Staying DRY

[MrsSippie]

This is a continuation of the last thread DRY We are all doing our best to abstain completely from alcohol.

You're doing great, NiceT - and yes, I have to remind myself that not drinking doesn't magically transform me, either! Three weeks in, I'm 2lbs UP. On the other hand, I am starting - just, tentatively, now - to notice that I actively want to take up a hobby again, and I've developed a distaste for really junky food (my tastebuds seem to be working better, so things like salt and vinegar crisps taste too strong and oily), so with a little bit of patience...

Morning lovely sober ones!

I agree, best to try to chill out about piling on the pounds in the early days. Going up a dress size is far better than drinking. End of story. And IME it sorts itself out eventually. I am just over 2 years sober and weight is back to normal again now/substitute food cravings & general weirdness has passed. Took a while - and definitely found I did seem to transfer booze obsession with a food one - but trying to be kind to yourself and just accepting it rather than getting really het up about it seemed to be the best policy in my case anyway. Bloody irritating when you assume that new, sober you will equal clear-skinned, slim, perfect person (suspect we all have those fantasies), but still….

Morning
Day 5 here.

I am putting on weight too. Everything is tight. It's not really the 5 days of not drinking, more the way I was over-eating my way through viral fatigue the past few weeks. But I am slightly getting the "treat" mentality - if it's not booze it doesn't matter what I shove in my face - which is not really more functional than my previous weight management system - constant fiendish dieting like a bastard, with the only treat allowed being booze (because it would be unthinkable to cut that out) and so massive overindulgence in that (perhaps partly fuelled by hunger, and by constant denial in other areas?)

Impressed by your week, NiceTabard.

I am going to need some help today, staring down the barrel of the weekend.

Just one final whinge: among the visions of the perfect sober me, about which I must manage my expectations - the idea of a me who wakes up in the morning and is not tired. Yes I would rather be a bit tired than have a grinding, dizzy, nauseous hangover. But springing out of bed fresh as a daisy - aint gonna happen.

things I know about me, with or without drinking:

I am not a morning person
I have a tendency to put on weight
I have dodgy stamina and find things really overwhelming at times

Other things I know about me, without drink only

I can play music
I can write and be creative

(These are things I did as a child and as a teenager; I tried to do them as an adult but "never had time"; I can do them in 5 days of not drinking apparently. I have years of my life left to do them!)

Have a good day everyone x

Good morning everyone! Heading in to my 4th sober weekend, really chuffed I've made it this far along the road.

Yup, another one here who hasn't lost weight, in fact like Tortiose I've gained 2lbs. I've woken up all this week with a stinking headache, really struggling to get off to sleep on a night and have generally felt like poo. I'm a bit miffed because I had high hopes that by the end of week 3 I'd be slinking around the place like the woman off the 80s Timotei advert; flicking my freshly-washed hair over my shoulder, looking all radiant whilst climbing on horseback and charging across meadows and fields without a care in the world

But, and it's a big but... I am so relieved not to wake up with guilt, fear and remorse, not frantically checking my phone/FB to see what cringe-inducing antics I've been up to, no waking up feeling like I'm about to vomit all over my pillow. My skin is clearer, my hands don't shake any more, I feel a better mum to my DCs, my anxiety is all but vanished and I'm noticing the extra money from not pissing (literally ) vast amounts away down the toilet.

There was a moment last weekend I felt really fucking angry at myself, the old "why can't you just be a normal drinker, you've gone and spoiled everything for yourself", I felt like crying, felt alone and lost. But it passed and I woke up the next morning pleased that I'd rode the storm (which only lasted about an hour anyway). The nagging drinking voice is definitely quietening down now though which is reassuring as in the first week it was booming away all day long, to the point I thought I was going to go mad listening to it.

Sorry to ramble on, it's great to see so many people on here posting, wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend

Yep. Snap. Another one who has also put on 2 pounds. I am also stuffing my face thinking it does not matter as I have stopped drinking.

I am really struggling in the evenings, and am also angry with myself 'why can't you be normal?' I really agree with what everyone else has said.

What nice plans for the weekend?

Me- have a project to finish.... about 10 hours worth I think.
On the agenda;

-plant strawberry plants
-decide if I have room for a teeny tiny vegetable plot
-take DS swimming
-pub lunch with DH, I am driving. :)

• something else...... not sure. I need to fill the days with activities I enjoy.

I'm eating what I fancy as well; I think the weight gain for me is my digestive system adjusting to regular meals as opposed to a poisonous liquid diet! I think my stomach is shouting 'Hey, food! Quick, store it just in case it's a while before any more nutrition comes my way!"

I'm off this weekend so I'm going to paint the bathroom, starting today by prepping the woodwork for glossing. I'm hopeful that my newly-acquired steady hands will make for a good job

Swimming with DS tomorrow and lots of taxi driving my DDs around over the weekend I suspect. Also planning on a meal out at some point, really got a taste for a cheese board!

We're having MIL for Sunday lunch - we were going to take her out and I was going to use driving as a way not to be tempted to drink - but of course all the places we want to go are booked up and rather than go somewhere naff we agreed it would be easier and nicer to make her something lovely at home. this is great in theory but now I have to deal with the alcohol issue without the car as cover (cover for me, I don't mean explaining myself to anyone)

Another ramble here, sorry! But I've always noticed how much alcohol features in soaps, I used to use it to justify my own intake, as in "Oh they're having a large glass of wine or 4 on a week night, it's acceptable and normal, why worry so much" and use it as an excuse to crack on. When I stopped drinking a few weeks ago it made me feel pissed off that these characters were all boozing willy-nilly and I was sat with my glass of lime and soda.

But you never see these characters waking up with dog breath and grey faces, nor do you see them frantically tipping the house apart at 7am hunting for clean PE kits that are actually sat festering under damp towels in the wash basket, nor do you see them retching over the toilet or sat with the runs vowing tonight's going to be different....shame that

Bones I think the best thing you can keep doing when thinking of the meal and possible alcohol is remember to play the film to the end in your head. It's something that keeps me on an even keel, in particular remembering how desperate and ill I felt the last time I drank. Even going back and reading your posts on here and how rotten you felt after drinking might help cement your decision not to pick up on Sunday?

Day 87 here. Still ok and no real urge to drink (I think that stopped around week 3). I do have dreams sometimes that I buy some booze and am trying to hide it from people and every now and then if I have a night out I think I could sneak a drink before going out and noone would know... But I made the decision myself not to drink this year and so I will stick to it!

I have also put on weight which is very annoying as I need to lose it badly! Since I stopped smoking as well I guess I will feel very deprived if I start dieting. But health wise I need to. It is 40 weeks till the end of the year so if I lose 1.5lb a week I will be very near goal weight by NYE.

I have been finding my anxiety has come back in a big way in the last few weeks. I was hoping no drinking would make this better so it is very disappointing. I guess I have nothing to silence the worry voices in my head nowadays. Need to face up to what is really bothering me (I am rubbish at working out why I am pissed off/upset etc as I bury my feelings so much). Seeing my counsellor in 10 days so will have a good chat about it.

Well done everyone - keep up the good work :)

I've put on a bit of weight too!

Very anxious about this weekend, as I have several big social occasions to get through. I'll be working hard at keeping myself together.

And hope you all have a lovely weekend!

I am currently hanging on to the idea of not having a hangover on Sunday

Another one gaining weight here!

However, my wine money has just been spent on a new hairdo!! Feeling good!

My Friday and Saturday night will be spent on night shifts - so easy not to think about drinking - Sunday is a pub meal with family. Mum, my partner and daughter know about me no longer drinking, so they have promised to keep my soda and lime topped up!!

Well done everyone, and here's to a sober weekend

How many days have there been in 2014 so far? That's the amount of days I've not had alcohol. I can't be arsed to work it out! but feel free to if you want.

Got a 40th coming up of a very close mate and it'll be the first time I've been in the company of all my (lad) friends since I've given up the booze. Peer pressure has led to many a night of popping out for a pint turning into a massive session and 3 day hang over. I want those days to be behind me so I must be strong.

Hi newbie

31 + 28 + 29 = 88

WELL DONE!

Just checking back in a little feverishly, as I think I have had my last call / meeting of the day so the weekend is beckoning me with a touch of euphoria

SlippedDisco I totally agree with you about alcohol on soaps. They are all constantly knocking it back - no one every orders anything soft. And yet they hardly ever deal with the daily reality of it. Every now and then you get an over-the-top and not v. realistic 'alcoholic' storyline, but rarely. No portrayal of the depressing, lonely, sad reality of a lot of the daily drinking (often covered up and done by women) that is going on. Never touched on. Have often thought the same!

Yes, I have thought the same too. Also, reading about wine in books. (chick lit) It makes me justify my consumption to myself, like it is a 'normal amount'.

Yay Rachael on the hairdo!

yay newbie 88 days!!! That is really pretty impressive.

and 87 days Angry! i honestly cannot imagine ever getting that far.You all are an inspiration.

I am okay today. Had one wibble but it was so minor and I got through it quite okay. But have a headache. Am currently in bed re-reading Little Women and drinking chamomile tea. That seems like such self-indulgence. :)

Night everyone. Hope you are all well and fine and see you tomorrow.

I think I might go to bed in a minute I'm not sure what else to do.

This is another thing I struggle with. I used to be out all the time, drinking, smoking, drugs, clubbing, blokes you name it.

Now I don't smoke, don't take drugs, rarely go out, and am married. If I give up drinking as well, I kind of feel, well who am I then?

I mean I know who I am and it's all fine. Just sort of giving up the last thing that connects me to when I was young free and single IYSWIM.

I know it's silly.

What is this now, Day 6? Phew!

Day 6.
Yesterday evening I actually had a glass of wine in my hands. I am such an idiot. Sanity kicked in and I put it down and had fizzy water.

It feels good to have succeeded (so far) and I have had a really busy morning (which was part of what was in my head when I ditched the wine). but I can't say I feel physically great. Absolutely banging headache and very tired.

Loving the sun though, and loving no guilt.

Nochips how about you?

Nicetabard - did you go to bed? Howare you today?

How is everyone else?

Will need to be sensible later.

Bleeding heck.

In the interests of full disclosure.

We decided not to go out for lunch. Roast chicken tonight instead. DH made us sandwiches and poured a glass of wine and I shared it with him.

Bangs head.

Seriously I had said yes before thinking, and by the time I realised I had said yes I did not care.

It's made me feel a bit dizzy and I am back on tea. The self sabotage is breathtaking.

I cannot BELEIVE I have to start again with Day Bleeding 1. See, the self recriminations simply do not make it worth it.

bones I don't feel physically great either, and am tired. I mean, I always used to feel rough obviously, but went at it even though bedtime was 2am pissed every day and I'd get up and go to work I don't know how I did it.

Now I am going to bed at 9 and reading til about 11 and I'm so tired.

Is there a sort of period where your body gets better or something?

You can do it Bones weekends are tough though.

nochips, whoops. Still. Keep at it. Does your husband know you are stopping, can't you say to him not to offer it to you?

Just realised this is 7 days - a week! So the longest in probably more than 20 years, apart from my 2 pregnancies. And I am only 40. Christ.

No, he does not know WHY I am stopping. I have whittered about losing weight for our holiday, saving some money, trying to be healthier etc. But he does not know the extent of how miserable I am with alcohol.

Anyway. Okay. Lessom learned. I thought I was on top of it. I had all the strategies for the 'usual' times of drinking. Then an out of the ordinary temptation derailed me. And, I did not particularly enjoy the wine. And I am beating myself up.

Where is the pleasure in that?

No pleasure.

Back to dry. With no lingering regrets and armed against myself.

Could you tell him? If possible getting him on-message would be a help so you haven't got to fend off offers in your home IYSWIM.

Keep at it though. Once you've reached a certain point of being just so sick of it, it has to be done. You want to do it, you can do it, so do it. You will feel proud of yourself and it will be great.

Have you read allen carr? I have ordered the book for booze, but only read the first page. I read his smoking book and it totally changed my attitude towards my smoking addiction.