It is a minority of people that are into BDSM isn't it?

[TheArticFunky]

I'm not into BDSM or anything like that, each to their own but the idea of being spanked doesn't do it for me at all.

Recently I have noticed on Facebook that lots of my friends are implying that they like being spanked or sharing daft BDSM posters.

Do you think they are genuinely into it or is it that they think they should be into it because of books like 50 shades?

I'm starting to think that everyone is at it judging by the Facebook updates.

NotBritta, furries. Just .... furries. Or, in this case, featheries. Don't google that, anyone, unless you want your brain quite comprehensively broken.

I accidentally ended up at a furries party, in a tent, in the middle of a desert before I knew what furries were. I thought I would join in as I had a furry cat hat on

Fractured... I feel like there is more of a story there...

Nope that was pretty much it, had a drink and moved on. It was at Burning Man festival.
Every 5 minutes there was something random happening. Caught a ride on a drivable magic carpet and a fire breathing dragon. Woke up one day, went outside and there was a mass topless bike ride.

I couldn't list all the things that happened there. I just wish I could afford to go back.

My DH and I are into this lifestyle. We used to be members to a select club in London. To some it's a kink, to others it's a way of life. 2 of my best friends, both male or in a 24/7 D/s relationship. It works for them.

I have noticed more people are open or interested into due to the Shade books. But BDSM should be takeb seriously - if you plan to commit, anything can easily go wrong. Those who know the lifestyle and not the kink, no the difference of playing safe.

Each to their own really isn't it?

Excuse my horrible misspelling and grammar - half asleep!

That's what I have always understood about it all Multiple, that it has to be very carefully used and takes loads of communication and informed consent. It isn't just a frivolous thing to be played with on FB or taken lightly as people can end up seriously hurt/injured.

I always think it's down to the couple as long as both take part in full understanding and knowledge of how to communicate yes, no and stop,

Jake - Completely true.

Safewords are there to prevent those situations of someone getting hurt. Most try not to use "no" as a safeword because it is easily ignored and misused by Dom & Sub. As long as there is communication and consent. - That's if your acting participating in BDSM and not a few handcuffs and hand spanks in the bedroom.

Jesus, look at me. I'm bloody babbling on!

There are at least two threads currently active discussing bdsm (this one and the swingers one has gone a bit OT)

Mumsnet, you pervs!

It can be a deep commitment, or it can be a bit of fun. It's no more inherently& dangerous than either dating at all^ or taking part in contact sports.

Mind you, you could say the same for Morris dancing.

None of my friends post about their sex life.

Maybe you need other friends?

I tend to agree with jake and multiple but that's perhaps because it has the potential to be very psychologically damaging to me because of a history of abuse. I'm aware the two may be connected in more ways than one. I'm sure my personal experience does not necessarily apply to everyone who enjoys BDSM though. I do think by necessity it requires self awareness and also empathy though.

I suspect most of those going on about it on FB are the 'Ooh I'm so wild, look I got some fluffy handcuffs for your hen night. Aren't we naughty!" kind. Not those who are seriously into it!

I used to belong to a web group called 'Informed Consent'. It was (mainly) populated by people who do 'do' BDSM. Some voyeurs of course but they would be quickly filtered out if you wanted to meet someone new. My only observation is that it was full of interesting, well adjusted consenting adults who enjoyed a preference that is not for everyone. In the final analysis I don't like rice pudding but I don't tell other folks this! I might however in a moment of boredom put this last fact on my FB page.

Oh dear!

Besides there's a lot more to BDSM then just being physical, some people in BDSM are in it for the emotional aspect of it. It's not always about pain or physical pleasure but giving up control and taking control in at least one aspect of your life.

But as someone said above, you don't have to post all over the internet and especially on bloody facebook. DH & I are quite open about it, and our family and friends do know (mainly because most of our friends are into the lifestyle) but we don't go around bragging or posting our sex life online, only passing comments.

Saying that, most of what everyone puts on facebook is either something that will make them look cool or they've read the books (which are piss poor representations of BDSM) and think it's totally out there, and outrageously kinky, whereas I think it's something normal because I've always perceived it that way. I'm sure those on facebook will soon get bored of it!

M/Mama - absolutely right! Far more BDSM goes on in the mind when playing than the physical stuff which for some is simply the catalyst to produce the mind stuff. (a lot of stuff).....puts kettle on and returns to horrible crossword...

It's like really lovely drugs...

Ah, the lovely joy of subspace and domspace...

Like floating away on your own brain chemistry, without a care in the world (apart from obviously the person who is being very very mean to you and how wonderful they are...)

I have had a lot of psychiatric drugs, and NONE of them even compare.

Agreed Britta - I used to play with this woman who was a genius at rope harnesses. Didn't have to take any clothes off, have restricted movement or have any kind of sexual stimuli, just being tied about with rope made me go all weird and spacey - like being hypnotised. Such a bunny.

Kind of a shame DH isn't that way inclined, but he's getting less and less vanilla as time goes by :) And he likes knots. Maybe he can be persuaded...

Don't think I ever thought I'd discuss BDSM on Mumsnet...
I used to be on IC too

It's like being a christmas tree and being decorated

Or maybe that was a bad way of putting it... it is hypnotic though. I'm really, really new to it but I am absolutely amazed! I don't understand how something so lovely can be seen as wrong or dirty in any way.

"Like being a Christmas tree and being decorated".

I'm a control freak and very anal (not that type of anal ) which is why being submissive doesn't really appeal to me and I'm far too lazy to be the dominator.

I don't care what people get up to as long as that is what they want.

I tend to agree with you op, though. It sounds like when some people want to seem all 'dirty'. Like when i was younger, i shaved off my pubes, kissed women for attention etc

Now i couldn't give a fuck. I would never do anything specifically to change the way i am to seem more attractive.