Height difference: a tall order

[verticallyconfused]

What is the height difference between you and your OH? Do you ever think about it? Are you happy/does it bother you?

I know this sounds incredibly shallow, but my wonderful DP is only a few inches taller than me, and it seems to have the unsettling effect of sometimes making me feel awkwardly big, and more like a friend than a GF.

Has anyone else experienced this? Or am I just being ridiculous? He is loving, caring, concerned for my happiness and would do (pretty much) anything for me. We have fun together and I love him and can't really imagine not being with him.

I feel horribly selfish, if not just nuts, to be considering throwing away an otherwise great relationship over this - but every now and then it comes back to niggle at me.

We're young, healthy, live together but no DCs. Marriage is on the cards for sometime in the next few years.

Apologies now if I go quiet - busy day/weekend ahead. Would love to hear your thoughts. And any tips on how to get past this much appreciated.

Im 6ft and my DP is about an inch shorter than me. Always said i would never go out with someone shorter!
In the past my ex's have always been the same height except 1, and he found it really uncomfortable so we broke up.
I wear heels when im out with my mates, making me about 6'2/3. Always get really short guys trying to chat me up for sone reason

It does bother me being alot taller so i never wear heels with DP and you cant really tell the difference in height then.

Always bugged me that shorties get the tall guys over 6 feet. Makes no sense to me, but seems to be the way

I never wear heals though because a) they hurt and b) I'm already 5'10". I think I'm the unusual one, not him. I certainly seem to be the tallest person in the village anyway...

I'm 5'3". BF is 6'. I don't really notice the difference TBH. People always think I am much taller than I am (good posture I guess), and we fit well.

BF is a gentle giant to my mind, but occasionally (because of his job, which I also do) I am reminded of the fact that he can cut quite an imposing figure, but I can't say I ever feel like the 'little woman.' Ugh.

Stature is something that can be projected as well as defined by physical features. Are you sure you're not fixing on his height when in actual fact what you really want is someone more dynamic?

If it's purely his height, it may help to break it down and ask yourself why that matters. Why do you need to feel he's bigger and stronger than you?

DP and I are the same height, 5'8. We're even the same shoe size, 7. Doesn't matter a jot. Although his mum and sister are both 5ft if that and I do wonder whether we'll have pint sized daughters (when fully grown!). Would be a bit odd given I'm so tall.

I don't get where you coming from at all, maybe you have been reading to many trashy romance novels about frail delicate little women swept up by the tall broad shouldered doctor/hero/warrior?

My DH is about 1 inch taller than I am. He thinks tall is beautiful, which is just as well as I am 6ft1!

I find a man being taller than me very attractive. I have never had a boyfriend of the same height as or shorter than me. Even if he was the nicest man on earth (and occasionally that would be true) the 'spark' just was never there. For me it was a deal-breaker.

Different things attract different people.

But if everything else works for you, perhaps this is not a deal-breaker. You already have the attraction, maybe the rest of the relationship is worth working on?

FWIW my parents have a pair of friends where she is at least 6" taller than him in her bare feet. And she wears heels. They have been happily married for years.

I'm 5'6" and dh is 5'8". I don't think twice about wearing heels.
Mind you, we live in central Scotland so he's not what would be considered a short man round here . He's a pretty hefty guy with broad shoulders so seems taller than he is.

It's all personal taste though. I'm not attracted to thin men at all, but height isn't an issue.

I'm nearly two inches taller than my husband, and 2 stone heavier!!!

He would rather be taller than 5 ft 6, he doesn't mind my height he would just prefer to be taller!

For a long time I didn't wear heels but I am wearing them more and more

To be honest I find the weight difference much worse, when I was 1 to 2 stone lighter than him I was much happier, now I feel very matronly and when I was putting suntan lotion on him I caught a glimpse of us in the mirror....I looked like his fucking mum!!!!!!!!!

I'm 5' 1" and smallish build, so everyone is taller than me. DH is 6' 1" and an ex rugby player, so I crane my neck a lot of the time. I did go out with a boy who was 6' 6" for a couple of years when I was 17 - I adored him, but we did look a bit odd together. I spent a lot of my time in very high heels, if I recall correctly!

I'm 5ft1. Dh is a diminutive 5ft3. Can't say it's ever bothered us, nor has his height ever bothered him. At school he was the sporty/fast/strong one (youth weightlifter!), and he also has a very unarrogant laid-back innate confidence, which comes across when you meet him. We have two sons, who are likely to be quite short themselves as adults - one is on the small side of average now and the other is distinctly small -, and I couldn't wish for a better role model for them than dh.

I think the man/woman height thing has a lot to do with perceived ideal distributions of strength/power within relationships. It might have an evolutionary basis, I suppose, but I would have thought we should be moving on from that by now.

I would say that a man being a few inches taller than his girlfriend is pretty average. I don't really get what the big deal is. If you are considering leaving him over a complete non-problem maybe you don't really love him enough to stay/are looking for excuses to leave?

So he's "only a few inches taller" out of interest what would you consider to be the ideal height difference? .

Love this talk of tinies and shorties getting the tall men. Must be selection for genes to balance out. I'm 146 cm tall dh is six one

I'm 5'4" and dh is a few inches taller. It's not a problem for me. Personality is so much more important.

salisburysteak - I agree. I often tell DH the only reason I married him was for the much needed injection of height into our family's gene pool . Fortunately the DCs appear to have taken after him. Lack of height is a PITA as far as I'm concerned.

I'm 5ft 7 DH 5ft 8
Doesn't bother me

I like tall men too! and won't go out with a man shorter than me and even struggle with dating anyone the same height because of wearing heels. However, I haven't dated more than one man for 5 years, so I rarely think about it these days.

Also, don't forget that we do usually shrink as we age. I have lost 3-4 inches since I was 34 (16 years ago).

DH is 3 inches taller. My ideal man would be about 6', however the fact we don't have to adjust car seats/mirrors, move the footstool away from the sofa, that the bathroom mirror is at the right height, we both need a step stool in the kitchen - all these are good things.

Personally, I preferred it when I was only a bit shorter than my partner.
Ex was too tall and it made some things a bit more difficult.

Why do you feel you have to be much shorter to feel like a girlfriend?

I'm 5'2" and my DP is 5'11", which is fine, but the most noticeable thing about us is that we both weigh the same. So I'm big and quite broad/"fit but fat" (I work out a lot & have muscle but also a lot of bodyfat) while he's long & slender with long limbs. We basically look like Jack Sprat & his Wife (would eat no fat, his wife would eat no lean...)

I love it, I love being burly to his slender :-)

My dh is 6ft 4 and I am 4ft 10.
It has never bothered us, except some of our wedding photos there's only him on them just joking.
He introduces me to colleagues "this is x my wife, I know, you'd expect taller, but she's good to the kids".

My DH is 6ft 4in, I am 5ft 4in, been married 42 years and never had a problem with the height issue, I stand on the second stair for a kiss and cuddle. My grown up DC are 5ft 7 in and 5ft 8 in thank goodness as getting clothes for my DH has always been a problem, along with cars as he has bad knees and getting in and out is a nightmare. My DH comes in handy for reaching things from the top cupboards and window cleaning.
My D Sis 5ft 8in married a man 5ft 9 in their son is 6ft 3 in and his sister is 5ft 7in. My other D Sis is 5ft 1in and takes size 1 shoes.

"this is x my wife, I know, you'd expect taller, but she's good to the kids"

That made me laugh!!

I am 5 ft petite size 6 and dh is a regular 6 ft strapping male. I would like to be taller so it is easier to talk to him standing up .

Is your mum much shorter than your dad OP?