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Original poster

Does he like me?

134 replies

TequilaItMakesMeHappy · 01/02/2014 13:23

Last week a bunch of us went out after work. We work as engineers and subcontract some of the work to other firms. Some of them came out with us. One of the sub firms always sends the same 2 guys, and they've been working with us for a few years. One of the guys (G1) I'd never spoken to, the other (G2) is very outgoing so always have a bit of a chat and giggle with him.

Anyway, in the pub I was with my friends, and noticed that whenever I looked over in G1's direction he was looking at me. Still didn't really speak much to him as I didn't know him at all. I was chatting to his mate a lot, and we all played pool together.

As people started going their separate ways, G2 announced he was going into town and asked if I wanted to join him and G1. I was having a good night and wasn't ready for going home so agreed.

Once we were out we had a few drinks together, then G2 disappeared to another part of the bar (on the pull!!) and I sat chatting to G1 for quite a while. I don't really remember how it came about, but he was telling me I was stunning, quite a catch etc and, surprised, I rubbished it. He was then really surprised that I didn't see it (drink talking and all that?!!)

Anyway, we carried on talking and our heads were very close together (loud music etc), so he said something and I tilted my ear towards his mouth to hear properly, and as I turned back our noses brushed each others. Next thing, he kissed me. The kiss went on quite a long time and built in passion. We then got more drinks, had a little look for G2 and then went back to sitting chatting and kissed again. It was an amazing kiss, real knee trembler, and given that he says he's shy with women, really knew how to push my buttons! (Btw, I believe him when he says he's shy around women as he was blushing when I first spoke to him that night).

Once back at work, he got my number from a guy I work with, and since then we've text each other a few times a day. We talked about our night out and he said it seemed the right thing to do at the time, but was naughty and he shouldn't have done it. Obviously its a bit of a bad move given we work together.

So I have no idea whether he likes me or if it was just a case of being drunk and convenient. And I know it probably doesn't matter because we work together and it wouldn't go any further, but I just want to satisfy my own curiosity! I could ask him outright, but I think he'd be too embarrassed.

OP posts:
Original poster
TequilaItMakesMeHappy · 01/02/2014 19:11

And not really a barrage of alerts!! We mostly text during the day at work, a few out of hours.

I've made friends all different ways. I'm very good friends with a guy I had a one night stand with about 10 years ago. Its never been repeated and never been awkward! I went to his wedding a few years ago.

And yes it was enjoyable, but that doesn't mean that I now feel flattered. I can't really look at a married man in that way.

OP posts:
basgetti · 01/02/2014 19:12

You aren't his friend. You spoke to him in a bar and kissed. You didn't even know he was married until an hour ago. How is that a friendship?

Original poster
TequilaItMakesMeHappy · 01/02/2014 19:13

Friendships all start with getting to know each other. That's where we are, we're getting to know each other.

OP posts:
Goodadvice1980 · 01/02/2014 19:13

Bonus points for when the OP hears;

"But my wife doesn't understand me" .........

nkf · 01/02/2014 19:18

He's a smooth one isn't he? All that I can't believe how gorgeous you are, I'm so shy, snog, blush, text, naughty. What a wally.

Original poster
TequilaItMakesMeHappy · 01/02/2014 19:18

If anything I would assume he and his wife have a heightened bond. There's no suggestion at all that he's unhappy.

OP posts:
AuntieStella · 01/02/2014 19:21

"I can't really look at a married man in that way."

So I hope this means you will stop texting him and talking about him.

The "sleaze balls" btw are texactly he same as this guy; difference is they found a woman who said 'yes'.

Mapleissweet · 01/02/2014 19:22

How old are you? You sound young and naive.
How old is the married man?

AnyFucker · 01/02/2014 19:25

A heightened bond ?

ChilliQueen · 01/02/2014 19:27

Are you implying he has a "heightened bond" with his wife after kissing you? Apologies if I've got the wrong end of the stick.

Goodadvice1980 · 01/02/2014 19:30

A heightened bond?

Blimey, I've just laughed so much I've spat my cough syrup over the keyboard!

JenBehavingBadly · 01/02/2014 19:35

I have loads of male friends too. I know which are married and which are single. My husband knows them all and I've never kissed them.

JenBehavingBadly · 01/02/2014 19:36

"Heightened Bond". Shock

Bwaaahahahaaa! Now you just sound very silly.

Stop texting him.

Original poster
TequilaItMakesMeHappy · 01/02/2014 19:42

No!! Not at all. I mean his home circumstances. Coping with something like that would, I assume, enhance their bond.

We're 30 and 34. Not young, but not old.

I have a lot of male mates. I've met them all in different ways - one was a 1 night stand, one I met on his stag do in Barcelona and wound up going to watch F1 with him and his mates, some are mates from school, some are colleagues and ex colleagues, some have been friends of friends, some were random meetings in random places. They all started with us getting to know one another at different paces etc. There was a point with all of them when I didn't know their last names, marital statuses etc. But I can generally kind of tell whether I have the foundations of a friendship on my hands or not.

OP posts:
ChilliQueen · 01/02/2014 19:47

What are his home circumstances? Coping with what would enhance their bond? Surely kissing you doesn't do their bond any favours?

PeppermintPasty · 01/02/2014 19:47

You're not listening to the good advice on here OP. He's not your friend. He's married and thinks it's ok to snog women on a night out. He's a twat, and so would you be if you read "friendship" or anything more in to this.

basgetti · 01/02/2014 19:49

Sounds like you have plenty of friends then, you could maybe forfeit this one, what with him being a married man who you kissed and everything. If his home circumstances are that bad then I'm sure his wife could do without the added aggravation of her philandering husband sneaking around texting his new 'friend.'

nkf · 01/02/2014 19:51

Oh, let it go. He's a married man who you snogged. Aren't you embarrassed? He took the piss out of you. That's what happened.

Sorcha1966 · 01/02/2014 19:51

I would be deeply unimpressed if my partner was texting a girl he snogged on a night out. There is so much wrong with this whole scenario. If you cant/wont see that then I think you are seriously deluded.

AuntieStella · 01/02/2014 19:51

He's married.

What else doyou need to know?

Go out and find a lovely available man. Or a series of not-so-lovely but available men and have a whale of a time.

But unless up you can afford to jack in your job, don't go near Mr Married Contractor again.

Original poster
TequilaItMakesMeHappy · 01/02/2014 19:56

I won't be going near him, and don't want him!!!

That doesn't mean we can't be mates. Doesn't mean we speak to each other every minute of every day, but a bit of banter in work, work nights out etc.

I haven't said what happened was ok. But I appreciate the circumstances at the time for us both. We both know where we stand and what we want. There was too much booze involved and it was a misguided release. Nothing more.

OP posts:
familyscapegoat · 01/02/2014 19:57

You have an odd communication style OP.

You keep missing out very salient details e.g. 'I got in touch with him today and found out he was married' and 'He told me his wife is bedbound/on her deathbed' (or what ever yarn he span about why his life is so difficult).

But welcome to Mumsnet. I see you've only made 2 posts, both today - the other about overpowering physical attractions people have experienced in their lifetime.

ChilliQueen · 01/02/2014 19:58

The title of your post was "Does he like me?" - again apologies if got this wrong... but you sounded like you hoped he did... or did that change when you found out he was married?

TalisaMaegyr · 01/02/2014 19:59

Are there medical issues with his children OP? Is that what you're hinting at?

This is a really weird thread Confused

I don't understand what you're asking.

Original poster
TequilaItMakesMeHappy · 01/02/2014 20:01

No I namechanged and mostly post about disability normally. But thanks for going to the trouble to search my posts!!

He has spun me no tales at all. He told me very frankly what the facts are. No woe is me, no touting for sympathy. I just understand what he deals with because I deal with something very similar myself.

OP posts:
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