The Dating game - welcome all daters to the DATING THREAD 70!!!

[girliefriend]

Thought it was my turn to start the thread!!

Hi to all on this thread..can I ask question please? Namely; if you went out on two dates with a guy and neither time did he walk you back to your parked car afterwards (very late evening) would it put you off him? I am a feminist and not remotely bothered about walking back alone, but if it was me I would always walk a female friend back just to be polite so I'm a bit hmm about it actually...

Appears to me anyone that obsesses this much from only 1 message exchange really doesn't value themselves very highly. In this I mean, with absolute love & kindness that if you know you're valuable you wouldn't care / worry / stress / obsess over someone who does not see your value!

By the way; you can't "just really liked everything ... " - you like the words he chose!!! Words are easy ... action! It's all in the action!

Ah good luck - find your real value, then pitch!

blossom and jarlin me too I'm in my late late fourties and tired of being single. I find it annoying when friends, sister ect say it's not all bad, there's a lot to be said for it ect ect, when they are all coupled up!
Most of them have never been on their own for any length of time either

It's just the having someone to share with, go on holiday with, spend time off with. Anyway rant over, have a great day everyone

Hi, can I join?

Goatprophecy, that would put me off. It isn't very chivalrous. And someone being 5'3" would also put me off, but that guy sounds sweet so maybe worth giving him a go.

I have been single for 5 years apart from a fling with my ex that produced DS. Decided to get back into the dating game, joined guardian soulmates, went out with one guy for 2 months but never slept with him and then realised that though a lovely guy, there just wasn't that connection. Then met someone at a wedding in jan and took him home that night. Actually was only thinking about having sex as it had been 2 years. Anyway, he has been keen to meet since, so we have been out on 4 dates. I didn't hugely fancy him the first time but now, am really into him.

He has suggested lunch on Friday this week as he has the day off, with DS too - he has met DS. Does that sound like he is cooling off, to go from evening dates to lunch? I feel so out of practice, plus dating as a single parent is weird - knowing that we come as a package and him being a 34 year old man with no kids. It is hard to see how he would be into me.

Im late 40's and don't like being on my own either. I decided to do something about it and joined a local group through www.meetup.com there are lots of local groups and well worth going along to meet like minded people.

Ooh I have been really irritated on dates by men being 'chivalrous'.

My exH was like that, and prided himself on his chivalry, except it was rooted in a firm belief that women are more delicate and less capable etc, than men.

Goat I don't think going from evening dates to lunch is a sign he's cooling off. That's a very odd way of looking at it, I don't think that would even occur to me! If anything, I'd see it as the opposite - he's choosing to spend his day off with you and your son. And a lunch date can always extend into an afternoon activity if it's all going well.

I do think 4 dates is far too soon to introduce someone to your son though... I've been seeing someone for 4

Folkgirl, my son is 15 months so I guess I just thought he wouldn't really be aware of who he was etc. I always have people round so he's met loads of different friends of mine. Currently, he would have no idea that this guy is different from other male or female friends of mine. His dad isn't around at all.
But maybe you are still right - I have thought that if this doesn't work out, I would keep any potential dates separate from my son for at least 6 months. I think even in 6 months time, DS will be much more aware and it wouldn't be right.
And I agree re the chivalry thing in the context of women being more delicate. But I think it is good manners to walk someone to their car at night.
And that's good re your thoughts on lunch - as I say, I am very out of practice. I do need to be told to get a grip!

Polly don't worry I agree with folk that he still seems keen.

I too couldn't date a short man, however gorgeous he was! Like the feeling of being protected.

No I don't like being alone much either but with a very demanding 13 month old DS who sleeps in my bed hard to find a balance really

Polly my DS is also the result of a brief fling! His dad is in touch since we did the DNA test and proved he was his but hey that's another thread....

I can't do short men either. I'm 5ft 9 , they really have to be taller than me. Same height is a pain as I like to wear heels .

I have a friend that brought her young child on dates with her polly. I personally wouldn't have anyone meet my kids til at least 6 months, but everyone is different and you have to do what works for you. I too think he sounds keen.

Morning, hope you all have a lovely day. Still not heard from MrScottishaccent, and will sit on my hands if I get tempted to text him. In the meantime I have arranged telephone chat with the hot guy tonight, who did text me loads last night and first thing this morning before going to work, also exchanging messages with another who is errr a bit cheeky, fun though.
Of welcome polly I would not worry too much about your son noticing anything he is too young enjoy the luxury of that, my son ins 13 and very nosy about my dating antics, proving very difficult if I wanted to bring someone back even for a coffee. And X seems to have suddenly become difficult when found out about me seeing people. ( probably thinks I should still be weeping over him the dick)

Hi all

My leg is finally feeling better - yay me!!

Right onto business

Thegoat after 2 dates that wouldn't put me off, some fellas might feel a bit awkward about following you back to your car! Do you like him otherwise? Any snogging yet?!

Polly that chap sounds promising to me, of course he can be in to you and as your son is a baby can see that a lot of the dating type stuff will just go over his head. I dated someone when my dd was a baby (she was a year when we met and 18months when we split up) He met dd a lot sooner than a bloke would now meet her (she is now 8yo) and the whole thing when she was a baby went totally over her head.

Jarlin glad you are feeling a bit better, I really don't think that bloke is the right one for you, I reckon you would be good with a younger chap! I would reply to that text by saying something along the lines of the chemistry not being right and you wish him lots of luck in finding the right one for him in the future.

My chap is shorter than me I think he is 5ft 7in and I am about 5ft 8in so its marginal really, I couldn't go out with someone who was 5ft 3in that would be too much of a difference!!

Well, thanks for the reassurance!
I haven't ever brought him on dates dippintoe - we've been for dinner twice and to a few gigs, but he has met him in the mornings

I basically went from being celibate for 2 years and having a 2 month fling with nothing more than kissing, to the total opposite!

Blossomflowers, this one is a mrscottishaccent too. I can totally imagine how difficult dating gets with kids as they get older.

Hormonalhell, wow, DNA tests sound heavy. My ex never denied paternity, but after trying to persuade me to get an abortion and saying all sorts of rubbish about me ruining his life and my future child's life and mumbling about genetic deafness in his family, I took him to counselling. He said he understood my decision and was just in shock after that then never responded to another message! So I have left it until the point when DS wants to meet him. There are a few mumsnet threads about this from a few years ago!! Don't you think it is hard trying to date as a single mum with such young DC - or maybe it is just me overcomplicating things as usual!

Just to clarify the last sentence, I find it hard as suddenly I am not just me, I am me + DS and from the second date, he has seen me in my dressing gown having breakfast and playing with DS. Normally I'd be trying to keep up a more glamorous image so early on, but this is me now, warts and all.

Does that make sense?

It is hard to date with young children .. my two are 2 & 4 , so im only free everyother weekend. Work full time 5 days a week and no evenings off. I have had a guy here when kids are in bed , but I worry about them coming downstairs .
Sometimes it can be easier to get used to reality soonet rather than later , as you haven't just built a 'relationship' of you and him , he ggets used to having your ds about.

I agree dippin my dd has just met Smallfeet and we have been seeing each other for nearly 4 months. My dd has no contact with her dad so I get no evenings or wends off unless I can get a babysitter.

Makes getting any relationship off the ground very tricky

The trouble is you can be going out with someone for a year and think yes this is the one, then introduce him to your kids and find out he is is hopeless around them and they hate him!! Likewise you can introduce them sooner rather than later and it strengthen your relationship.

I guess you have to trust your instincts and be sensible but the risk of your children getting attached and then being hurt if it doesn't work out will be a risk however long you have been going out.

I have a date I have a date I have a date. Now I'm going to go completely nuts about how fat I am. I did say on my profile "I am not a slender woman".

That's exciting Loispuddinglane. Where are you going?
Girliefriend and dippinmytoe, it is a minefield!

Great news lois if you have been honest and he still wants to meet you, then all good. When and where, is it all arranged?

It'll just be a quick drink later this week - we both work in the same city but I live in a different city about 30 miles away.

So I've got time to lose three stone, right?

I said this to someone last week lois that many sites ask you for your body type, sounds like you have been honest. There are many men out there that like ladies, you are what you are, just try and relax and enjoy the date.

Someone please slap me stop me texting mrSA, I am bemused why he has not been in touch. I think many people have gone through this where it is full on then nothing

I know how uou feel blossom re not wanting to text, I haven't heard from mr flash since yest morn , despite being on whatsapp !! However I am def not contacting.

Lois I too have weight to loose.. but I have found on recent dates that men find it attractive if you are confident with it ! Having said that I'm still very much single and am back to slimming world tomorrow

I'm going to listen to Pharrell Williams "Happy" all the way to the date. The video is so great and it makes me feel good.

How long have you been seeing mr Flash, dippy.
Last text I have from MRSA was early evening saying he is calling me later when kids go home, someone last night was saying men are just like this, really?