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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

The Dating Thread 69

999 replies

FolkGirl · 07/02/2014 12:36

Just because I wanted to be the person to start it really Smile

Welcome one and all.

OP posts:
AmyMumsnet · 10/02/2014 11:43

Hi all,

Thanks for your reports. We've been through the thread to delete personal attacks, but we'd really appreciate it if you could post within the talk guidelines as we'd hate for the thread to descend into a bunfight.

bloomingbloom · 10/02/2014 11:44

I havent started anything. I havent attacked anyone, I havent posted anything inflamatory.

I have said why maybe its best not to rely on the advice of one poster, just because, its only one voice.

I have advised women to do whats right for them.

I dont think its nice to say people are' bloody nutters' or ' fucking bellends'
I dont think its in the talk guidelines.

But then again neither is attacking every single poster who disagrees with something that is posted on here, and says so.

I have no clue what you are talking about, but i suggest you either a) get a grip b) contact HQ if you think something is awry. In the meantime, could you stop throwing accusations my way.

TalisaMaegyr · 10/02/2014 11:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

HanselandGretel · 10/02/2014 11:59

People are using multiple profiles on here? who? This is really offputting.

NotNewButNameChanged · 10/02/2014 12:00

No one called anyone a bloody nutter, actually. Said the postings READ like a bloody nutter. Distinction.

Interestingly, none of Bant's posts got deleted, unlike Green's

HanselandGretel · 10/02/2014 12:28

Because Green's were personal attacks, Bant's were not.
Lets try and be fair here and take any 'argument' that breaks out on it's own merits and not bring past issues people may have had with the poster into it to biase the whole thing.
Really gone off this place now.

CynicalOptimist · 10/02/2014 12:30

Can we just get back to talking about dating......I really need help to get my life sorted out Grin

TalisaMaegyr · 10/02/2014 12:35

Don't go off it Hansel, just ignore the shapeshifters namechangers Grin

OhWesternWind · 10/02/2014 12:47

It's really upsetting to see such an unjustified personal attack on Bant today. No idea what prompted that from Green and I'm really against anyone saying who can and can't post on this thread.

This thread is for anyone who needs support or advice or just wants to shoot the breeze about dating and other related topics, regardless of gender, parental status, sexual orientation, age, race, disability, whatever. It's for everyone, and if it's not then that's me done with it.

Surely one of the best things about this thread is that there is a whole cross section of people on here and so you get to hear a wide range of opinions that you might not generally hear in your normal social circles. I certainly don't agree with everything people (mainly women) post on here, but I try and offer a different point of view in a constructive and non-confrontational manner, And that's exactly what Bant was doing too, at the express invitation of other posters.

People won't always agree, but there's certainly a place for discussion and argument without it degenerating into personal attacks.

And the reason why Bant is continually targetted is because the same posters with a personal vendetta keep returning to the thread under different names. Once one starts, another is never far behind. These posters have targetted me in the past as well and I find it totally unacceptable that they are still on here working mischief and derailing what used to be one of the best threads on the site.

OneDayWhenIGrowUp · 10/02/2014 13:11

Cynical argh I feel your uninvited PDA pain! But things went well otherwise? Still texting a lot?

Crow I agree with others - it is absolutely none of your STBXH's business what you and Mr Guitarist, or anyone else for that matter, get up to. It's perfectly acceptable to say that yes, friends talk about their dates, but you're not exactly friends are you - you are ex-spouses - (not saying that you can't be friends as well, but it's a different kind of friendship) and if you are not comfortable discussing it then you don't have to. Good luck for tonight!! I like the sound of Mr Guitarist - always a sucker for a guy with a geetar. Have you heard from MM as well?

OneDayWhenIGrowUp · 10/02/2014 13:39

dont missed your last personal as well with all the drama. Thankyou, yes Niceguy is lovely. Really really really lovely. So lovely and it's all going so well that I feel a little bit freaked out by it all!!

lubeybooby · 10/02/2014 13:47

Totally agree with OWW

I'm not here very much now as I'm very busy and very happily loved up but I look in now and then as this thread is my baby from yonks back... it's really sad to see it go like this.

Well done to those trying to get it back on track.

Be careful of a certain poster or maybe even two here who have been banned multiple times and at least one of whom always come back with a new name and claims total innocence no matter what. A good look back through old threads is wise before you trust anyone here.

CynicalOptimist · 10/02/2014 14:07

ODWIGU - yes thank you things went well apart from that, he's still texting a lot, maybe a tad too much but I'm trying to stop finding fault and not to live up to my name too well!

I know what you mean I get nervous if things go too well but you should just enjoy it - you may have found that elusive "nice guy" we are all looking for Smile

TalisaMaegyr · 10/02/2014 14:12

ODWIGU I echo what Cynical says - just enjoy it. They are out there, you know, I have one of my own! Grin

TheCrow · 10/02/2014 14:18

Well my question is now totally irrelevant anyway as calling me and ex 'friends' is pushing it to the extreme.

OneDay the guitar did it for me too! I broke my rule and spoke to him on the phone, he has a lovely voice :) confirmed my hatred of talking on the phone though, when I said hello my voice went all squeaky and weird, cringe.
Didn't get my text from Mr MM (I know, I was surprised too!) even though he said he was going to arrange possibly meeting up during the week. Text him today but no reply, he is at work though. Don't know why I keep letting him do this :( He'll be out where we're going on Friday again, always feel strong and angry until I see him then all sense goes out the window

OneDayWhenIGrowUp · 10/02/2014 14:49

Crow why did you text him??? I am off to find a slimy wet fish to slap you with....fingers x'd for MrGeetar tonight Smile

Cynical & Talisa I know I must just relax and enjoy. I think venting on here (and with a few people in real life) will allow me to take deep breaths and stay cool, enjoy things going well and hopefully not freak out and self-sabotage things or otherwise turn into crazy-in-need-of-constant-reassurance-girl, which we all know is just not a good look. I am so thankful for this thread and for the people in my life I can wail to!!

TalisaMaegyr · 10/02/2014 15:35

Exactly the point of the thread Cynical Grin

I'm not a massive believer in the old 'if something seems to be good to be true, it is' - sometimes things are just right. Wait and see Smile

TalisaMaegyr · 10/02/2014 15:35

Ooops, I meant OneDay!

Ivedunnit · 10/02/2014 17:02

Ok so I was out on a date with separateddadof4 last Monday and all good, but have gone from messages 10 times a day to one a day ! Hmm! I was busy all weekend so no chance to see him and I seen him in work today and he said hello ! So unsure whats going on there !
Anyhow trying to arrange a date with mrWhale who I have been chatting to for about 2 months. Lots of fun flirting but a little bit nervous as to how the reality will be !

Santaclaws · 10/02/2014 17:06

Well I am out on a date with Mr Shiny tonight, wish me luck and I can't do a loo update as my phone in antique but will update tomorrow :)

TheCrow · 10/02/2014 17:17

MrWhale?! Not sure I want to know how you came up with that name!

Santa good luck with MrShiny even though I'm rooting for MrBricky Looking forward to your update. Tell us what you wore!

OneDay Because I clearly don't learn from my mistakes, ever.

Santaclaws · 10/02/2014 17:29

crow thanks. I think I'm rooting for Mr Bricky too if I'm honest. Oh and I'm going to wear a black wool tunic dress ( not home knitted I might addGrin black tights and long boots

dippinmytoe · 10/02/2014 17:34

santa I think bricky too !! Good luck with shiny tho :)

I'm full of cold and feeling sorry for myself and no dating prospects at all. Came off pof as bored of the same ones ( my area seems to be lacking in guys) and on okc.. even more depressing ! I shall just have to enjoy all your dating stories :)

girliefriend · 10/02/2014 18:36

Hello all, oh dear whats happened to the lovely dating thread? Sad Normally seems fairly immune to all the crap you get on other threads!!

Anyho haven't caught up on all pages so waving at you all, how are things going don't and folk ?

I am o.kay, had a busy wend as it was dds bday so not seen smallfeet. He has the day off on Friday for V day and text last night suggesting we spend the whole day in bed Hmm not sure what I think about that tbh!!

TalisaMaegyr · 10/02/2014 19:23

Oooh I think that would be rather nice girlie, do you not fancy it?