It is a minority of people that are into BDSM isn't it?

[TheArticFunky]

I'm not into BDSM or anything like that, each to their own but the idea of being spanked doesn't do it for me at all.

Recently I have noticed on Facebook that lots of my friends are implying that they like being spanked or sharing daft BDSM posters.

Do you think they are genuinely into it or is it that they think they should be into it because of books like 50 shades?

I'm starting to think that everyone is at it judging by the Facebook updates.

[BertieBottsJustGotMarried]

Honestly, I have no idea what the proportion is. And TBH I'm not sure I want to know? I mean does it matter? As long as you're into broadly the same sort of things as your OH then who cares?!

[BertieBottsJustGotMarried]

And BTW, I am in my 20s and the majority of my FB friends are as well and I have never heard anything about their sex lives other than during drunken games of "I have never" (which always seem to turn sex-related among my friends )

[NotBrittaPieHonest]

Posting about it on FB is weird, yeah.

BUT, being into it is fairly standard I would have thought, at least at a low level. Being tied up with a silk scarf, or held down, or blindfolded, a bit of biting, pinching and light spanking is on the same level as maybe anal sex or using toys together or dressing up in fancy underwear - not the absolute normal day to day, but also not anything to raise an eyebrow at. Lower level on my imaginary pervy scale (that I have just this minute invented) than, say, a threesome or dressing up as a sexy nurse or something.

I'd say level one is stuff that it is unusual not to be into... PIV (obviously in a straight couple, a same sex couple would be different in various bits), oral sex, kissing, masturbation etc.

Level two is stuff that is fairly normal to be into but also not odd to not be into... this includes said mild bdsm style stuff etc

Level three is stuff that is more unusual - full on roleplay, threesomes, actual hitting with implements, strap ons, etc

Level four is the more specialist stuff - more full on BDSM, swinging, anything that requires special equipment beyond the normal Ann Summers stock, etc

Level five is the proper weird stuff, very specific fetishes, the stuff that you have to google and that would confuse people who were hearing about it for the first time.

Not that people should b judged one way or another, you are into whatever you are into, obviously. And also you could be into stuff from higher levels but not some of the stuff from lower levels. And I have only just made up this scale so it might not make sense, bt you get my jist anyway...

[TheArticFunky]

I think it is partly banter but sometimes it goes beyond that.

There was a poster being shared today that said something like "I might like to be spanked and have my hair pulled but that doesn't make me a whore it makes me fucking awesome".

Perhaps I'm just suffering from sense of humour failure.

[ThinkFirst]

I've personally not seen any BDSM posts, but my sis posted about her sex life on FB, even posted pics of her vibrators My eldest DCs saw and were shocked, I'm glad my youngest didn't see. She's now blocked on their pages.

[LEMmingaround]

Ii was into bdsm before it was fashionable. 50 shades put me off

[EatsCakeForNoReasonWhatsoever]

TheArticFunky - that doesn't make her a whore, or Awesome. It makes her indiscreet and trashy. I am totally in favour of people having fulfilling sex lives, whatever that means to them, but it ain't classy to go on about it in a public forum, and FTR, being into spanking doesn't make you awesome or whorish, it makes you (very) mildly kinky.

[BertieBottsJustGotMarried]

That sounds like banter to me although it may be true it sounds more like sex-positivism to me than anything else (although I am a bit at the way "sex-positive" often translates as "look at meeeeeeee look at all the great, alternative, kinky sex I have!")

[cuttingpicassostoenails]

I can't be doing with all this spanking nonsense. It makes me spill my Horlicks.

[TheArticFunky]

I might be overthinking this but what mildly concerns me is that I suspect people post this type of thing because they think the guys find it sexy. There is a lot of fake lesbianism posts on there and I'm sure they think it makes them look "hot" whereas I think they look tacky. I actually find the fake lesbian comments to be verging on homophobic territory.

[blendedface]

I've been into BDSM for as long as I've been having sex. I don't post about it on FB, but for a while I was part of the scene (long ago actually, before FB was around!) but if it was I might have posted about events/discussions, just as anyone would about something that was part of their lifestyle, e.g. my friends who are gay or environmental activists. It went beyond activities in the bedroom to more social events. I'm not a massive FB user but I did use a lot of online resources as part of the BDSM scene, though I always kept my identity private and it never spilled into my every day social life.

I found 50 shades terrible and nothing at all like any of my experiences.

[KissesBreakingWave]

.... not least because guys like Christian Gray? Submissives. Skewing toward the humiliation/sissification end of things, at that.

The character as written is wiiiiildly unrealistic. He'd be more likely to be looking for someone to dress him as a french maid and thrash him through the housework with a mackerel.

[MostWicked]

I love a bit of BDSM, but I would never post about it on FB! In fact I have never seen any posts from any of my FB friends about their sex lives apart from a couple of jokey posts.
If people post stuff you don't like, just hide them from your newsfeed - simple.
As for 50 shades, that was just shit.

[growingolddicustingly]

What Offred said

[SolidGoldBrass]

Bloody hell, my FB is a mixture of BDSM and Morris dancing most of the time. Just happens to be what most of my friends are into. (Not necessarily at the same time.)
As Blendedface says, the reason some people might post about their kinks on FB might be that a lot of their other FB friends are also into it. There's a fairly long history of people using the Internet to chat about BDSM and link up with other people who are into it, and it's more than likely this would spill over onto Facebook. But I also agree with Pag that, if you or elderly relatives are getting a bit 'Yaaaaargh!' about it, might be worth reminding the posters that they need to tweek their settings a little.

[Isabelonatricycle]

Fifty shades has a lot to answer for. I am interested in the milder end, and the B bit mainly - a bit of hands tied up/blind fold etc every so often. Occasional nipple clamp etc. Agree with the football analogy - I wouldn't say I'm really into it, but have dabbled. However, I certainly wouldn't be putting that anywhere near facebook!

[WeGotAnnie]

Weird that people talk about their sex lives or relationships on FB.

I'm into BDSM. 50 Shades is a piss poor representation of it. I dont even discuss it with my closest friends, let alone on FB. Good grief.

[BertieBottsJustGotMarried]

OMG I've just remembered when I was about 16 and I had a "great" idea, so I thought, to emblazon a t-shirt with some slogan involving how "lesbian" I was because I thought it would be sexy to guys and also cool and alternative. CRINGE!!

Luckily I had a friend who said, no. In no situation ever do that, it's tacky as fuck.

I am bi, BTW, so I wasn't all "pretending to be lesbian because it's cute" but it doesn't really make it any better

[NotBrittaPieHonest]

SGB, can I just say... I proper have a MN crush on you

Just wanted to share that with the group

[KissesBreakingWave]

I share NotBritta's enthusiasm, purely because of how you've put the idea of BDSM morrisdancing in my head. I want to put it in the head of the most humorously inclined morris side I can find.

And put the results on youtube.

[TheArticFunky]

I thought it went without saying that all Morris dancers were into BDSM. I always knew there was more to it than bunting and bells!

[LovesPeace]

I'm into BDSM, but I also have some class, and a professional job.

Nothing would possess me to even hint about it on FB.

[NotBrittaPieHonest]

My friend once got hit over the head with a stick by a man dressed as a crow.

In morris dancing, not bdsm.

[NotBrittaPieHonest]

What WOULD the bdsm equivalent be? Getting hit on the backside by a man dressed as a... crow? Is that a thing?

[NotBrittaPieHonest]

Or on the tit, by a man dressed as a tit?