It is a minority of people that are into BDSM isn't it?

[TheArticFunky]

I'm not into BDSM or anything like that, each to their own but the idea of being spanked doesn't do it for me at all.

Recently I have noticed on Facebook that lots of my friends are implying that they like being spanked or sharing daft BDSM posters.

Do you think they are genuinely into it or is it that they think they should be into it because of books like 50 shades?

I'm starting to think that everyone is at it judging by the Facebook updates.

[BumDNC]

I strongly dislike any rough sex, even light spanking or any kind of pain or power play it does not turn me on at all in fact has the opposite effect. Doesn't mean I am 'boring in bed' which is what I think the assumption is with the whole 'vanilla sex' idea thanks to 50 shades - there are many other things you can do that aren't boring but aren't BDSM. I think these Facebook braggers just like people to think they are edgy and exciting

[leestwood]

downstairs, anything by kink.com:-)

[MultipleMama]

I got into it when looking at porn when I was 15 - DH was 16 when he got into the lifestyle and trained as a submissive due to some childhood things he went through. I turned 16 and had a submissive training for 6mo with DH's consent then had 8 months of training as a Domme again with DH's consent and our friend and DM (dungeon master) was the one who trained DH when he was 16 and then me when DH and I decided to go for it. Then when I was 20 I had Needleplay and Bloodplay training/sessions. We both now have marriage and a contract.

DH needs that release and I want and need to be person who gives that to him, and I need that control.

[NoPainNoGainNoFunNoPoint]

Eats can you PM me those links please? Thanks.

Mama, thank you for the suggestions, I'll look into them.

I got into it years ago when I was a manager. I needed part of my life that I could give over to someone else to make those decisions for me. It was quite peaceful and liberating and there's other things I'd like to try but DP might take some convincing.

As for the erotica, I'm not too fussy about gay or straight, single or group scenes. As long as the language isn't too flowery or metaphor laden.

I think I want something arousing and sensual with scenarios I might never have heard of or imagined.

I look forward to catching up on some dark light reading.

[MultipleMama]

As I only read gay erotica, I can suggest some that DH has read.

The Story of O by Pauline Réage - still has mixed reviews and still causes fuss, many hate how it protraies women, but DH found it to be very open about a woman's life.

Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook by Michael Makai - DH found it insightful and knowledgable. Not a novel though.

The Angel by Tiffany Reisz - DH loves the line; “Fetishes... they’re the pet you feed or the beast that eats you.”

That's all he can think of at minute!

[EatsCakeForNoReasonWhatsoever]

I could PM you some links to free stories online if you like?

[NoPainNoGainNoFunNoPoint]

I've really enjoyed reading both threads as I like some bondage and pain play. It's great to see people open up and be honest and I get the whole "the safety is in the risk" thing. If risk is the right word, hopefully you know what I mean!

I am intrigued by further reading materials though. I've not read 50 Shades as it didn't appeal to me especially after I found out my mum had read it so can anyone recommend any other novel/las please?

[MultipleMama]

Yeah... I'd still like to keep some thing private and not list my entire catalog! Haha.

Glad you had a great night Britta and hope your bruises mark how you want them to! . It's been too long since I've had the chance to mark DH and fully enjoy my time with him. Abd with our 20 week olds it's even harder.

[BrittaPieandChips]

It's kinda gone a bit kinky over there

[MultipleMama]

Now that's intriguing! Not into being a swinger though! I'll stick to public showings! Haha.

What a strange place to put a thread but then it is about clothes...

[BrittaPieandChips]

It's in style and beauty of all places. Called something like 'what does one wear to a swingers club?' and its over 500 posts now, mostly positive, which is lovely.

I'll PM you the club, bit too identifying...

[JakeBullet]

you have all intrigued me now lol......no man in my life to corrupt at the mo though .

[SolidGoldBrass]

Ooh, where did you go? (And BTW where is the swingers' thread?)

[BrittaPieandChips]

Just posted on the swingers thread about it, but I now confidently say that I like fetish nights. Or I liked last night, anyway. Bloody marvellous.

[MrsMoon76]

Ooooh at the posters banned from IC! I wasn't but I stopped contributing long before it shut down due to it becoming crap.

I have been on and off the scene for about 10 years but I would never post about it on fb or mention it in front of friends/family (though one cousin confronted me about my toy collection that he discovered whilst doing some work on my house - all in good fun and made him laugh).

[MultipleMama]

Cory - Nope, your not alone! Our friends and family may know but we don't give details! That's just creepy!

[cory]

Am I the only one shuddering at the thought of seeing my relatives' sexual preferences posted all over FB? Reading about Auntie Flo's sex life just seems like one step to far into sadomasochism....

[MultipleMama]

SGB - I hate them too. Just the thought of some strangers hands running over me all oily makes me shiver and cringe. Now, biting, caning, blood play and Sadomasochism (and many, many more) I adore .

[EatsCakeForNoReasonWhatsoever]

lol @ SGB - see I adore massage, I also adore rope, flogging, spanking, pinching, biting, electricity, hair pulling blah blah blah.
Not sick, just easy to turn on ;)

[SolidGoldBrass]

NANP - Who are/were you? Want to PM me for a bitching session

I find, very broadly speaking, that BDSM is a bit like horror films/rollercoaster rides etc in that some people just don't 'get' the enjoyment aspect. Not that there's anything wrong with that,of course.

I fucking hate massage. My idea of hell would be a 'pampering' day at a spa. DOesn't mean I think that the people who love massage are sick or peculiar or even boring (presuming it's not the only thing they ever talk about.)

[MultipleMama]

Britta - See I'm the opposite. DH and I experience different levels, he feel somewhat exactly like you feel. He desperately hates not being in control but when it gets too much he comes to me. We have to be careful on where we mark (among other things). Whereas I like the to have those times of being in control and when he reaches his subspace, I feel elated and high, does that make sense.

It's weird talking about this topic on MN because it's usually somewhat private and especially having other posters open up about it too. Kinda nice, in a way.

[BrittaPieandChips]

It can't be the same feeling then... I hate the dentist - that lack of control terrifies me, as does most pain - blood tests are my worst nightmare and I've never had a smear cos I am terrified and have a panic attack sometimes just thinking of it. I'm generally a big wimp who is scared of pretty much anything.

This is different. It's complete trust, not having to make any decisions, not being aware of much at all - you can lose time and basically fly It's contentment and relaxation, like having a massage, only... more.

And me, the scaredy cat wimp, can actually ENJOY thibgs that are objectively far far more painful and out of my control than the things I am scared of. I'm actually getting loads braver in day to day life cos I'm learning how to deal with fear.

DP laughs at me, because I will moan and make a big deal of stubbing my toe or a papercut, when under my clothes i am covered in bruises that I am completely happy and proud of.

[MultipleMama]

I feel subspace after birth. DH thinks it's funny to see me all loopy and blissed out... it's weird feeling that way in front an audience of medical staf...

[TheArticFunky]

I get that subspace feeling when I'm sat in the Dentist chair - it's not nice.

[NoArmaniNoPunani]

Anyone with an opinion was. Dean2001, ms tytania, rubydarling, thedavamp, ravenmuse, monkey, hierophant were just a few who I remember being banned in my time on there