Phoenix, I see there's some doubt about whether you're a real poster or not.
However. I will assume you are.
I have a friend who is beautiful, utterly gorgeous, sexy, bright, clever, together, quite literally a golden vision. And sweet and lovely. She's in her early thirties now.
In her mid twenties she was engaged to a man and they were very happy and faithful. To cut a long story short they split up, remaining friendly but hardly ever seeing each other. She had other relationships whereas he began a relationship with a mutual friend and she got pregnant, I understand because she felt insecure of him, and believed pregnancy would keep him. They lived together. I understand that although he wasn't in love with her, he understood his responsibility and they became engaged. Then she got pregnant again. Neither pregnancy planned, second pregnancy came as a surprise because she was on the pill. These things happen.
They live in a small town and then one day my beautiful friend pitches up again to live there for a year. The man homes in on her like a magnet. Turns up in places where he knows my friend will be, is always there, and they also have lots of mutual friends. Every social event, he is there, with and without his new fiancee, looking longingly at my friend.
My friend gets a bit fed up and confronts him, asks him what he's playing at. Problem is, she still loves him and always has. They talk. They tell each other they still love each other and they still want to be together, but there is this issue of the new fiancee and two babies. They do not do anything physical at all, but they love each other and want to be together but there is an obstacle stopping them doing anything. The obstacle isn't the fiancee but the children.
So he elects to stay with the fiancee for the sake of the children and they have an enormous BIG wedding. With him dreading every minute of it (I am told). My friend has moved away now, to allow him to just get on with his marriage, because she knows it's wrong to be there. However, the man is always texting her and doing things on her face book account. (He is a bit of a shit, if you ask me. Weak.)
So, my point is this:- WHO would want to be in the fiancee's (now wife's) shoes? Her husband in love with another woman but staying with her for the children. Dreading the return of the woman he loves because if he hasn't been unfaithful physically then he has wanted to, and that is as bad. Because he LOVES the other woman. And what we cannot have becomes ever more desirable.
He is trapped. She knows it. She only has him because at the moment he believes he has a responsibility to look after his children. But he doesn't love her, he loves a past love whom he can't be with, but longs to be with.
Convoluted story Phoenix and overly long. But this is you in a few years. Who'd be in your shoes?