The Brave Babes Battle Bus - A New Year, A New YOU!

[Mouseface]

New Year Resolutions Anyone?

Welcome one and all, I'm Mouse, nice to meet YOU. :)

This is a thread for those who want to give up drink completely, or are maybe thinking about doing controlled drinking, or cutting down slowly, it's all up to you.

You know your limits, you know what is required, it's in YOUR hands.

Whatever your goal, you'll find unconditional support here. Always.

There will be talk of drinking quite often and those who fall off the Bus will post about it, so if that is going to jeopardise your chances of complete sobriety, then maybe the DRY threads would suit you better, as they are complete abstainers, but EVERYONE IS WELCOME HERE :)

There are no hard and fast rules, other than the support here is unconditional, it may be in the form of tough love at times, but it's always meant with the very best of intentions.

There are two sayings that we rather like here -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

For those of you who'd like some history, here is the very first thread and the reason that we're all here now. FIRST THREAD

And here is the lastest thread, which you can scroll back through to see the other JOURNEYS SO FAR

The Bus may be 'mythical', but the support is real, it is honest and it will help you to achieve what it is that you seek, as long as you are honest with us, but mostly, YOURSELF

See you soon. x

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Happy Valentine's Day to those who are celebrating. :)

Ma - Nemo's cough and snot fest are still going strong, but he has a week off now, are the schools off up there?

Hello Spinach - we've not met, I'm usually here much more but life has been a bit chaotic of late.

Adding to what the lovely guggs has said, we often use or blame drinking for things happening in our lives; whether that be subconsciously or not. I used abuse and alcohol as my reason that we (my fab DH and I) had a disabled DS (aka *Nemo) and lost triplets.

The problem is that alcohol exacerbates things, it makes molehills into impassable mountains, it also reduces your chances to conceive if you are an excessive drinker, BUT it doesn't suddenly make you infertile so a visit to your GP is a good idea and at least a starting point :)

You said - I think I'm useless because I find it so hard to keep my drinking moderate, and I imagine that everyone else who's TTC has effortlessly gone teetotal, stopped drinking coffee, given up smoking, got fit and started eating their 5-a-day, and that I'm not up to scratch so I deserve it - nope, not always the case :)

imagine - so not for sure that everyone else is a saint who are trying to get pg..... not the case. If you've ever watch Jeremy Kyle you know that almost all DNA tests are the result of drunken sex!

Seriously though, guggs has really said it all. Separate all other issues and worries from alcohol. Alcohol is a devious shite that twists your thoughts into thinking that it's to blame, for everything. :)

Faire - that's lovely :)

I'm not eating, the steak dinner with homemade chips, salad and strawberry meringues, with fresh cream and low alcohol cava is on hold as I'm suffering from the most horrific stomach cramps.

Like food poisoning. Some Valentine's Day for us :( Poor DH has had a pre made defrosted chilli and rice and some beer. He's had a really shit week too so I'd gone out today and treated us to a slap up dinner and desert, only to be struck down with this!

TBH I'm really struggling with my mum dying currently and know that my Dad will be very sad today.

I bought her some of her favourite flowers today and put them in the dining room, on the mantle piece with her photos and told her I miss her and want her back. Stupid Mouse. It's a tough day xxx

Ah Mouse, all these 'firsts' without your mum are so hard aren't they. How lovely that you thought to get her favourite flowers. Sorry you're unwell. The meal sounds lovely, definitely keep it for when you're feeling better x

Hi everyone. The evening's are always the worst. I can pretty much hide my anxiety under being reasonably busy during the day, but come evening, I'm tired and I start having these horrible thoughts which start berating me. At the moment I'm going over arguments with my mum - totally pointless because she never listens. I could come up with the most logical and intellegent answer or a really good comeback it won't make any difference because she is so vacant and detached from me. Anyhoo, that's my little rant over for the time being...

Went into town today and had a quite big splurge on clothes (well big splurge by my standards anyway). I have been feeling really frumpy and bag ladyish in what I've been wearing recently - I really have no clothes. Lots of mixmatched colours with ill fitting leggings and jogging bottoms etc. Bought some new jeans, a top and cardigan. For ages I would just go to primark and get something cheap but this time I thought, no fuck it, I'm going to buy something a bit nicer so went to Next and Fat Face (which is more than what I would usually spend on myself since finding out I was pregnant over 3 years ago!). Feel slightly guilty but also a bit hell no, I deserve this - the last month has been really hard and I need to treat myself. I can also sort of justify affording it as I have saved so much money giving up fags and wine in the last month.

At home alone tonight, no valentine's for me but actually feeling OK about that as don't feel ready to be in a relationship at this stage in my life.

Dancer I bet you look fab. Banish those guilty feelings. Enjoy the money saved, you deserve it.

Hello babes

Dropping in to wish you all a good weekend and stay safe in this horrible weather we are having.

Today is day 110 AF for me and I am not saying that to be smug as it has been incredibly hard at times. I just want to be encouraging to those who are struggling as I have been there so many times myself and never thought I would reach this sort of long stretch without booze.

I think last Valentines Day morning after I was most likely fuzzy headed and feeling sick and wishing I had not drank so much, but I still managed a good night last night even without a bottle of champagne (which I would have had 2/3 of!)

It can be done but I only managed to live this fact with the support of the bus, so thank you babes

Love to you all
Does anyone know if Lonnika is still around?

Happy Saturday

Pink X

Hello, a quick wave and hugs to all brave babes on the bus

Pink - Day 110, wow. Thats fab.
Theeverydancer - I totally get the evening bit. I work 4 days a week, so during the day, I'm fine (too bloody busy to think about drink anyway), but come the evening......and the Wednesdays off after doing my housework...hard.

Sorry, can't NC all as on tablet (note to self: buy new battery for laptop),

This would have been day 6 if I didn't have 2 glasses of wine last night, so shall we say 5 & a half (sounds familiar ). Feeling good.

But anyway...I have made a decision. I cannot abstain totally. 2 glasses was a nice amount last night. Just the right amount to relax. In fact, I relaxed so much I fell asleep for nearly 2 hours on the settee. So much for Valentines Day .

If I have 1 bottle of wine to take me over Fri, Sat, and Sun, thats 2 glasses per night, maybe buy reduced - alcohol wine to alternate? AF Kopparberg during the week.

I might also buy in some Becks Blue. Anyway I'll shut up now. Speak later, sorry for the rambling...

Thanks why

Have my new clothes on now and feel much smarter! More like a human being. Well I would do if my DD hadn't given me a terrible night's sleep by coming into my bed (I'm sleeping on a single mattress at the moment, so not much space). Have woken up like a bear with a toothache. Have been snapping at poor DD all morning. Am extremely irritable. She should have gone to her dad's last night but he wanted to go to a last minute work do thing so I had her last night. He really should of picked her up by now. Just got through to him on his phone and he sounds like he has only just got up. Am stressed cos I am so tired but also have a huge amount of work to do as have an essay to complete this week. I just want to cry. My DD is so clingy at the moment, (she's 2 1/2) needs me to 'watch' her play, is constantly climbing on top of me. It is doing my head in!

PINK lovely to see you again and bloody well done on remaining AF.
mouse ds is off for 3 days next week, not this week. He never seems to be in school these days.
Fourth dress from eBay arrived today...I have to stop this!!! However I think this is the one ...I shall go to the awards dinner after all.

Hi babes, it's a bright sunny day in Bonny Scotland so spirits are high (poor choice of words). .spinach I have read your posts and totally empathise with your situation. I'm no expert but I'm slmost certain your medical history is irrelevant in your current quest to conceive, everyone has a past and you can't stop living your life whole your trying!!! I honestly honestly think the stress and worry your putting yourself through is unnecessary but the fact you care enough to worry tells me you'll make a great mother, I'm do glad we are part of your journey!! Just to put things into perspective, I was told I couldn't have any more children after dd1 who's 14 due to pelvic damage caused by Crohn's disease !! At the age of 40 while drinking daily, smoking occasionally and a 43 year old dh who had never fathered a child we got very unexpectedly pregnant!!' She is 3, perfectly healthy and the best surprise 40th gift I could imagine.... I had to stop drinking immediately and with the shock this wasn't easy. I was thrilled but worried if id already harmed the baby and also horrified that despite this miracle I had the cheek to miss wine, one week
I was drinking daily, then nothing for 9 months snd the worry of whether my shriveled up womb and drinking past would affect the outcome, it didn't, she's perfect. What's meant for you will not go by you and YOU will be a mum and a brilliant one too xxxx

"What's meant for you will not go by you"

babyjane - Those words are so I inspiring, Very positive. Words to remember :)

only my gran used to say it all the time and she was a great lady. It's got my through marriage, divorce, illness and grief, and here I am with second marriage and a unexpected baby and I have to say even in death she was right!!!! Xx

guggenheim, I'm glad you braved it

mouse, your comments on us blaming alcohol or using it to 'explain' unhappy life events were a bit of a revelation. I absolutely do that. I'm so sorry to hear about your lost triplets, and your DS's health problems. Life is so arbitrary.

On a more trivial note: the Jeremy Kyle comment made me laugh. You are so right.

I hope you are feeling better . . .

babyjane, your story is wonderful what a lovely surprise. Thanks so much for your kind words. My DH tells me I'll be a good mum because I care enough to worry. Must start listening

dancer, hi. I totally relate to what you say about evenings. I'm not a daytime drinker - just don't want it - but my 'critical' spot is between about 5 and 7pm. And the intrusive thoughts . . . oh yeah. I've been a lot lighter on the drink the last couple of days and I can't bloody sleep from running over past disagreements and dwelling on negative rubbish. It's like having a radio on in your head that you can't switch off. Something that sometimes works for me at night is to focus on retelling the plot of a book or a film I know, in my head. I know it sounds absolutely mental, but it's a neutral, boring thing to think about which gets my brain to shut up for the five or so minutes that I need to relax into sleep. Kind of 'radical distraction'.

And I think it's lovely that you went out and bought yourself some nice clothes. One of the first things my alcohol counsellor said to me was 'Do you ever do anything nice for yourself?' And I had to answer 'no'. Because I was in the middle of the booze vortex and didn't think I deserved it. But you do!

live, I like Beck's Blue. It provides the ritual and the props of drinking without the actual alcohol. I used to find it a very useful Friday night prop, to take the edge off the feeling of 'missing out'. Should try it again . . .

5 to 8 is my killer time too spinach
Once I get past that, the craving starts to die back a bit.
I switch to becks blue too for a substitute and it seems to help.

Having a lazy day today and enjoying it. What are you all up to today?

ma how are you feeling?? Wish I could see "the dress", you sound like a hot, foxy lady, betcha look gorgeous xxxxx

Lol baby
Its midnight blue,beaded,strappy. Tres elegant and decorous for a lady of my advanced years.
Just need some scaffolding and gravity defying underwear now

Hellooooo...

Where is everyone?

I'm here ma are you feeling any better?

I have some wine, but can't decide whether to open it or not. Have a bit of a funny stomach, so really shouldn't but... I've been looking forward to it...

Oh well maybe it's too late to drink it now. I guess it's good to get in the habit of having some in the house, but controlling the urge, if there is a reason. D'argh.

I'm here too. One eye on the telly, watching a movie about King Arthur. We have four 14 year old boys here for a sleepover tonight so not anticipating much actual sleep.

Joey save it for another day if you're not that fussed about having it. I really wanted some wine and crisps yesterday but so glad now that I didn't have it. It's a passing fancy. That WW can just jog on...

Hey babes. Feeling much better thanks. Had a few glasses of red but not inclined to drain the bottle which is good.
Sounds like a lively night in your house faire
All quiet here with dh on night shift, ds in bed and the girls out. Just a sneezing cat for company.

Hello isinde are you okay?

Hi it was reccommended I join here I'm not a alcoholic but a drug addict I smoke 4 g of skunk a week and I'm on day two of going clean. I have to go clean because I have a pychotic mental illness and the skunk is making me more pychotic. Which is not fair on my family. Dh and doctors have demanded I give up so here I am. I'm finding it difficult to get to sleep at night and the mornings are hard when I usually have my first bit of skunk.

Heysui and welcome. sleeping at night is a common problem for those of us trying to go alcohol free but it does get better after a few days. Can you identify your trigger times and be ready with an alternative action or food/drink?
I know, believe me, that its not as easy as that but it helps. Hang in there. The others will be along soon with wise words.

I usually smoke it all day so they are all trigger times except the morning and the night is worse.