Staying DRY

[MrsSippie]

This is a continuation of the last thread DRY We are all doing our best to abstain completely from alcohol.

Thanks no chips. Yep, I think i was tired, and knew it was going to be a long night so I joined in.
The first 2 glasses were lovely. after that I may as well have been necking paint stripper.
I had almost no sleep, got the runs, felt awful all day, and pissed off my friend who I was meant to meet today. ridiculous.
But, not drinking today, and staying with non drinking family tomorrow, so I can get my control back. It just wasn't worth it. Its laughable how not worth it it was.that makes sense to my hungover brain...
Oh, and as of yesterday morning i had lost 4 pounds despite the jelly baby habit, so that is something to think about. I am glad i have this thread.

Well, hello all. I had an epic fall off the wagon, complete with bloody injuries and a boyfriend who isn't talking to me.

Tomorrow will be Day 3. Again. But I'm here.

Hi all

Sorry to hear those who have succumbed, glad to hear all who did aren't giving up on sobriety

I am still getting thirsts but I just run through the reasons why not. It is easier for me as DH doesn't really drink and would be happy not to drink again TBH so there's no booze in the house or people drinking.

I am necking coffee like it's going out of fashion and seem to be developing a cake habit. I always thought I "lost" my sweet tooth when I was 16 and took up smoking - clearly it wasn't, I was getting my sugar from alcohol from way back then.

Still. we have been out to eat a few times and it's quite nice getting a coffee and a cake rather than downing a few amarettos or whatever they have and thinking desperately are we going to the pub now or do I need to get to an offy for something to take home. Felt quite classy! (Hah - I'm not [wink).

It's weird and hard not drinking, isn't it. And I've not had a "proper" test yet.

Sunday... I felt exactly the same about my drinking yesterday. In hind sight I was ridiculous and too get the paint stripper analogy! Yesterday I told myself the cravings felt physical. Today I feel physically much worse for having binged.
Hope you all have non eventful evenings, in the nicest possible way!

It is weird and hard. I am ironing. I do a lot more ironing when sober, I suppose that's something.

Yes I have been organising household things.Cleaned out the salad drawer in the fridge earlier and the washing pile is at an all time low.

So yes it's good from a domestic POV but, blimey, it's hard to reconcile that with my internal image of someone a bit lot I dunno like crayzee or something. Part of the problem for me TBH. I don't want to be someone whose greatest achievement is a small washing pile. I want to be exciting and fun. But TBH it was too frequently mortifying rather than fun and frankly I was way too exciting for many people who just often looked a bit scared...

Hello all.

Sorry to hear about the slip ups. But well done for continuing to post. I think I'd be tempted to run away from the thread if I drank.

Sorcha sorry to hear you're not well. You get some rest while you're off and look after YOU for a bit.

I'm scared: my real test starts tomorrow. We're going on holiday with our heavy-drinking friends. Ones I always drink with. Now I'm feeling so good after 6 weeks sober I'm going to be so tempted to have one. Which will turn into lots. Every night probably. I know I need strategies. Help help help! Just don't pick up the first drink. Stay in control. Stay healthy. Think of the DC and how much better I am when sober. Think of remembering the entire holiday, and being present for it all.

I'm very worried about slipping.

mistress, you've answered yourself, your dc,6 weeks, how you feel, remembering the holiday. I did it, went camping after about 6 weeks sobriety, everyone was pissed but me, all starting in the morning, getting offered wine, managed it.one hour, day at a time chick, you'll feel so much better after a holiday, better physically but more important emotionally.
just a word of caution, when you get back don't be complacent, think how well you did, I deserve a drink I've done that in the past not good.
if it gets abit too much seeing all the drinking, go for a walk, that works, I would take the dc down the swing park, sit and read or chill.
remember that the following morning after they're drinking, you'll be the one up first enjoying the quiet with a cuppa while they are feeling shit in bed.

to those had a slip, dust yourself down and get on with it. rewards too big to give up, you dont need telling that, you've all feltit x
best of luck, mistress, be thinking of you

After the bad news earlier in the week, we're packing up for a week away.
Would usually be a week of drinking and hangovers, instead we're planning on swimming, walking and drinking hot chocolate
Strangely not worried, just looking forward to time together, no stress
Take care all x

rachel, good plan, time together. have a nice time, be thinking of you both x

Have alovely time away Rachael. Have a good weekend Mistress. Strength everyone. I am going to be tempted too... have hurt my back lifting toddlers badly. Feel in pain, and vague and sleepy and have takeaway Indian on the agenda. Have sent DH out for a supply of Beck's Blue which i used to love when i was pg.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend.:)

hello everybody. So sorry to hear of slip ups :( it is about being 'strong' I guess, and also about how bloody easy it is to drink. I feel so much for those who have succumbed. it's the easiest thing in the world to do. i did it every day for bloody years . Sorcha, I hope you're ok. Do pm me if you want a rant. Stay with me though. We're nearly half a bloody year !!!!!

I won't bore anyone too much with my mother, suffice to say I was in tears yesterday as she was barking her orders at me to do this and do that and get this and go there and phone this person and tell that person....Got to hospital to fund her loving it! The attention she is getting is turning her into the child she actually is. She's making herself out to be a dear old lady but I can the joy she is getting from the fuss. They probably think I'm horrible as I went in there and almost threw her things (which i had made two round trips of ten miles to get and then cycled three miles to the hospital to deliver..) on to her bed and said 'is this right?' in quite a stern way. she was wittering about how she had to get out of bed but had had a 'funny turn' so didn't think she could.

ANYWAY, we re off on holiday on Monday and I have actually managed to get a few things prepared for it today ( didn't visit her, will be mud...sod it!) Am really fed up with dh at the moment as he has had a few lagers and is being slurry and boring and the smell of beer makes me feel a bit sick now - it really does.

sorry, I did so on again - argh. This is my only outlet really
Managed a couple of 5k runs these past few days but am a bit shattered. Looking forward to trying to relax ..

Have a good saturday night all. I am thinking of everyone rachael have a great break - mistress you can do it! stayingdry you're support is invaluable nochips chin up!

Everyone - xxxxx

Hello all - can I join you? I did Dry January in response to understanding that my relationship with alcohol wasn't very healthy (drink wine like water and often more than a bottle a night). February I started again, but now I'm back up to every day frequency and seem to be able to drink everything and it have no effect - not even tipsy after far too much. The hangovers still kick in though!

So, today is the first day of the 100 day challenge for me. Would be great to share some support with you.

Hi Lesson welcome. :)
It's funny. I have never even attempted a dry january as the thought of a month AF was scary- now I am happily (more or less) looking down the barrel of being AF indefinitely!

MrsSippie hope your evening went better. Rant away- using this thread as an outlet is a good thing! I am SO glad you are going on holiday. I hope you have a brilliant time.

I am okay. I had a mega strength ibuprofen which sent me loopy so was in bed very early. I have had back problems for years, and for years have refused to take any painkillers because I was worried about the state of my liver from drinking, so did not want to stress it more by adding any painkillers on top of it! So 400mg of ibuprofen knocked me sideways!! Thankfully DHis home, so I can spend the day in bed or on the sofa.

Hope everyone is having the best possible weekend.

hi lesson and welcome.
are you trying to give up drinking for life or 100 days?
morning all, its a beautiful day here to wake up sober with no guilt ridden regrets.
I woke up this morning, my dp said morning love, and it reminded me of how many times I'd woken to either a cold shoulder or verbal abuse because of what I'd done the previous night.

Morning all. Have felt good about myself this weekend, had to go to a family event on Friday night, didn't drink (excuse of work event yesterday) and had to go to work event yesterday and didn't drink (excuse of another piece of work today). How I will ever get from 'excuses' to not even needing an excuse, I can't fathom. But I will have to just let myself get there.

My chap is still avoiding me somewhat. He says he just feels very 'wary' of me, and I can't understand why. As in, I am racking my brains: did I call him while on a bender (no) did I text him rubbish or abuse (no) - then what can I have done? But then I know it's got to be about the booze, because that's what happens with me.

So it's got to be this: the fact that I think of it as more or less 'normal behaviour' to go for a few drinks, get 'carried away', stay out till five am, stagger home, neglect to text him at any point, sleep through my alarm, drunkenly text in sick to work, then get around to telling him I'm still alive. Stubborn me refuses to see that it's any of his business really. We don't live together, after all. And yet: it must be horrible for him. I don't know how to go about taking responsibility for that. Telling him I'm not drinking any more will hardly help. He's heard that before.

But today: we are DRY.

I hope you have a relaxing break, Rachael, and that it gives you and your dh time to come to terms with the news x

Welcome lessons

Such a beautiful day! I have a friend coming over later for a dog walk in the sunshine.

Rabbit, once you've got a little time under your belt (not that much time even) could you bring yourself to tell people that you've decided to quit drinking? No need to make a big song and dance of it. I don't know how old you are but I'm mid 40s and no-one seems to bat an eye if I say I don't drink. If questioned I say it's because it doesn't agree with me, which is doesn't I sometimes allude to a somewhat wild past - I've been in my job less time than I've been sober (on and off) so my colleagues have only known me as someone who doesn't drink. I'm certainly not the only one but it never occurs to me to question why other non-drinkers don't.

I've had a mare getting in here since the security breach Couldn't get into my email cos that password didn't work, then couldn't get into the email address that a new password for the first email would be sent to lol. Blimmin' heartbleed Sorted it all this morning thankfully.

Hi everyone, the 100 days thing comes from some of the reading I've been doing about sobriety - telling myself and everyone else that I'm giving up drinking for good seems far too unobtainable - whereas if I can do 100 days (and I'm pretty sure if I can do 31 days I can do 100) it feels like a more achieveable goal. For sure, a month AF didn't do anything to reset my attitude to alcohol which is not a healthy one. Maybe after 100 days I'll wake up and suddenly be one of those people who can stop after 1 and only drink occasionally - but I doubt it! MrsSippie I know how all that feels - everything a little more real day by day.

Hi everyone. Just checking in again to say hi. I am tired and sick and fed up with my back. It is sunny out there! Hope everyone is having a good day.

Rabbit that is a tough situation. Not sure what to say. Give him space? Invite him around for a really open talk? But you are feeling good about not drinking and about who you are this weekend. That is great. :)

Quick question- for the people who have been sober longer.. what do you do in the evenings? So far I have been going to bed super early. I am hoping to get out of that phase soon! I have just ordered some tapestry kits on the web to keep my hands busy and to try and do something 'productive' with my time. I COULD do work after DC is in bed- i am sure it would do wonders for my career, but I think that would drive me back to drink pretty bloody quickly. I want to join a reading group, but would need childcare as DH works away during the week.

Oh... just thought- I have thousands of photos from over the years without homes.... might be photo album assembly time.

Just curious what people do really. :) Looking for ideas.

Thank you lovely people, your support is really helpful. I think I have to be careful not to put the cart too much in front of the horse just yet.

I run, or go to the gym or cinema, nochips. But then I'm not the crafty sort, I think.

I will have to be open, I think, and also careful of his feelings without getting into the kind of blaming-myself spiral that results in him having to reassure me. But it'll be while yet, he's out of the country next week. The week after that we're going on holidays. Which is a great opportunity to talk, but obviously another potential flashpoint. I just have to keep trusting it will all be well.

nochips last time I did this I found myself cooking from scratch a lot more, and batch baking. I also cleared out closets and bookcases and gave my life a bit of a spring clean, ran regularly, and learned to love early nights with a scented candle and good book.

Fiddling with my vaping liquids and batteries keeps my hands busy in the evenings. I used to go to A.A, but the meetings here are out of the question. Hoping to start going to an all-women gym which is opening soon. At least while it's warm and sunny.

I posted this on the thread in Chat but it's so amazing I thought I'd share. Look how gorgeous and happy this sober blogger looks after eight weeks!

Thanks everyone. :) Hope you have a lovely holiday Rabbit... where will you be going? I hope you have a great time.

lessons i agree about the baking.... I have NEVER baked.I am now making cakes like crazy! There is a honey almond cake in this month's Country Living, which is tomorrow's plan.....yum. YYto cleaning as well. I usually am catatonic in the evenings. i have cleaned the kitchen every night after dinner instead of waiting until morning hungover

Blue those photos are amazing. She looks 10 years younger at least! Her skin is luminescent! Iam off to read the thread in chat...

Hope everyone s well and fine this evening. :)

Evening all,

Sorry to intrude and hope you don't mind. Hoping you can possibly give me some ideas. If this isn't the right place then I'm sorry, but can't seem to find a suitable thread, so here goes....

I'm trying to give my MIL some emotional and practical support as my SIL is becoming an alcoholic. She is out of work, lives with PIL and is now drinking in her bedroom during the day, not every day, but regularly drinks to the point of passing out and bed wetting. Whenever they go out, say for a walk, they have to stop at the pub. This has been slowly becoming more noticeable and problematic over the past five years. A close family member died of alcohol related illness.

MIL is distraught, feels guilty and worried as whatever she says to SIL has no effect on her drinking. She feels like she is not being a proper mum to SIL.

PIL has head buried in sand. The rest of the family keep saying 'chuck SIL out' 'be firm' 'drag her to AA' and putting even more pressure on MIL who cannot disengage (and I don't blame her - it's her daughter).

SIL went to the GP with MIL this week, which I think is a positive, but on the way there was saying that she didn't need to go to AA and didn't have a problem. She minimised to the GP how much she was drinking and MIL didn't dare contradict her in front of the GP for fear of causing a row. She has been prescribed AD's and offered counselling again (she didn't go last time).

The next day, MIL found her passed out drunk in bed with a full glass of vodka by the bed. Am I right in thinking that until the person who has the problem with drinking realises it, there is not much anyone else can do?

In the meantime, how can we educate ourselves, help SIL and support MIL? I would be really grateful if you have any ideas or advice.

That's very sad for you all artisan. You are right that until then alcoholic accepts it,there is not a lot anyone can do. Al-anon may be an option - I believe it helps a lot of families. I don't know what else to suggest but do know what it's like to be like your SIL-she doesn't want to stop, she's probably scared to stop and she will probably be thoroughly horrible to you all :-(
Sorry not to be more help. I hope you all get through this.

We are off today! Mother reduced me to tears again yesterday but I am putting her firmly behind me and intended to enjoy myself. I was so tempted to have a cigarette and a nice cold cider in the garden yesterday after visiting her but ran instead! Still isn't quite the same but I am almost there.

I hope everyone has a great week. Xx