The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Wading Through Winter Blues Without The Booze!

[Mouseface]

I'm Mouse, nice to meet YOU.

This is a thread for those who want to give up drink completely, or are maybe thinking about doing controlled drinking, or cutting down slowly, it's all up to you. And of course all addictions, so if you are taking drugs of any kind, prescription or otherwise, you're very welcome here too!

You know your limits, you know what is required, it's all in YOUR hands.

Whatever your goal, you'll find unconditional support here. Always. :)

There will be talk of drinking quite often and those who fall off the Bus will post about it, so if that is going to jeopardise your chances of complete sobriety, then maybe the DRY threads would suit you better, as they are complete abstainers, but EVERYONE IS WELCOME HERE :)

There are two sayings that we rather like here -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

For those of you who'd like some history, here is the very first thread and the reason that we're all here now. FIRST EVER THREAD

And the most recent so you can work your way back through time IS JUST HERE

The Bus may be 'mythical', but the support is real, it is honest and it will help you to achieve what it is that YOU seek, as long as you are honest with us, but mostly, YOURSELF

Mouse xxx

Morning babes

I'm stay strong the cravings really die down after day 4. For some reason day 4 is the day most of us give in on,usually as a reward for being god for the previous 3! But you have seen it through,I think that the next few days should be easier for you.
Think I would like my superpower to be the ability to kick the arse of vile abusive men (appreciate some women do it too) grrr!

I am very happy to be waking up sober and calm today. No regrets about not drinking last night at all.

Today I will not be drinking. Anyone care to join me?

Hooray! I have woken up feeling healthy I may be a lot better at controlled drinking nowadays, but that nasty little habit of drinking too much when DH is away has been stubborn. I literally can't remember the last time I didn't (unless it was when I was preggers). I'm certain I wouldn't have stayed away from the wine last night if I hadn't been in this group and had everyone's support. Thank you.

guggs, I gave up a couple of times. The first time was for 3 weeks on the advice of a counsellor I saw very briefly - I went to see him about a range of issues but as soon as I mentioned drinking he focused on that, revealed he was in AA and recommended I went to an AA meeting. I went to one but to be honest I found it very offputting. I don't want to be an AA disser because I know all groups are different and it works really well for many people. However, I grew up in a dysfunctional family in which we had to give up our identities and conform to my mother's opinions and beliefs, and at the meeting I felt the same feeling. It was pretty evangelical. There were Readings from the Book, like it was infallible. I came away with this dread that I'd spent years fighting to get myself back, and the only way I could stay with that group was to give myself up again and conform. I didn't go to another one and I had to stop seeing the counsellor as well, because it was obvious he felt the only way I could get better was to stay in AA.

I stayed sober for a while after that, trying to find new support groups to help. I found a SMARTrecovery meeting, but when I got there it was in a run-down, seedy road. I walked up to it and the people there for the group were waiting outside, smoking, swearing at each other and mock-fighting. I know I sound like an awful snob saying this, but they scared me. I couldn't imagine saying anything personal in front of them. I walked past like I was on my way somewhere else

After that I couldn't see how I could do 'dry' without a group. And my DH found it problematic - he didn't think it was necessary for me to stop altogether. He's not an enabler - he's lovely but I think he found it hard to fathom that the problem for me wasn't so much how much I was drinking (I was a lot better by then) but the urge I felt to drink. That, I knew, wasn't right.

The second time I gave up was when I was pregnant. That was for 2 months. It wasn't hard in the same way, because I had something positive and important to focus on, a new life. There were times when it was bloody irritating (my work leaving do, for instance ), but I managed fine.

I totally know what you mean about the morning WW. I've worked full-time for years (until about 6 months ago) and have never drunk in the day. But I would often have battled with the WW, given in and started obsessively fantasising about wine by 4pm.

Im, I know I'm new here and I don't know your full story, but that is absolutely horrible. I'm so sorry

hope SS its ok, slow, they are monitoring things closely its intense but so far they haven't done much only helped with contact for dc.
guggs I hope today will be a bit esyer but I feel stress over this rabbit, so WW is calling me already so I will join you I need some non drinking buddy's today to keep me strong x
Thankyou any x

Well done Im and spinach and anyone else who beat the ww last night.

Im what's happening about you moving into a safe house, is that not on the cards anymore?

guggs I will join you in not drinking today

Me too Guggs. Stay strong I'm. Hugs x

I'll join you guggs I really need to get some af days in. It's funny but DJ was almost easy for me once I was past the first weekend but now I'm 'allowed' to drink again I'm finding it hard to have more than a few af days. Menatally I'm planning ahead for the nights when I can drink - no school run/work - and I'm drinking even though I don't really want to. Yesterday I bought a mini bottle of wine 'just in case' I wanted a drink later that night, so of course I had it 'just because', then H went and got a bottle to share...so I ate well and went to the gym for two days and then sabataged it in a few hours :(

Well done on four days I'm, you're going through so much and are doing so well to stay sober. Your ex is sickening, I hope ss pull their finger out and get you away from him and safe xx

Day 1

Hi babes, imso sorry your having to go through all this, what a brute he is!! guggs I'm with you xx

Hello all,

im so sorry that you have lost your rabbit he knows just how to devastate you doesn't he. Being sober is such a good idea, you have more self control and can think things through more clearly. If eating helps, then do it. Could you get the cause of death recorded with SS? Surely a broken neck is not that common for pets. Even though there is no proof, it may just be another small flag on the file. Keep posting xx

We have another snow day here, so I have two busy minecrafters here enjoying the surprise day off. Which reminds me hope, I think they would like the minecraft boys shed! assuming that there was a constant supply of snacks arriving through the 70's food hatch obviously

I am also finding it harder not to drink, am on day 2 but already have designs on Friday night. . It definitely helps me to know you are all there though, makes me think so much more about it all. Take care babes xx

Munching my way through a pack of wine gums not long to go now till witching hr past x

Court date Friday to see if we need another hearing. Who will be called as witnesses etc.
Very nervous. But its just another day in hell isnt it?

Still sober through it all. Its hard to miss alcohol when you miss your son. And DH.
DS walked to me yesterday. Five little shaky steps into a big hug from me. It reminds me that I dont have time to wallow or mess up. This is all for him, all this effort and struggle. And before he can form lasting memories, he will find himself in a new home with his Mum and Dad.

Well done to all those staying sober, getting back on the wagon or something in between.

Im Sorry this is still going on. Hang on for one more day, just hang on one more day.

Nearly there why nearly there. Massive hugs and best wishes.x

spinach yes I think that your description sums up exactly why women find it so hard to get help. I don't think you are dissing aa or being snob. I'm a very big fan of aa and as such I have no problem discussing the good and bad points.
Online support is a brilliant solution for most of us - I've hread good things about soberistas and there was a link to another interesting online support wotsist: stanton Peele. I don't know very much about them but it's obvious that people can only recover if they get help they are comfortable with or can engage with fully (the bus for instance) Thanks for replying to a nosy question.

annie I just wonder are you thinking about quitting in the long term or controlling or doing something in between?

Hey there joey and baby- any sign of ww? Hope not.
How are you doing beaches and I'm?

Still sober guggs and feeling fine now its earlier hrs that she gets me X how about you ?

why glad to hear from you x

Might be posting a lot tonight won't sleep, SW in morning too,

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Sorry to ignore you all but on catching up I saw Ims posts.....

Im - please, please, please stay sober, as much as you want to get wasted, please don't. I am appalled that your rabbit has been killed in such a way and that the chances are it was your twatish X/DP - I'm not sure where you guys are up to...... I assume you are now no longer together but to be very honest, I'm struggling with my memory at the moment

I'm so sorry xxx

Staying sober means that you will have your wits about you and be on your guard rather than just accept the shite he may spin your way.

You are doing great! xxx

Why - you asked who will be called as witnesses..... it depends on your X's choice. He can ask the milkman to be a character witness if he wanted to, tw@t that he is.

He is out to make you look as bad as possible, even though YOU ARE NOT! YOU ARE THE BEST MOTHER EVER BECAUSE YOU ARE FIGHTING SO HARD!

You wanted to change your life so that you got your child back, and YOU HAVE DONE THAT!

Sweetheart, court is going to be shit. What has your brief/solicitor said? Who are YOU going to take on your behalf?

You need someone who knows you that won't be seen as biased, like a family member would be, so someone who sees you regularly and you have a good relationship with. Someone who cares.

I'd come with you if I could sweetheart xxx

Keep going, fight each minute, each hour, each day..... :)

YOU WILL GET YOUR BOY BACK!

I'm babe have you got any green wine gums left??? Day 4 is really good, I am so sorry that you're going through all this shite. Your poor bunny what a wankerarse your XP is!!! Keep going babe, a clear head is a really good thing to have at the moment

Beaches I'm still drinking, as I said previously, I'm using the alcohol as my coping mechanism

I will be back AF from next week, I just need to get this little persons funeral out of the way (that wasn't meant to sound quite like that)

Spinach you're doing really well babe - keep going, once you've got that first week under your belt, you'll be flying

Hello to you all - Mouse Hope Nuff Why(I'll be thinking of you on Friday) Rural Soc ( you are doing so well Babe, keep it up ) Anne Baby Guggs Joey and any one of you lovely Babes that I've forgotten to mention

You are all an inspiration xxx

Hello Ma forgot to mention you then - have you decided on your dress yet?

Rural I saw a friend the other day who has Ewes and they had their first lamb early last week, had to come indoors because of this weather, have any of your lambs been born yet? It's all a bit early isn't it?

spanna some lambs are born in winter. To lamb in winter you need heated pens and enough indoor space for all the ewes and lambs.
Lots of farms lamb february early March as you can usually manage without heating then but still need to keep the ewes and lambs indoors until temperatures are spring like.
We have not much indoor space and none heated so we like to plan lambing for end of March onwards. The way the weather is this year looks like we will be using all our indoor space in a sort of rotation fashion.
Keep going Im 4 days is brilliant. Hugs xx
Big wave to everyone else, bit busy here tonight xx

Mouse Its not a custody case. My DH and I are only not living together because of a court order, which Friday hopes to remedy. We are fighting Child Services for the right to live together as a family.
Social services can only call their own workers. Our current worker is the one who wants this all wrapped up. Its a mystery as to what will happen. Waiting to hear from lawyer.

Night babes. Hope you have all had a good, sober or mostly sober evening.

Why - I'm so sorry that I got my wires crossed and knickers in a twist..... I wish with all my heart that you get what you want, you deserve nothing but happiness. xxx

Things are really shit for me truth be told just now, I'm struggling to get to grips with my mum going, and Dad is struggling too.... so I'm a bit shit on the advice front just at the moment.

I'll be back when I can help more and better and be me again.

I'm so sad. Life is hurting from the inside out. I'm going to go to the GP as I can feel where this is going.....

Sorry to be a let down Babes xxx

mouse I appreciate your encouragement honey, I made day five today, I'm determined to make two weeks my longest is 8 days
I want to get wasted to block out his shit its to much, but I think I daren't I'm scared if I do x

Hello spanna you do know there's no wine in them don't you?

X post mouse sending hugs x

Im - Please, for me, for YOU, don't relapse. YOU ARE WORTH MORE.

Tonight I sat talking to my Dad on the phone crying my heart out wanting him to stop hurting, walking in to an empty house, I want to be pain free............. I want him here, with us so that we can look after him but he has a fantastic network of support where he is.

It's just when we talk, we are so alike, he's my stepdad, but you'd never know it. He is my hero. He is my absolute star and I adore him for taking on two children that were not his own (Much like my own DH with DD) and treated them (us) as if we were his own flesh and blood.

If I could go into a 'Dad' shop, I'd choose him every single time. But without my Mum, he is in so much pain and hurts so much, it crushes me and I can't cope with my loss either.

I am going to try and get help once Nemo is back at school next week.

I just want my Mum back, to hold her again, to tell her everything I never did, to stop the ache in my heart. Selfish as that is, I can't do this for much longer............. I really can't. I can feel myself going under......

Night Babes. Be strong, stronger than I am being xxx