The Dating Thread 69

[FolkGirl]

Just because I wanted to be the person to start it really

Welcome one and all.

winefield, yes i agree, dating requires a hard hat at all times, yet how many people/ women do we see attempting to date before they have donned that hat, that are looking to date for all the wrong reasons? Dating sites are full of them.
There is no tick box to tick when you start posting on this thread, that you have all your ducks in a line.

And yes, while just one voice , is one voice, the problem on there, is that one voice, by being the only one being male, seems to have been elevated into a higher position, ergo, more weight added to his ' advice'

you can see that from supporters of his saying how much they appreciate a male view.

You might want to look at your language, no need for calling names to other posters.

Appreciate a male view isn't the same as, think one man speaks for them all though!

I understand that anyone posting on the internet is only posting their own opinion.

I can't speak for other men. I'm a bloke, but then I'm one who chats on the relationship thread on mumsnet so I'm possibly atypical.

He wasn't even claiming to speak for all men!

I didn't think Bant was the only male on the thread? He never used to be. He may be the most frequent male poster but I am sure he's not the only one.

Those of us who have been on and off this thread (often under various names for all sorts of reasons) for a long time will know precisely what this unwarranted nonsense towards him is about and I hope the newer posters will trust us over Green

Notnew, what is this nonsense towards him about?

As far as i can see, Green, wasnt posting anything wrong/ odd prior to getting angry when faced with some sexist twaddle being spouted.

Green called a poster a name, winefield above has just done the same.

All equal, isnt it.

What i am suggesting, is that this thread erupts into slagging matches with alarming regularity.

There is usually one poster in the centre.

That perhaps people should look at why this happens, rather than just jumping to someones defence because he once looked at their profile.

And swear words might be your favorite word at the moment, but you need to adhere to talk guidelines when posting on here, which i dont believe that does.

Ok yes I now realise this man is not cut out for internet dating. He says he wants to find someone who will come off the site once they like each other to continue to get to know each other. I agree but surely not after 2 dates!
I'm glad you all think I didn't lead him on :)
When I said we spoke every day for a week what I meant was we messaged every day!
It's shame there isn't any physical attraction for me as he ticks every other box.
Wow this was some heavy stuff on here last night! I hope it's not always like this on here!

Blooming - Bant did adhere to the talk guidelines. He expressed his opinion. Green didn't adhere to the guidelines by telling him to fuck off.

What part of that don't you get?

That was what he said he does though, wasnt it. It wasnt implied.

He even posted himself ' it might be a bit me'

at the end of the same post where he said that.

Thanks for confirming that you are just jumping to the defence of someone without actually reading what has been posted.

Lizziebelle do you fancy this guy? See that was my problem, he was just what I was looking for but if you don't fancy them that's not much point is there?!
If you do fancy him then I say go for it!

So here we go again
Never too long a gap, is there?
Are we never to get any peace?
I shouldn't have bothered delurking.
Let it go, finally, please!

Choc It doesn't sound like he's right for internet dating.

Everyone accepts that there will be multi dating in the early days and that someone isn't going to come off the site straight away.

I wouldn't have come off the site, but I did say I wouldn't renew when my subscription ended. I didn't. He said the same. And he didn't either.

At the same time, no one likes to think about the multi dating aspect, but I always think that if they meet someone they like more than you, then you and they weren't right.

I also reminded myself that I was multidating too (and wasn't necessarily always honest about it).

Expecting exclusivity and leaving the site after 2 dates is too much.

Blimey, came on here after the weekend and what a bun fight.

I think I am going to compile a list of annoying things blokes message. Only this morning some sad, middle aged, over weight man who apparently earns £100K as a school care taker, would love to chat with me but only do so if I was prepared to post more pictures, wtaf. Is this what I can expect from OLd

No, those are just the ones you get to take the piss out of with your friends Blossom

Notnewbutnamechanged, Ive seen that name bandied about a lot. Are you accusing Green of being that poster?

Also, despite all the times this posters name has been thrown about, its never been confirmed by MNHQ, has it.

So, might it be possible that people have rather inventive imaginations?
or dismiss every issue a poster has, as being 'snail' and shouts them down, rather than taking on board what is being said?

Folkgirl that makes a lot of sense. He said he can't deal with the fact that I am waiting to see if something better comes along. Its not even about that it just doesn't feel right to go exclusive after 2 dates!

He says he wants to find someone who will have the same view, I think he would struggle to find such a person with internet dating.

I agree. If you meet someone IRL and click, well I probably would want to be exclusive very early on (like straightaway!)

But OD is very different to RL. As someone said the other day (I think on a different thread), it's more like a hobby and if something good comes out of it, then that's a bonus!

Just popping my head up as a long time lurker on these threads to say that green person read like a bloody nutter from the get go. Sorry to have read some bizarre clashes over the last couple of threads, I love to read other people's OD experiences & might get brave enough to join in. Support for Bant and other rational peeps anyway.

It's what feels right for each person, isn't it, Choc? Personally I can't do the multi-dating thing, it just isn't me. I know someone else who found that if they multi-dated, they compared and judged people off one another, rather than actually concentrating on finding on someone's genuine attributes.

Notnew yes people must do what they feel comfortable with. To be honest I've not multi dated and in the time between our 2 dates I didn't speak with other guys on there. It just feels too quick to delete profile and be exclusive after 2 dates.