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Relationships

Argh! I am reading him wrong?!

425 replies

outtathefryingpan · 01/03/2014 10:22

Background: out of a long term relationship late last year, for at least the last 3 year that had become unhealthy and was manipulative and a bit controlling. Took a lot for me to realise and get the courage to leave. I'm worried this is now clouding my judgement on other situations so would like your views...

Started sleeping with a friend at beginning of Jan, (known them 2years), make it VERY clear I was not in the right place for a relationship right now and I wanted to spend sometime been single and working out who I was and getting my life into some sort of order... nice to get some positive attention though and I enjoy his company. Thought it would work okay as he's a single parent will full custody so has other things in his life to keep him busy. I have not committed to see him on any frequency, he knows this and agrees with it. I agreed I wouldn't date other people (Not a problem, I don't want to ATM!)

Last few weeks I feel likes he's constantly picking up on my behaviour regarding how quickly I reply to his text messages. I think he constantly mentions it if I don't reply immediately to his text he says he doesn't . I think he has a problem if I see my friends and not him (He doesn't say this directly but negatively comments on it). I called him on this and he's went off on one... its all me apparently. So either way I probably need to let this go, but for my own sanity, do you think I was out of order / wrong about him?

He says its rude and ignorant of me to not reply quickly and in detail. These are from yesterday...
"Some things not right, you haven't reply to my messages, do you think this is worth it" (I had been replying at 15 minute intervals?)
"Did my messages come through?" (He had sent 5 messages, I had last messaged less then an hour previously. I was at work) 10 minutes later
"My messages obviously aren't coming though" (He knows I cant reply at work!)
He'll send v long messages, and lots of them back to back, if I don't reply within 10 mins I get "nevermind" When I do reply I have to mention every point in his previous x messages...

Regarding this weekend, I am seeing a friend tomorrow. I'm not well (just a cold) so wanted to stop in last night, I went to bed at 9. I could have seen him today but haven't arranged anything as I feel hes been negatively mentioning me seeing my friend tomorrow. These are just a sample from yesterdays messages as he feels hard done by that I made plans for one day:
"Already your too busy off with other peeps again"
"...clearly you prefer to do something else instead" (rather then see him)
"You just seem to make yourself busy with others"
"We both know you'd rather be doing other things"

This is a small sample. He never makes plans to see me. I always have to suggest meeting. I always go to his.

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Fairenuff · 12/03/2014 19:56

Oh well done for calling the police again. You are right to keep on at them until they come to record your complaint. You should ask them to proceed with charges if they offer.

If you keep ignoring him and keep reporting him, he will go away. But you cannot let him get away with a single message, no matter how 'nice' it is. He has to know you have zero tolerance on contact.