy fury. It will come.

Ds2s birthday party today. I have some amazing friends, one if whom has sorted the sandwiches for me, another coming early to help me set up. Friends came last night so I didn't have to do a family birthday tea alone. I'm lucky to have them. No contact with him. I think today may be a better day.

good for you - and thank goodness for amazing friends.

Hope your DS has a very happy birthday.

Happy birthday to your ds. You don't need this unfaithful twat to make things nice for your little boy. Onwards and upwards x

Hope you all have a lovely day. Hurrah for your lovely friends...you only need the people who love and respect you in your life. You're doing amazingly x

I did it! I'm a bit overwhelmed with the sheer amount of work and now I need to empty all the bags etc, but I did it, without him. He missed out today.

Well done OP! One day at a time.

I agree - and the only person who has missed out today his him. His loss. So glad you had a happy day.

Everyone said I looked good and had lost weight too. A happy side effect :-) I shall be continuing the weight loss thing.

Hello dick. Had a busy day but quickly logged in to see how you are doing and the answer is "brilliantly". Well done you!

Just wanted to say that I am in your shoes...you are doing amazingly well, it is very early days. My H left 5 months ago for somebody else and moved in with her immediately, we'd been together 14 years. I agree you should allow him to see the children, short regular contact. My H sees DS for a couple of hours midweek and all day Saturday. Saturday is now my day to myself, I can see friends, have a lazy lunch, even doing the housework without a toddler around does me some good! I should be taking my own advice because like you have lost a lot of weight but mainly through anxiety and not eating. This in itself has set off other health issues so take care of yourself in that respect. Definitely take one day at a time, an hour at a time if you have to. These men are such fools, selfish beyond belief, ruin the lives of those around them and just walk away. I have no comment about women who get involved with married men, they are just scum and will reap their just rewards. I so understand your anger and pain...but things do start to get better eventually. I think I have accepted that I am in for the long haul with recovery, but it will come...and for you too! :-)

Oh MrsC I'm so sorry you've been on the receiving end of such twattery too

It just beggars belief how common this is isn't it?