The Brave Babes Battle Bus - A New Year, A New YOU!

[Mouseface]

New Year Resolutions Anyone?

Welcome one and all, I'm Mouse, nice to meet YOU. :)

This is a thread for those who want to give up drink completely, or are maybe thinking about doing controlled drinking, or cutting down slowly, it's all up to you.

You know your limits, you know what is required, it's in YOUR hands.

Whatever your goal, you'll find unconditional support here. Always.

There will be talk of drinking quite often and those who fall off the Bus will post about it, so if that is going to jeopardise your chances of complete sobriety, then maybe the DRY threads would suit you better, as they are complete abstainers, but EVERYONE IS WELCOME HERE :)

There are no hard and fast rules, other than the support here is unconditional, it may be in the form of tough love at times, but it's always meant with the very best of intentions.

There are two sayings that we rather like here -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

For those of you who'd like some history, here is the very first thread and the reason that we're all here now. FIRST THREAD

And here is the lastest thread, which you can scroll back through to see the other JOURNEYS SO FAR

The Bus may be 'mythical', but the support is real, it is honest and it will help you to achieve what it is that you seek, as long as you are honest with us, but mostly, YOURSELF

See you soon. x

Sets sat nav for France and orders a croissant fro the trolley.
Still feel like boiled shite but on the plus side 2 days af as prefer lemsip. Dh manfully battling the weather, wind and snow here, to get some shopping. I am in bed..... And why is soc under my duvet?

Hello everyone, I'm tentatively flagging down the bus. Looking for a support group . . .

I'm working on my drinking habits at the moment, used to have a proper habit (we're talking 90+ units a week here), but got counselling a few years ago which really helped. Still, it tends to creep up on me and I struggle to keep away frow the wine. It's particularly stressful because we're trying to conceive our first child, so I need to properly curb the drinking. The trouble is it's been over a year now, with 2 chemical pregnancies and a miscarriage in there, and I'm finding it really hard to be healthy. I lost my job after the MC (my charming boss fired me because I 'was only going to get pregnant again'), and I don't have a great friendship group. I know I can beat back the booze temptations - when I was pregnant I was teetotal and it was great - but with the stress of not conceiving and living in limbo is making it really hard. I'm drinking a couple of glasses of wine a night at the moment (sometimes a bottle if it's in the first two weeks of my cycle), and drowning in the feeling that it's my fault we aren't getting pregnant. At the same time I feel a tremendous resentment at cutting down and giving it up, because the couple of hours in the evening after I've had a glass are the only time I feel OK, relaxed, not anxious. I feel that if only life would start again, and I had a reason not to drink, like when I was pregnant, I'd have something to aim for and everything would be OK.
I need people to talk to who understand what this is like. It feels unfair to keep burdening my DH with it (I feel like a stuck record) and those of my friends who do know are either shocked, which makes me feel stigmatised, or dismissive ('oh, it's only a couple of glasses of wine, I drank before I knew I was pregnant, you'll be fine'). I want to cut down and build in alcohol-free days every week, but at the moment it's really getting on top of me.

Sorry for the essay

welcome spinach and well done for being brave and making that first post! I'm sure wiser Babes than I will be along in a minute with support and advice.

Do we have a quarantine trailer for the poorly Babes?

I vote we take Gerald somewhere warm and dry.

Hi spinach and welcome to the bus, this is a great place to find support. There are loads do babes and we are all in different situations but we all understand the power booze has.

So you want to cut back? A great way to start would be a night off tonight, however unappealing that sounds. It won't be easy, especially around the time you normally would have a glass but it is possible. You did it when you were pregnant.

The tactics that help me are mainly bath and bed. The bath takes me out of the kitchen/lounge where I would normally be quaffing and I would not drink in bed either. Could you buy a trashy magazine, a new book? It may be a bit of a white knuckle evening but waking up tomorrow will give you a sense of achievement, relief and control. It is a real joy and will ease some of your anxiety. It is just one night and you don't need to think any further than that. If you need to, bargain with yourself that you can drink tomorrow. Post on here, there is usually someone around to chat to. GOOD LUCK! you can do it xx

joey you raise a good point about the meal size. I was eating my spec k this morning an realised it was probably a bigger portion than the allocated calorie measure. Also, orange juice is liquid calories!!

Hi Beaches, thanks for your response. I was planning to have a night off tonight as well, like you say it'll clear the decks a bit. We're going out and doing the food shop so I'll be out the best part of the evening.

For me the killer is being in the kitchen, cooking. Massive trigger. If I can eat earlier, also, I lose interest in alcohol. And you're right about the 'reward' thing (book etc): a lot of the time I need to look further than the drink I'm having/ not having, and spot something good that's happening in the near future. Once I know that's planned, it doesn't seem like too much of a loss to go without another glass of wine.

I'll update . . .

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

Just popping in, will be back later and I'm sorry I've been rubbish at supporting you guys.

Big hugs to those of you who are new, to those of you who are struggling and massive high fives to those who have kicked the WW into touch!

See you all later xxx

Grabs duvet from ma and pours dettol all over Gerald

I'm back from my meal out. I was hilarious (well I think so anyway), argumentative and just plain boring too. Much like when I'm drunk. It's all just a sham. I'm dead tired. Great evening. Shame the good was shit. But I'm sober and it was just fine. Good night babes. Stay strong. X

Food. Not good.

The food was not good.

Wait, so this Bus has a Roofrack and a Sidecar and we're towing a limo trailer...?

We're going to need a police escort soon.

indie thank you dearest. Its nice to know SOMEONE cares. < glares balefully at rest of bus passengers>
spinach you are very welcome. Ignore the nonsense - or join in! - and know that this is a good place to be with people who completely understand and won't judge.

Sorry for not checking in last night, took DS to an astronomy lecture, then got home and spent time getting very cold and wind blow outside - but did get to see Jupiter's moons

I definitely detect 'boing' Isinde , don't go all 'girl-racer' on us whilst you're at the wheel!

Welcome, Spinach, the kitchen does it for me too. I've found the technique that works for me both in the kitchen and out and about, is visualization, rather than going for the wine on auto pilot without thinking, I identify the situation in advance and imagine myself pouring an alternative - or ordering in a pub. It has to be really specific 'lime and soda' rather than 'not wine' or 'soft drink'; but the brain is a powerful thing if we use it.

Poor ma, lemsip makes me retch (oh yeah, so does wine!); do we have a microwave on board? You need a warm teddy bear with some soothing essential oils to cuddle.

I hate being ill (stupid statement I know), but I've had to go back to work before I'm recovered because no one picks up the slack whilst we're away, so I just have everything that should have been done over the last week left for me .

Hello Mouse, hope you're well, lots of cheery waving to everyone else, I know the sun here at Sweet Towers is only temporary, but it feels like Spring might not get cancelled after all. Off out tonight to a comedy, would happily stay home under a duvet, but DH is desperate to see the headline act.

Good luck with the vegan delights Isinde - in my experience (as a longtime veggie, but not vegan), mains are OK, but I have yet to have a really good pudding in a Vegan restaurant - it would be a bit too much like enjoying yourself . have fun, stay strong x

Thanks for the tip, Lathyrus. I just did a little visualising of drinking lemonade with dinner tonight

Isinde, thanks for your kind words. I don't tend to think I'm carrying a lot of worry, and it's only when someone mentions it that I stop and think that actually, I am.

Vegan raw food place....sounds...ERM...delicious!
I have just scoffed a family size bar of galaxy.
Feed a cold yes?

Definitely feed a cold...just don't go getting a fever

Vegan raw food Stay strong tonight, you can do it x

We are expecting more storms here, if you are right isinde they should be coming your way next week. Roll on the Spring, I have ordered all my seeds in anticipation

Visualisation is such a brilliant tip Sweet, also alternative drinks. When wine is the default, even thinking of an alternative can be hard. Hope your dinner and lemonade go well Spinach

Hi Spanna, hope things are ok with you babe x

Have a good evening everyone, I'm off to a comedy club that serves extremely mediocre wine, so no temptation there! Lime and soda, here I come!

Why, with a raspy throat,snotty nose and splitting headache so I still crave a glass of wine? Its insane. I wouldn't even be able to taste it but I still want it. How deep does this addiction go?

The mental addiction is harder to shift than the physical ma. It's because we've had years of habits and association. Tell it to fuck off.

(as JWN would say, btw. I am far too much of a lady to use such language)

I have made a momentous life-long decision. No, it's not to go sober forever - that would be too much

But I've realised I can't do without the Bus, and will always have to keep checking in, staying alert and careful. Not every day, but regularly, hopefully at least once a week. I need that reminder, not to lose sight of what we're all doing. I need YOU Babes

This is because even after dry January, I still have triggers and weak spots. Like I had to go to Sainsbury's to get Lucozade for poorly DH ("and it has to be the original flavour, and could you pick up some clear soup - beef consomme if they have it - and I really fancy some melon" hmm, perhaps he's on the mend?!)

Anyway... trawling round, I nearly picked up more wine... only the repeated messages on here are as somebody said becoming "embedded". So, here I am, sign me up for lifelong membership.