DH has announced that he is going to stay with MIL for a while, leaving me alone with DS

[ApplySomePressure]

Just that really. Not even to my face, he sent a text during work.

History -We have a 10moDS. I teach Secondary, 4 days a week and DH works 5 days a week in the same school (non teaching though). DS is hard work, and we have had a miserable few months since I went back to work. We are shattered. DS does not sleep well.

We both suffer from MH issues - both on antidepressants and DH recently completed 4 years of counselling.

DH keeps telling me that he is not coping with being a Dad. I feel the same, it has been so hard recently. But I do just "get on with it" whereas DH cannot do this. DH gets extremely anxious when DS is stressing him out.

And that's why I think he has gone to stay with MIL. I'm not sure what I feel. I didn't speak to anyone at work about it (they all have to work with him too) and I'm just sitting here wondering if this is ok? Am I ok with this?

I'm too embarrassed to tell DM (she also works in the same school). All my friends work at the school too. I don't have anyone to talk to.

I think I feel let down...? What do I do next?

[Charley50]

I've only got to page 2 of the thread but I think that a lot of the posters so far are being unduly harsh on her DH and totally melodramatic I don't think it is all that helpful to be told to apply for CSA when he has gone away for a couple of hours and admitted he feels like he is falling apart. Maybe he is being manipulative maybe he is genuinely Ill and not coping.

[Charley50]

Couple of days. Maybe it will turn out to be longer, don't know. I'll check the rest of the thread..

[Charley50]

Just seem that you are getting much more sensible and thoughtful responses now and feel relieved for you.
Others have given good advice so I will just add that having children is a shock to the system, MH can be exacerbated by this obviously and that our lives play out in stages... You and your DH can learn from this experience and learn to be more supportive of each by working through it. Have a good rest!! Just remembered one of my female friends ran away (DP knew where she was) for two nights because her small baby and lack of sleep was becoming overwhelming. Everybody was fine; their world didn't fall apart and they now have another child. With kids it changes all the time. Sorry I do go on....!!!

[livingzuid]

So glad you are at your mums and feeling better and rested.

Reading some of the other excellent posts struck a chord With me. My dh often gets overwhelmed as my main offloading point. I'm having a terrible time at the moment actually and we came round to his best friends tonight to give me a break from our awful neighbours and for him to have a break from me and offload to his mate.

It's hard being the main support so please make sure you get the support you need and he isn't too reliant on you all the time. I struggle to look beyond dh for help but it's all part of taking control over ones condition and managing it effectively.

The other thought was that guys do have a tendency to bottle everything up and turn into a pressure cooker and all explodes. My dh is very bad at getting help and I wondered if your dh was the same.

Anyway, musings before bed. Hope you get a great nights sleep.