The Dating Thread 69

[FolkGirl]

Just because I wanted to be the person to start it really

Welcome one and all.

Oh am trying to write a profile and can't even figure out what the title line should be!!

It just feels so weird to describe myself and using the words that my friends use to describe me makes me feel like I am being proud.

Think this is falling at the first hurdle! Not even figured out which photograph to use yet - would be easier if I was photogenic!

Geeky ended it. I'm distraught.

Oh no Dont!

I'm sorry to hear that. What reason did he give?

He said my situation was not right for a relationship.

That's unbelievable dont, it seems you gave him the ammunition he was looking for with your earlier text asking if he was controlling, he must have been having doubts and he was showing you with all the sulking and blaming. Sorry he's done this to you, he sounds very immature and with no idea what it means to be a single working parent trying to line all the ducks in a row with regards childcare, negotiating with ex's and generally sorting everything out on your own. No idea at all.

Well I hope you know that's a nonsense. I'm amicable with my exH. We spent Christmas Day together whilst his gf and the man I'm seeing were out of the country.

I let my ex stay overnight in my house when I wasn't here because circumstances required it.

He's in my house upstairs with DS at the moment in fact.

His gf doesn't mind (or at least he doesn't listen to her if she does) and the man I'm seeing asked me if I was still in love with him, but that was all.

It was none of his business how you arranged your childcare. You were already starting to make too many concessions for him.

I know you had a wonderful time and will have some wonderful memories of an amazing few months, but there were a few red flags that had popped up over the past couple of weeks.

I'm sorry to hear you're distraught though. You must be feeling heartbroken right now.

Ahhh that's awful but you know that's not true you got three beautiful kids an ex who helps out a job a home what situation isn't right for what relationship? Don't listen to that fuckwittery it's rubbish ! He shd have been so glad to be part of your amazing set up !

It's far easier to have a relationship with someone whose ex is on board with the children and doesn't fuck about too.

I'd much rather date someone who was amicable with their ex than one who was in constant battle.

Ahh dont thats awful. .. take time to get over it all. Drink wine , eat chocolate and hug your kids.

Dont I'm so sorry you're hurting, I really am, but this man wasn't good enough for you. I know it's hard to see it but he used your feelings for him to manipulate and control you using his moods, sulks and passive aggressive comments. You text him 'I love you' to try and appease him and I bet it was at that very moment that he knew he had you right where he wants you. I'd bet my last Rolo that he comes crawling back in a day or two in the hope that you'll be so pleased that you'll welcome him back with open arms and make whatever changes he wants you to in order to make him happy so he doesn't leave again. Don't fall for it. We're all here for you.

Ahh dont am sending you a massive have you got someone in rl who can come over with wine and chocolate?

I seriously think he has done you a favour though, you are wayyyyy to good for him and as someone upthread said he sounds so immature.

I can't believe he chose to do this now and by text.

Doing it by text just seems so cruel.

Well I wonder if SoftKitty might have a point.

Be strong.

Don't - I'm sorry to hear you're so upset. But don't let yourself feel it's your situation that's at fault here - plenty of single parents who share care of the children with an ex go on to have successful relationships. I'm not really sure what is so impossible about your situation?? At least your ex being involved means you do have some child free time to spend building a relationship.

Oneday it's not mr kinky with man flu (though I seem to remember he too has been struck down with this deadly disease in the past!) but someone else who I haven't even manage to meet yet. To be fair, Saturday is 4 whole days from when he was taken ill....doesn't man flu last a good couple of weeks?

dont so sorry..... everyone else has said enough about why it isn't such a bad thing. And agree that complete bollocks, please do not believe him telling you that your situation is not right for a relationship. Claptwaddle. And it's not like your situation has changed since you met him- so he took his time coming to that conclusion! His ending things with you as you were beginning to question his behaviour does just smack of more emotional blackmail tbh- I also wouldn't be surprised if he turned around to "give you another chance" to bend to what he wants.

Its ok to be hurting. It's been such a rollercoaster for you. What are you doing tonight?

I've got a friend coming over with pizza. His last text was 'I love you and I will miss you'

Sorry Dont if he's texted you that after ending it then he's being a melodramatic manipulative arse.

He sent that after I texted 'leave me alone.' He said 'I love you and I'll miss you and I will leave you alone now as requested.'

Well after ending it, there was no need for him to tell you he loved you and would miss you. That's just rubbing salt into the wound. It's cruel and unfair.

Dont And the manipulation continues. Folkgirl is right with 'melodramatic manipulative arse'.

I wouldn't be surprised if you hear from him in a couple of days time full of apologies and regret...

Have been thinking about you dont and have decided that Geeky basically liked the 'single' you but couldn't handle the reality that you have an ex and children He needs to grow up and I am about ending by text, what an idiot.

Hope you are o.kay and your friend is giving you lots of sympathy.

He text you that because instead of begging him to change his mind, you text to tell him to leave you alone. Hence his manipulation tactic. It's classic this, it really is.