Staying DRY

[MrsSippie]

This is a continuation of the last thread DRY We are all doing our best to abstain completely from alcohol.

mrsSIppie, have a wonderful holiday, stay safe, serene, and enjoy the family sober xxx be thinking of you

artisan, you are right, she has to admit she's alcoholic and wants to get it sorted. until then unfortunately you are all on a losing battle. she has to reach her rock bottom, whether thats losing her home and family I can't say. It was for me.
I agree that al anon is a good move for your mil. if you go on the AA website, find your local meeting and get to that quick. also I'd advise ringing AA helpline straight away, ever so helpful. If I hadn't I wouldn't have the life I have now, and I am only 7.5 months sober.
AA saved me, I am not exaggerating. I know other alcoholics family that go al anon and get alot from it.
I wish you all the luck in the world, please let us know how it goes.
one thing though, you sil is ill, alcoholism is a progressive illness. The brain is wired up differently to a normal drinker, once shes picked up that 1st drink, all bets are off, end of

Thank you very much for your replies. I will speak to MIL about Al Anon and get us both to the meeting.

Interesting about the brain being wired differently. I've noticed SIL has no 'off switch' once she has had one drink. There's no sense of "I'll stop now as I've had enough / it's late/I have a headache" like I would do.

Hi all

Just checking in again. All OK here still. I can't believe it really. Just checked upthread and I think this was Day 23 Honestly I'm amazed.

Hello Dippy if you are around how's it going?

Artisan I have heard as well that Al-Anon are really good for family / people close to alcoholics. The "no off switch" thing is the case for me and always has been, I imagine the same is true for many on this thread. Some of us are wired differently I think, just how it is, unfortunately. Hence the thread being dry rather than trying to get to a normal level - for some people that's just never ever going to work.

Good luck

Well done on 23 days NiceTabard

The bracelet / talisman I posted a picture of is back in stock and will be dispatching soon from Europe - postage costs built in. My first treat for the two week mark!

NiceTabard

artisan, tabards right, an alcoholic is wired differently. Once we've had that 1st drink we have no control, what we do have control of however is not to take that 1st drink.
I realise its hard to get your head around but its as simple as that.
23 days, absolutely fantastic the sun is shining, you are sober, no regrets from last night, no recriminations, isn't that great, so simple but so bloody marvellous
have a great safe day all xx

Morning all.

Yes, I agree with what everyone says. I am wired differently to other people. One is not enough. I do actually find it easier to not have the first drink. I can never understand people who will say 'just one, I am driving'. I simply cannot do that. If I had one, then it would all be over.

Sun is shining here too. :) Happy, healthy, sober days everyone.

The sunshine usually makes me think of sitting in a beer garden or at an outdoor cafe with a glass of chilled and refreshing white.

In reality I have never had one glass of wine. It would be three and then buying more to take home. Then the inevitable...

One is too many and ten's not enough. I need to reprogramme myself.

Morning all!

I can't describe the guilt I feel for not being able to stop at that one drink. It is as if it defines (and shames) me in a way that I suppose must be disproportionate to the cause. Which is just that I'm not wired that way. But the judgement (from ourselves, from others) - god, it's so hard. Artisan, I hope your SIL finds her way, and I have no knowledge of Al-Anon, but I do think it could help your family a lot. It must be a frightening thing loving one of us, I sometimes think.

Still dry. BlueSky, yes I know that feeling. One drink....one never-ending drink.

nochips we're going to Italy, I am actually not too anxious about the booze side of things as it's a sports-based break rather than anything, so alcohol won't be a central pillar of the thing.

My lovely chap is being so kind to me. We haven't exactly talked things through or anything, but I think he understands there's something going on that I need to just have my own time to deal with before I come to him. He's a much more emotionally intelligent person than I am, and I rely on him for that. For me, emotions are essentially those things I drink to get rid of.

Hi all.

Home again. Didn't drink "properly" after my mega-slip, but did actually have "just one" at my cousins, at dinner. They don't really drink, and the bottle of wine of the table at dinner really is just one bottle.
It was very good wine, and I would have LOVED another, but went to bed feeling virtuous even though it wasn't my choice, as after one glass everyone else stopped. Weirdos!
So, 8 days, minus one and a bit?
Oh well. Still way less booze consumed than a normal week.

I still know I don't have a healthy relationship with wine, but also still not really sure if I am an actual alcoholic, as a bottle tends to be my limit.
Doesn't matter really, as a break can only do me good. And I wouldn't say that it is easy. Interestingly, when we stayed with the heavy drinkers I did say I hadn't been drinking, and was trying not to, and my friend said "I wish I could do that, but I just can't", which is a bit how I have always felt; like it's a nice idea to drink less and be healthy, but never gonna happen.

It could though, maybe probably.

V. jealous about Italy Rabbit!

Hello! Enjoy Italy Rabbit. :) A dream of mine.

So glad that your chap is being kind and there for you. That is great. You sound really chipper. :)

Today is going to be hard for me. I have been AF for ages. DH went away for work today, my usual MO is to open wine and drink. Here is the stupid thing, I don't actually WANT to drink, but I am all jumpy like the habit is going to overwhelm me. I keep telling myself that I hate how I feel when I drink. I LOVE LOVE LOVE not drinking. Where is this compulsion coming from?

I am NOT going to drink. If I have to go to bed at 7 pm then I will go to bed at 7, but I am not succumbing today.

X-post Sunday.

I vote that a success Sunday. :) You could have thrown it all away, but you got it back.

I am chipper, chips. Mmm, chipper chips...

This weekend I will be visiting family for Easter and I am going to be brave about not drinking. Thankfully I am training for a big event at the moment, so I will use that as an excuse. Although in fairness I always managed to fit training in around my drinking in the past.

Which brings me to finally be able to talk about something I've hesitated writing down before, because it's very painful. Which is that while my lovely chap and I don't live together at the moment due to him trying to sell his house and me living somewhere else finishing my PhD, we have been TTC for a considerable amount of time, without success.

At least if I was drinking I wouldn't have to bear the hopeful glances. They're going to break my fucking heart.

Do people know you are TTC Rabbit?

Am just thinking of another excuse other than the training if you need it.

For me I often say 'nah... on a health kick....'.

No, my family don't, chips. It's just that if there was a logical time to be trying, in terms of the rest of our lives, it would be exactly now. I am hopeful they will be sensitive and discreet, but that fear is a bit overwhelming. The fear of sticking out like a sore thumb, you know? Combined with the fear of accidentally ending up in a conversation about things I am not ready to talk about. HELLO, ME DRINKING TO SQUASH MY FEELINGS.

I think they will accept the training reason, we've always been pretty serious about stuff like that.

Hi all,
Had posted on the first thread with a real problem getting past the first 4 days, repeatedly, but still reading. This is day 4 and would be the first time dry for 4 days in more years than I would care to remember. But today is just another day. Get moistening mouth, Pavlov-style when I see or think of a glass of red wine. If I've learned to do this I can un-learn it.

WOW SLOGAN!!!

One is too many and ten's not enough

Perfect. Fits me to a tee An excellent reminder of why having "just one" is not not not an option.

Out of interest. I am a bit bored. Is anyone else a bit bored? I think I need some more interests or something. And my brain is thinking more as it's not always struggling with drunk / hungover / OMG what have I done this time, and I'm not sure what to think about. That sounds really stupid doesn't it

Anyone started any new hobbies or got new interests or anything lately?

I should laminate that slogan, and carry it round with me.
Just been to Tesco Express to get some salad dressing - walked down the Aisle of Death and out the other side.

I was asking the same thing too! I find the same. Kind of 'now what?' How on EARTH will i fill in all this time that I am not using up drinking?

I am going mad reading sobriety blogs. I have taken loads of photos lately and have uploaded them to a friend's photo blog. I am really looking for stuff to do in the evenings too. Something that really fulfills me.

what do you like to do NiceTabard? What hobbies did you used to have?

From 16 my hobby was going out, drinking, smoking, recreational drugs, blokes. It was fun while it lasted! But I don't think any of those are really suitable now!

Always loved reading and still do a lot of reading.

Um.

Watching Buffy the vampire slayer?

Maybe I need to do something in the evenings that involves going out... DH works shifts though so can't be something that is every week.

Um.

What do normal people do???!!!

What do you think you would like to do, nochips? Evening class/distance learning, fitness stuff, charity or political activism, dancing...?

Are you able to get away in the evenings for something regular?

I am actually at a bit of a loss as to what I want to do. I started a list the day I stopped drinking actually that is on my desktop unimaginatively titled; 'Things I want to do'

This is the list;

1. Start a blog
2. go on picnics
3. go to NT places
4. Spain! Plan our trip.
5. investigate an allotment
6. keep guinea pigs
7. do highland walks
8. book club
9. learn to sew or knit.
10. read all my books again and car boot sale obsolete ones.

I sort of plan to try these things. We have already had a picnic this past weekend, and that was great. I need something for the evenings though. I bought a tapestry kit online and it arrived today, so I hope to do that. I have never done anything like that before in my life!

I am not sure if I can get out of the house for evening classes.... DH is away during the week, so the organizing of a sitter etc would just hinder it a bit. I used to belong to a book club and had to give it up because of that. I thought I could start one at my house- but all my book club-type friends will be expecting some serious wine drinking!

Good for you getting the tapestry thing! Hope you enjoy it. Let us know how you get on. You could upload a picture!!!!

I should have a proper think about this. Thing is TBH in the evenings I'm a bit slumped after work anyway so there's a question of being a bit realistic as well!!!