The Dating Thread 69

[FolkGirl]

Just because I wanted to be the person to start it really

Welcome one and all.

Santa remember, it's not Mr Bricky calling the shots. It's you. You are in control of your life and you decide if and when you want to have sex, if and when you want him in your house. You do not need to pander to a man's expectations. After all you said he might still be on the OD sites looking around / answering messages etc etc. If there are things you don't like about him, you have the power to end it. You are the prize. Not your body- you. He needs to continue to show you respect or you'll find someone better. If I felt that someone would be judgy about my imperfect body, I wouldn't sleep with them. Simples. I'd find someone I knew would be appreciative. :-D

If you're worried about the 3rd date and think he expects sex, I might make a joke about it. 'So... the third date- this is when 2 people should be jumping into bed together according to ......' (Fill in blank as appropriate as I'm not sure what reliable source you could actually give for this piece of wisdom.

jarlin really pleased for you , all sounding good. How many dates have you had with slow burner?

Bricky and I didn't have a proper kiss there wasn't really the opportunity only a few pecks on the lips so I'm still waiting to see what kind of kisser he is

Haha Jarlin- stopping to look for your bearings. Sneaky kiss-tactic!!! ;-) Really pleased for you. Remind us how many dates you have been on so we know how the slow burners like to do things...

I feel kinda shy around Bricky, it's really the first time with a date that I've felt shy, nervous,yes but not shy. I don't think I could make a joke about sex, most unlike me

I wonder why you feel shy around him.

I'm not sure, probably because I like him more than any of the others I've met.

How soon do the rest of you allow a date into your home? I don't have children living at home so that's not an issue. The last date I had which whom I saw for 3 months came back on the second date, but I felt uncomfortable. I also feel I'd prefer then to come here for the first time in the daytime maybe. Bricky seemed quite keen to hear I was not working next weekend so perhaps when I next see him I might suggest doing something in the day and maybe he can pick me up and come in for a coffee

Do people th I m there is much truth in the so called three date rule.
I've not had many serious bf ,two plus a fling and now 7 dates with this guy.
First bf ,took from initial contact to sex was 3 months, then about same for next bf.
Funny but the fling very heated kissing after 2 hours and although we never had sex we were intimate .

This man took three dates before he even kissed me !

Good luck to all those on dates this weekend.

Ha Jarlin you are hard to read he finds you hard to read. There, corrected Slowburner's language for him . It sounds like it was a really lovely evening. I do love around there. Do you mind me asking which restaurant btw? (pm if you'd rather maybe?)

Santa in all honesty I haven't invited dates back to my place until I wanted to sleep with them. But that's me - simple answer again is you invite people there when you want to. With the last guy it did feel quite awkward at first having him there. With Niceguy it felt perfectly natural right away. Excellent idea about coffee before a day date though, when you're dressed and ready to go, that's a definite sex-off-the-menu situation.

Happy V-day Thread!!! Does anyone else have a date tonight?

Unfortunately I'm not going out tonight as I have to be up for work very early in the morning, Bricky did ask though. So we will see eachother tomorrow evening

To all of you who are having a valentines evening out, have a wonderful time

I have a date tomorrow with Mr Sweet. This is the guy I met 2 weeks ago through a mutual friend at their party. He has been texting me every day these sweet texts, but I just don't know if I really fancy him enough. Im slightly on the rebound from Mr Cute who wouldn't commit to any evening date, or future plans, and who was still living in the marital home albeit separated - see my other thread....I had taken everyones advice and just hadn't contacted Mr Cute for the last 2 weeks hoping he would get the hint. Anyway, I was at home last night and the doorbell rang. It was Mr Cute with flowers chocolates and a card he told me head moved out and into his flat, and what plans I had for next week! I know I should have told him to go, but all my feelings came back Now I have a date with Mr Sweet tomorrow and I am feeling sick in my stomach.
Follow my heart or my head?

Lizzie that's a tough call. I don't know the history with Mr Cute but it does sound as though you're at risk of being his rebound relationship if he's only recently separated...think carefully. Perhaps reschedule date with Mr Sweet until you've had more time to think?

Santa - sounds good with Bricky so far. I wouldn't worry about the 'third date rule', you'll know when things are heading in that direction after a few steamy snogs ;) We all have our body hang-ups but I'm sure he'll have no complaints if / when things go that far!

Jarlin - sounds very romantic and lovely!

I have a 'date' with 3 married couples this evening, aargh! I've been dating science teacher for a couple of months now but he is busy with a friend until later this evening and is going to meet me at the restaurant later...I'm a bit pissed off quite frankly that he's seeing his friend instead of coming straight to dinner with me seeing as it's Valentine's Day! I get the feeling his friend is jealous of me and trying to prove a point

Hi everyone!

Date was actually ok last night...but just ok; I've decided there is definately no spark there between Mr Cuddles and I

He is a completely different person in real life though. I think he is just a bit socially inept which may explain the inappropriate text messages.
I did catch him looking at my boobs though quite a few times though- he definately has a boob fixation, and for the record both dates I've worn very modest tops!

We went for pub grub and I,of course, insisted I pay half, I worked out later I paid double what he did but oh well!! lol
Am I being sexist in that I think it would have been nice if he had turned down my offer seeing as him who suggested we go for something to eat- and the fact it's valentine's day today??

He did eventually kiss me on the cheek while i was waiting for my bus home and it was a really weird "sucker" type kiss - definately don't fancy snogging him so definately no chemistry and he has quite small hands and no a**e -a huge turn-off in my book!!

Jarlin so happy things with Mr Slowburner is working out so well! I shall use you as an example that I can find love in OLD!

Santa the 3 date rule is nonsense as many other have said just go at your own pace. As for you feeling insecure, I have heard many men say that the thing they find sexiest in a woman is confidence - so even if you don't feel it fake it!

For me it's back to the drawing board, it's a pity about Mr Cuddles as it's rare I get that two elusive qualities in one man-that they are keen on me and have a pulse!!

Happy Valentines Day everyone

super I think Mr Sweet will in trouble as I am on the rebound from Mr Cute! Mr Cute has been separated for years, but I cooled it because he wouldnt commit any more than once a week. Met Mr Sweet, and he is truly smitten with me already. It dems a nit much as he hardly knows me. Our mutual friend is desperate for us to get it together, and wants me to ditch Mr Cute for good. Im really feeling the pressure

Jarlin - that's great, sounds like it progressed as it should have done.

I have just been reading 3 month pull away stuff on google links and maybe that is what my current boyfriend is doing. Strangely enough it's to do with them and one man on a forum said he does it to women he likes a lot and he knows he has issues.

I was supposed to be seeing him later but got mixed up, he has his son tonight as his ex-girlfriend is out (it's his turn anyway) and she wouldn't swap. So I'm out with a few friends maybe men tonight at a pub. I've decided (call me harsh!) if by any chance I meet someone tonight and they ask me out then I'm going out with them.

cynicalsorry to hear things didn't work out as hoped but hey plenty more out there so as you say, back to the drawing board

I'm not so sure I'm really attracted to Bricky, I didn't feel the urge to kiss him, but when he touch me ( his hand was on my thigh in the cinema and he was holding my hands a lot) it was really nice. Plus when I touched his arms it was like WOW.

cynical yes I agree it would have been nice if Mr Cuddles had turned down your offer to pay. Bricky automatically said " I'll get this" when the bill came plus he had already pre bought the tickets for the cinema

The thing that is slightly putting me off is the fact he has moved back I with his parents when his relationship with his GF broke up. I don't think he is good at looking after himself as he freely admits his mum cooks for him ect and he's in his mid forties!
He just seems really easy going, happy type of guy. He also has a close relationship with his brother

Santa for me, alarm bells would be ringing. Living with mum, having her cook for him, sometimes on OD sites, hand on your thigh before you've even kissed. I would say this is a good candidate for a fling but not for a relationship. #ObviouslyVeryOpinionatedFeelFreeToIgnore!

hi, im a long time lurker... but wanted to share my date tonight - im so nervous! its through POF and we've messaged and spoken for a couple of weeks now (hours on the phone) and seem to get on really well - he is sure we will hit it off and I like his certainty of this but i dont want to meet and be dissapointed... I know its a hazzard of OLD as its happened before - no spark even though this one had everything on paper to make it work out!

We're meeting for drinks and maybe something to eat....I think the thing is he's not my normal type in the looks dept - ive been attracted to his confidence and attitude to most things like kids etc - and he has a good job. Normally im very looks based then find out there's not much else going on. Will let you know if my plan of stepping out of my 'comfort zone' in the looks dept works....

seeking hmmm maybe you are right. The thigh thing felt ok though, I didn't feel awkward about it as it was difficult to get close with the arm of the seat in the way at the cinema. We had had a quick kiss whilst eating dinner.

It's the living with parents bit that gets me and he doesn't seem in any rush to move out

Yay jarlin am so pleased for you!

Santa seriously don't worry about any 'rule' it will happen when it feels right for both of you. Fwiw it was about date 7 or 8 before me and smallfeet dtd!!

Talking of who - he is turning up soon for our Valentines hibernation day

Cynical Ewugh small hands *shudder I thought it was just me that had a thing about small hands!

As regards the OD sites, I saw he had been on since our first date ( last night was only our second date) so not massively worried as yet. Obviously if we keep seeing eachother and he's still on there then that would be different

Hi
Just to say pof states your on line when your not , apparently I was on at 2:30 the other night I doubt that very much.
The guy I've been seeing has showed up as being on line and he hasn't been on in weeks , yes I know he could be lying to me n I hope he not . But I've had mate's on there who have also said they also s o show up when not on line.

Well Santa he sounds like a fun guy to have a fling with. Maybe it'll be you who'll lose interest after sleeping with him ;-)

Or maybe you'll have to sleep with him a few times just to make sure he's not the one for you. Lmao