New bf keeps tapping me for cash.

[freeandhappy]

He's got a good job but def has less expendable cash than me. He started by taking me out for dinner, inviting me to his place and having nice wine in etc and has progressed to sitting on his hands in pub when it's his round and asking me to bring wine and fags as he is a bit broke. I see him once a week with very little contact in between. Now he has started asking for cash. 100 last week 50 this week. When he texted me this sat asking me to bring wine and 50 quid in cash I said I wasn't going it was making me feel used. He got v shirty (by text) wouldn't answer phone when I rang, and has basically binned me???! Turns out he needed the 50quid as he promise to take his interns out on a day trip on Sunday? Wha?! And I ruined it and he had to cancel. Btw he has never taken me on a day trip. I am disappointed as he seemed lovely and smart and I liked him. But that's just taking the piss isn't it?

Please tell me I've misunderstood that - you've surely not offered him another handout loan! He had a hissy fit & gave you the silent treatment, now he wants more money, & you are actually contemplating giving him it. For goodness sake, why? Sorry if this sounds harsh, but you need to develop some self respect, it's crystal clear that this man is just using you for your bank balance.

I have to admit here that so as to not see him stuck I would online transfer 50 quid

Are you fucking kidding? You should be asking him for a cheque for the money he owes you, not offering him more.

Ignore this guy completely. He is not your responsibility.

No sorry I wrote that badly. I offered last sat. But he said just forget it. Tone being forget it if you are going to be a little bitch about it. That helped me realise he was being a cunt. He could have said sorry for making u feel bad, I shouldn't have asked etc but he didn't. I can honestly say e will not get another penny out of me. My heart has hardened towards him. And I think he is a complete shit to want te money to take his fucking interns out.

is he dumped for good then ?

And he won't be seeing me again either. And I won't respond to anymore texts. Shouldn't have even answered that one. But that's how they work isn't it? He says are u still mad at me and I in knee jerk fashion want to correct that as its inaccurate. Fell for it. But I won't again.

Phew. So glad you realise he's a cunt.

Well done- your radar is well and truly working.

Yes he is dumped for good and ever. It's amazing what a turn off it is to be squeezed for money every five mins. I have a busy and fun social life and lots of friends. And because I was only seeing him once a week it's not any real difference to not see him at all. It was just the hope that I could actually have a caring partner. But I can manage just fine without. And once again thanks mumsnet. I knew it was bollox but its great to hear a rousing chorus of DUMP

Good for you. What a user x

And at least you will see the red flag earlier if you ever have the misfortune to meet this type of jerk again? I

Yes. Wonder what flavour of arsehole will be next?!

Come to MN and run it by us before you get involved with another one

No...think positive, a non red flag waving lovely fella is just around the corner...

But yeah...check with MN first... :) haha x

Well done OP. Let us know if he contacts you though. I'm sure the wise mumsnetters on here will guide you through what to say to the arse!

Just came in at the end of this.

Glad he's in the bin. Don't forget to -kick- wheel him to the kerb on collection day.

Well done, OP.

phew!

Thank heaven for that

I was about to come round and slap you with a kipper

I think you should text him, to say he owes you £150 and you would like it back by the end of the month.

Commiserations on dating my ex, by the way!

I suppose you could've replied to 'are you still mad at me?' with 'no, just want to know when you're going to repay the £150 of loans you've borrowed'
But if you can afford to write that off, yes, ignore, ignore, ignore.

What a leech.

Don't lose heart OP, there are actually some good men out there, just sharpen up on recognizing the freeloaders and don't get involved with one again. Be picky.

It's the start of the month, how can he not have any money when he's just been paid?

He's taking the piss. Glad you have seen the light.

Any guy asking you for money is the biggest red flag in history, pity you actually gave him any, what a horrible person he must be.

Well done, OP, he sounds horrible and wouldn't make you happy at all.

Good work. He was probably thinking that since you felt guilty last Sat for turning him down, with a bit of pressure and more guilt-tripping he could get round you. Stick with the only two options for when he contacts you again (which I think there's a good chance of) a) silence or b) 'We don't have anything to discuss except when you're going to pay me back the £150 I lent you'.

It sounds as though you have really worked hard on your radar for bad news blokes. This will pay off in the end with a happier life, whether it has a partner in it or not.