Height difference: a tall order

[verticallyconfused]

What is the height difference between you and your OH? Do you ever think about it? Are you happy/does it bother you?

I know this sounds incredibly shallow, but my wonderful DP is only a few inches taller than me, and it seems to have the unsettling effect of sometimes making me feel awkwardly big, and more like a friend than a GF.

Has anyone else experienced this? Or am I just being ridiculous? He is loving, caring, concerned for my happiness and would do (pretty much) anything for me. We have fun together and I love him and can't really imagine not being with him.

I feel horribly selfish, if not just nuts, to be considering throwing away an otherwise great relationship over this - but every now and then it comes back to niggle at me.

We're young, healthy, live together but no DCs. Marriage is on the cards for sometime in the next few years.

Apologies now if I go quiet - busy day/weekend ahead. Would love to hear your thoughts. And any tips on how to get past this much appreciated.

Vertically if at this stage you think of walking away then either he's not the right man for you, or you are a commitment-phobe.

It's natural to be worried about settling for someone and hoping it will work ( given the stats for breakdown in marriages) but most people are optimistic at the start of their commitment.

You need to decide if it's your choice of man that's the problem or whether you are over-thinking the whole commitment thing.

What themaltesefalcon said.

I've jut read the OP gain and realised he is taller than you anyway but not be enough deemed sufficient by you.

My eyes have nearly rolled out of my head OP.

Yes, LTB for not being as tall as you require I think you should separate as you clearly don't truly love him

I recently dated a guy an inch or two shorter than me. It was a bit odd but I'm sure I would have got used to it. He had a "big" personality so it didn't really show iyswim.

I think you're nuts or there's more to this than height.

I am 5'9.5". XH was 5'7" and I have to say it wasn't ideal but that wasn't the reason we broke up. I definitely prefer taller men. DH is 6'3" so I can wear pretty high heels and still be shorter than him.

An XP was 'only' 5'11.5" so in heels I was actually slightly taller. He loved my height and it certainly meant we fitted together very well in certain sexual positions

Eh? My current partner is about 9" taller than me (I'm 5'1), and I've been out with people between 3" and 12" taller, not sure it affected the relationship really though I have never found anyone shorter to go out with (may consider Peter Dinklage on the offchance he's reading mumsnet). I can kind of see, in line with current gender stereotypes, why women would want on a superficial level to go out with people taller than them, but really, complaining that he's 'only a few inches taller' is a kind of diamond shoes too tight issue. Assuming he's nice in other respects.

But then I don't wear heels so perhaps I'm not girly enough to comment, dunno. It's actually pretty annoying being short, no clothes are designed for short people and no models etc are short (even the what not to wear type things say short people are impossible to make look nice, ffs, wankers, and they never choose to help short people), you can't barely eat anything without becoming overweight as BMI is skewed towards taller people, you can't reach things in shops, people walk into you because they're too thick to look where they're going, people shove past you because they can, no one serves you at bars, you can't get things on top shelves in most kitchens without going to get a stool, you're discriminated against in politics, customer facing roles (especially men, but women too) etc etc. I really think feeling 'protected' (if you're lucky enough to feel protected rather than feeling intimidated due to past aggression) by a taller partner is pretty minimal compared with all that.

Vertically confused, there is nothing (necessarily) self-indulgent about your original post.

I had a similar dilemma once.

The real truth was that (1) I had reservations about him anyway that proved absolutely correct and (2) I didn't know in my own heart what to look for in a man that was good and real.

All the best.

last bloke, 4" shorter, current about 2" shorter, but i'm tall, thems the breaks. more of an issue for them than me

I'm 5'9", DH is 5'6".

Never been a problem. I don't like heels as I can't walk far in them but I wear them occasionally if we're going somewhere nice- had never occurred to me not to wear them so as to not make the height difference bigger.

Once we were walking down Argyle St in Glasgow and a Big Issue seller came up to us, said "Haw mate she's taller than you" and walked off. We thought it was so funny that we chased after him and bought a magazine.