The Brave Babes Battle Bus - A New Year, A New YOU!

[Mouseface]

New Year Resolutions Anyone?

Welcome one and all, I'm Mouse, nice to meet YOU. :)

This is a thread for those who want to give up drink completely, or are maybe thinking about doing controlled drinking, or cutting down slowly, it's all up to you.

You know your limits, you know what is required, it's in YOUR hands.

Whatever your goal, you'll find unconditional support here. Always.

There will be talk of drinking quite often and those who fall off the Bus will post about it, so if that is going to jeopardise your chances of complete sobriety, then maybe the DRY threads would suit you better, as they are complete abstainers, but EVERYONE IS WELCOME HERE :)

There are no hard and fast rules, other than the support here is unconditional, it may be in the form of tough love at times, but it's always meant with the very best of intentions.

There are two sayings that we rather like here -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

For those of you who'd like some history, here is the very first thread and the reason that we're all here now. FIRST THREAD

And here is the lastest thread, which you can scroll back through to see the other JOURNEYS SO FAR

The Bus may be 'mythical', but the support is real, it is honest and it will help you to achieve what it is that you seek, as long as you are honest with us, but mostly, YOURSELF

See you soon. x

And here is my post part 2. Next, I am going to rewrite War and Peace...

Well done to all of you on Fit February. Seeing as I brought it up I have been leading from the front as usual ahem, been rather a failure on the fitness front . Not done the shred at all as my plan was to do it early in the morning before work but exhaustion has not allowed me to get up at 6.30am. You haven't been doing crunches on your own though Beaches as I have done 3 x 45 minute and 1 x 120 minute exercise classes this week so have suitably sore abs. Just can't find them under all this flab . Been eating everything in sight lately, just can't seem to exercise any self control. AngryFeet - I know how you feel. I actually think I could win a pie eating contest at the moment, am just ravenous! Have kept drinking to just weekends - not massively overdoing it, just Saturday and Sunday, half a bottle of red and a vodka nightcap one night a week and a beer or two or single glass of wine the other. Can still feel the pull to have more though - it is actually simpler not to drink at all and am working up to that. And planning to start diet again tomorrow as ever, Monday optimism! So Anne and Beaches if you still want to be in my support group, I'm trying again tomorrow. And Faire, I humbly pass over my fitness crown to you as I am so awed by your amazing 10lb loss - how did you do it? You and Soc are going to be my diet coaches from now on, like it or not!

Mouse, sorry you are in pain babe. Glad Nemo got over his feeding tube mishap. I hope you have a good, pain-free week. You are a toppermost rodent, thanks for being here for us all.

Finally welcome to Polly and hope Isinde is out there and OK somewhere. Come back Isinde, I miss your scouse humour!

Off to bed now before facing another week. Wankbadger has reverted to type today after a rather creepy few weeks following my last ultimatum where he was trying very hard to be nice. Which was like watching a horse trying to climb a ladder. Today I have been blamed for .. the tupperware not having a place in the cupboard, the kids not doing their homework till Sunday night (isn't that some kind of kid law?), typing this too loudly (ds told him off for that - he has changed since Christmas, always leaps to my defence if I'm unfairly criticised) and the price of the Observer newspaper. Weirdly, I have started keeping notes on his behaviour. Not sure if I think it will one day help me in court, or if the randomness just makes me laugh.

Sorry for such a long post, those of you who have not fallen asleep. And sorry if I missed anyone out. Please find some leftover hobnobs on the dashboard for those of you not dieting.

Have a brave babe week everyone xxx

Rural I knew I had missed someone. How are you lovely? Hello to the ewes x

Hello lovely Hope

watching a horse climb a ladder You sound really positive which is fab. Sounds manic and sleep is far more important than exercise at 6am the 2 day drinking sounds like you're aware of the dangers of slipping and you haven't I hope this week isn't too manic, try and breathe and have some solitary moments that are just yours and only yours

Morning everyone.

Welcome, Polly, Ma, it's a bad patch, don't beat yourself up, that will lead to unhelpful thoughts like 'I drank yesterday, so I might as well drink today', switch it around and remember not to project forward (or backwards), one minute at a time . . . you know all of it, and sometimes it gets harder, but we are all here to support you.

Hope - I like a good long novel, but how can you be a fitness failure if you've done all those classes? My trainer insists on rest days, in fact, after a particularly hard session, on two.

Is there a night-school class in 'wankbadgery' somewhere? My ex used to blame me for the most ridiculous things too; apparently the state of parking in London was my fault, as was fact that if we ever went out for a meal, I got more chips than he did ; and my personal favourite (though I admit in the end I did do it just to annoy him), I didn't chop vegetables small enough when I cooked, so he had to use a knife to cut them himself !

Well done to everyone for those little victories, celebrate each and everyone, they soon add up; and here's a silver lining from my inner ear infection . . . it's giving me vertigo, so I feel like I'm falling, even lying down, and the antibiotics are making me feel tired and nauseous . . . now, does that sound familiar to anyone? It's very like drinking a bottle of wine, except, this is an illness, and I hate it, so why would I ever want to inflict these symptoms on myself voluntarily? Made me think anyway!

like isinde see you later babes xx
busy time here.
All is well kept to my 2 bottles this week xx

I know we are all, always on the lookout for interesting AF drinks, this weekend I found 'Laimon Fresh' at Sainsbury's. It is lemon lime and mint, which is actually nicer than it sounds - think of it as a non-alcoholic Mohito - it's a bit sweet, and needs to be cold, but good in those early days when you would otherwise be mainlining opal fruits, jelly beans and cream eggs! For those of you interested in calories, it's about 150 per can, which is high, but you wouldn't actually want more!

demented as long as you’re in the sidecar and not disappearing altogether that’s ok. You may think she’s winning, but actually the fact that you keep coming back means you’ve got her by the tits. Saggy disgusting things that they are. Probably hanging down to her knees. Hairy revolting knees. Anyway, am tucking you firmly into the sidecar with a big fluffy blanket. I’ll tuck isinde right up next to you (I think).

everydaydancer I stuffed my face with chocolate. Every time I give up (millions of times) I got through days and weeks of eating copious amounts of chocolate. It wears off after a while. And I love chocolate so maybe it takes me a little longer to get that habit under control. Now I’m drinking loads of coke zero. Hate the fucking stuff, but it seems to be filling a gap.

spanna being thinking of you and your friends. Someone else I know just had their years anniversary of their little boy dying. It’s not fair. Really no parent should go through that.

beaches thanks. I may take my kids to see Lego. Going to movies is another thing I’m doing more of because now it doesn’t interfere with my drinking. Went to see 12 years a Slave last night. In my current emotional state it wasn’t such a good idea.

rural well done on only 2 bottles. That’s fantastic.

Hello sweet hope your ear infection clears up. They can be nasty.
looking the soup diet was luck. I went on a ‘health kick’ and decided to eat only homemade soup and juice….was majorly healthy and drinking heavily. Oh how delusional I am. But I lost weight and that was nice.

I’m and why big hugs to you both. Hope life starts being kinder to you soon.

Well done fated on the coffee. I may have one now. Going to watch movies with my husband and since I can’t swig back wine I need to find something else. Water gets tired very quickly.

Welcome polly. This bus is nuts but fantastic.

Hello guggs and its and splap and mouse and annie and mrF (bloody awesome 41 days) and angry feet

Hope I haven't forgotten anyone. And hello to anyone lurking.

Gives barrie a little stroke, fires up Gerald and takes the corner on 2 wheels. Wake up babes……we’re on a mission here.

Hi all managed to last the evening without drinking last night despite DH drinking next to me. Had a terrible nights sleep feeling sweaty and stomach pains - don't know if it's connected. So I don't feel as chipper and clear headed as I expected to this am.

However. Onwards and am not going to drink today.

Am three weeks in to healthier eating - mostly kicked the carbs and the sugar so the wine is the last thing to go.

Hi sober I think I read some research once about the body digesting liquid food like soup, more slowly than the same meal eaten as solids with a glass of water, which means you feel fuller for longer, so I may start following your brilliant example!

Polly, lots of the babes will tell you that their first few nights were very disturbed, and that it took a couple of days to a weeks to start feeling the benefits because you are finally seeing a hangover through to the end instead of medicating it with the hair of the dog. But, day one under your belt, let's make it two

polly that sounds exactly like what I go through for the first few days. Hang in there. Eat loads of food and drink loads of water. And if you can have a nap during the day. The first few days are really shitty.

sweet that accidental soup diet was amazing for me. And even more amazing that the weight has stayed off. I may try it again just to shift another 3kg or so. it's worked so much better than anything else I tried. Adding cheese and chillies (fresh chopped up chillies) also helped because it took away the dullness of it all.

Morning babes :)

Day one today, I want to stay af till Saturday. I've not been drinking alot, usually one glass, but it's most days so I need to get a grip on it.

Second day of healthy eating, aiming for a thousand cals a day so I really can't afford the extra wine calories...

Hi my lovely babe friends, I have not been on much cos of my guilt at the fact I've been drinking again. I am bewildered at going from a slimmer, nicer, happier, calmer me to the bloated, skint, guilty, tetchy bottle and a half a night crap me. I am furious with myself and my self loathing levels are sky high. I feel so crap and have let everything in the house go and myself!! Anyway day 1 here and thank god for you guys xx

At least you are back, Baby. You know what feeling good is like, so start with some self love instead of self loathing x

baby! So great to have back with us. It's shocking how quickly we can return to those old habits isn't it. But they took years to create, they will take a little while to undo.

It's a bit like being caught up in a whirlpool and going round and round and round until you get a chance to pull yourself out of it. Then it's such a relief to go back to not drinking for a while.

If only that bloody WW wasn't always lurking, ready to push us back in.

hope what a great post

No big secrets to my weight loss I'm afraid, I'm just sticking to 1000 calories a day. Certainly no room for alcohol there. 200 for breakfast, 300 for lunch and 500 for dinner. No snacks. It's quite hard sticking to it but the quick weight loss is my motivation.

I was going for 30lbs in 90 days. Not sure if I'll do it within the timescale but I'm sticking to it until I've lost 30lbs, however long that takes. No excuses this year, I have to shift it, so it's going to happen! The sooner the better as far as I'm concerned.

Not much exercise at the moment but I will have to step it up soon. I try to do 10,000 steps a day. I wear one of those wristband that calculates all sorts of things and track it all on my laptop. The charts and graphs pander to the geek in me

I'm also keeping track of my blood pressure and all my measurements. Full body overhaul going on here. I even track my sleep!

Polly welcome aboard and well done for resisting last night. I would have found that really hard, if not impossible, in the early days. Now my dh just drinks beer or whisky if he wants a drink because I won't touch that.

As others said, the first few days are actually quite rough because the hangover gets to run it's course without being topped up again with more alcohol. It should all be out of your system within a couple more days so stick with it, lovely, you will feel loads better soon.

You might even get the Boing!

Baby Dont feel that you have lost to the WW. Both controlled drinking and total abstinence are like a life long arm wrestling match. Sometimes it looks as if your arm will touch the table first, but if you dig deep you can always get the strength to lift your arm back to the center and over to the other side. I know you can do it Baby. Remember, 2014 is our year.

Hi everyone. Day 33 for me. Having a bad day. Had really bad anxiety last night and couldn't get to sleep until about 4am I only managed to get a couple of hours sleep as my ex was dropping off on his way to work. Today I have spent a good part of the day zoned out on the sofa whilst I think DD has been bored playing on her own or watching Cbeebies. Took her out for quite a long walk and then some reading time at the library in the afternoon. Coming back home, I was so tired and grouchy, and she was walking really slowly and kept dawdling and playing up, and I just lost it and shouted at her to get a move on. Made her cry. Now I feel like a horrible person

Since I've given up the booze and fags (and now caffeine drinks) I have been really shouty (whereas I wasn't so much before). But now it is quite a common occurence for me to just shout and yell and rant and rave a bit at home. I guess it must be all the angry emotions I have been trying to bury all these years coming to the surface. I hope its a case of releasing them and at some point I will calm down but some days I feel like a crazy bag lady shouting on my own at home... It feels almost like tourettes, I can't quite help it. I don't do it in front of my DD though but I'm worried my neighbours will hear. Like last night, I was talking over things out load in my room, and because I was quite upset, I'm sure that I was shouting . I'm now really paranoid that my neighbours could hear my mumbled, probably quite incoherent rantings I feel like I'm going insane.

Sorry for the long post. Its been "one of those days" and just wanted to vent.

Dancer 33 Days is AMAZING you are doing sooooo well You have given up alcohol, fags and caffeine that is a feat it really is, you should be very PROUD of yourself No wonder you are feeling tetchy, angry and all over the place. It's a HUGE re-adjustment to your life and I for one pat you on the back Have you thought about going to counselling or something like yoga just to start doing 'something' for you xxx

Baby darling sooo good to have you back please don't worry about being in Gerald's sidecar you are such a lovely person, just keep posting and being with us

Polly I couldn't have done that, well done Keep going Babe the worst days are the first 5 if you can do those you're half way there. Sleep takes a while. For me I'm sure it's, when I'm pissed I pass out, when I'm 'sober' my real thoughts are passing through my brain, reality

Nuff always lovely to hear you you'll 'kick it' (with the weight loss) I know it

Why lovely post to Baby. Hope you're ok xxx

Soc mega post goooood NCing Hope you've had a good day. Where is Gerald off to tonight???

Barrie might have to come and get you Ma

Beaches hugging you darling, as always xx

I'm you ok Babe x

Sweet I quite like Fanta Limon. Trying out all these AF drinks is an experience Good to have you around

Rural how are your Ewes? hope you're ok xx

Hope Mouse Isinde You're all in my thoughts xxx

Posting before I lose this mamouth post, sorry bit long - love to all posting and lurking xxx

Anne sorry Babe missed you there AF until Saturday, you can do it, you know you can It's only another 5 sleeps

Hello lovely brave babes, so many brilliant posts I don't know where to start so I am going to chicken out and just give you all a very hearty wave

I have had one of my horrible headaches for the last few days, my right eye and temple have constant dull throbbing pain. It s not enough to take to the fainting couch but it makes everything so miserable and the painkillers don't seem to help. Not sure if it is hormone or weather related. I have had them for years but because of my regular drinking I always attributed them to that and blamed myself. Anyway I think/hope it is easing off now.

Im you asked about the weather, it is still snowing on and off, everywhere is white and the temperature is sitting around -10. We don't expect to see grass for another month or more but we are getting plenty of sunshine. I am sorry to hear you are getting flashbacks. How about we drag you out of the whirlpool this week and you treat yourself to a few sober sleeps?

Maybe we could make a human chain and pull babes back from the vortex . Go on Spanna, you go nearest the edge....I can't, I'm poorly!!!

Sending all my love to all those struggling. Xxx

Im joining people in a bad day. Suddenly overcome by rage and fruatration. Too busy with work and details to sit down and figure out where it is really coming from, so its just blind, directionless rage.

Having difficult time with DH. More difficult time witj demanding boss (who followed me into bathroom whileI was peeing to continue to talk to me). JUST GIVE ME 5 FUCKING MINUTES TO MYSELF.

Just needed to vent.

Why OMG she (I hope she was a she) followed you into bathroom and carried on talking to you - that is beyond the call of duty I would be raging....hopefully your shift will be over soon and you can have some 'well deserved' time to yourself xxx

Beaches sorry you're not well honey Still got snow then. I have been waiting for your weather forecast Sunshine and snow is better than blizzards, I suppose. If your headache has been going on for that long maybe you should be taking yourself to the Doc, just to be on the safe side? Not sure I'm strong enough to be on the edge of a vortex right now, can you suggest someone else please....xxxx ps I do like living 'on the edge' pps my offer was accepted on the flat. that now means I've got a whole heap to sell

Why No wonder you are raging - following you into the bathroom, has she no shame? (I am assuming boss is a she, a he would be even more bizarre). I am used to children and dogs ignoring my need for pee privacy but a boss? Bloody hell!!

Oh Spanna, congratulations on the flat babe! So it's challenge Spanna time! nothing like a deadline to focus the mind. Unfortunately I haven't got a dr at the moment, they are thin on the ground here, so will try and work out patterns myself. There are walk in clinics if need be. Sorry for trying to push you to the edge of the vortex, forget that idea!!

Beaches I am going to be a 'nag' quite that Docs are thin on the ground, please take that trip to the walk in clinic. Your headache sounds like it's been with you for some time, 'nag' 'nag' and will keep 'nagging'......go and see the Doc pleeeeease xxx

Thanks for the nagging lovely , I may just go there tomorrow if I still feel like this. Promise x