Dumpable offence?

[keepingthelidon]

Have been seeing a man for a few weeks, Last time i saw him we have sex for the first time and it was nice
. Saw him again last night, expected more of the same, but he made no moves towards me, wasnt affectionate at all. When we did finally kiss, i took him upstairs where he made no moves on me, but happily recieved some oral. he was naked and i was fully dressed. I was somewhat put out, but thought, ok, maybe he had just been enjoying it too much, so waited around for a second go.
He said the words ' do you want me to put my willy inside you' to which i burst out laughing, because its just not sexy, at all. We did for a bit, swapped position, and then he complained he was being bent in a weird way, so i moved and then he just laid there and didnt restart anything, while i lay there feeling awkward and rejected. After a bit of time i said i needed to sleep and he left.

The whole thing, to me, felt awkward and like he wasnt enjoying any of it, which is quite confusing.

Other than that we had a nice time, but my immediate reaction is to dump as im no longer interested.

views?

I would dump him. He's not interested

If he texts back, just tell him you wish him the best of luck in the future and goodbye. I'd have dumped just for his laying back and taking a BJ with no sign of reciprocating, but that do you want me to put my willy inside you would have killed it entirely.

Five dates is long enough to have had sex twice, but too soon to talk about sex??

I cringe at his willy line, I can't imagine a man saying that, so understand why you laughed. I really don't know how I'd react. Saying that, I don't know how I would feel if a man, on our fifth date, led me upstairs, got naked whilst I was still fully dressed and performed oral sex on me. I'd feel uncomfortable. Fifth date is still undressing each other in the living room stage for me. Playing, learning, exploring and finding out what each other likes.

Sounds very awkward and not what it should be when you're first with someone. He was into it the previous time so can understand you being miffed as to why he wasn't making any moves this time around. Having said that I think taking him upstairs was a mistake, if he wasn't bothered downstairs then I would have just left it. He was telling you by his actions or inactions that he didn't feel like sex for whatever reason.

Are you sure he is not a Judge?

Hes dumped now anyway. We did speak, apparently he shouldnt be dating as he is stil hung up on his ex etc etc and other bullshit.

Glad you've dumped him. The willy comment would have ended it for me too.

Oh FFS OP - it sounds like you're well shot of him. Next!

Bin him!

Your self esteem will be zero in a few weeks if you stay with him.

he invited me to a thing hes going to be at friday and said about hanging out together next week, but theres really no point as far as i can see. Hes on my fb, i should just delete shouldnt i?

Haha, I would have laughed my head off at that How old is he, 15? Do grown up men actually say willy??

Delete and dump. Wet blouse loser he is.

have already done so.
Still feel a bit upset really, just same old, isnt it. Ive been single a long time, everything had been going well till that point and i had hoped, just for a short while, that it might lead to something.
Hurts to be wrong.

Learning experience. Next time the sex is just 'nice', dump.

OP Your not wrong,you couldn't possibly have known he would turn out such a %%%^%

Delete from FB immediately.
Put it down to experience.
Hope the next one is more promising. Hugs.

Thing is, i dont really need any more experience and have had more dates than people have had hot dinners.

I just allowed myself to get overly excited by someone who was, until last night, making all the right moves.

And yet, he also turnes out to be one in a line of crap men.

Oof no. I wouldn't be interested in more of that.

No.

I just dont get why a man would bother with the whole hand holding round town, carrying my bags, holding doors open, holding my coat out for me, that sort of nice stuff, when he wasnt into someone. It doesnt tend to be typical, and i know ive just been given the ' its not you, its me' speach.

And now he keeps texting me to tell me how sorry he is and what an idiot he is.

It doesn't sound as though him (or you) were a bad person, just not compatible. Perhaps he put all of that effort in, you know, generally being polite because he was in to you. It sounds as though you just each put the other off the on the fifth date.

You don't need to know how sorry he is & what an idiot he feels, do you - that's his issue not yours. Perhaps text him words to that effect, can he keep his thoughts to himself & get on with getting over the ex he's hung up on please?!

Then why does he keep asking me to do stuff with him? easing of conscience? he says im really nice to be around and fun.

and no, i dont care about his damn ex, if hes not ready to date, he shouldnt be dating, or should realise a bit sooner and not string people along.

Yeah, sadly that's what I had feared it was OP....

I'd delete from FB and walk away. Chances are he will be back with exgf before the end of the month...

Cross posted..

If you have space in your life for another friend then go out with him as a friend. There no harm in that. But I wouldn't want you to get hurt. It's all about him isn't it....

God what if he just wants what he thinks could be sex with no strings. And crap sex at that for you. Whether he wants that or not, say thanks but no thanks and you don't want contact any more. And delete from Fb.