The Brave Babes Battle Bus - A New Year, A New YOU!

[Mouseface]

New Year Resolutions Anyone?

Welcome one and all, I'm Mouse, nice to meet YOU. :)

This is a thread for those who want to give up drink completely, or are maybe thinking about doing controlled drinking, or cutting down slowly, it's all up to you.

You know your limits, you know what is required, it's in YOUR hands.

Whatever your goal, you'll find unconditional support here. Always.

There will be talk of drinking quite often and those who fall off the Bus will post about it, so if that is going to jeopardise your chances of complete sobriety, then maybe the DRY threads would suit you better, as they are complete abstainers, but EVERYONE IS WELCOME HERE :)

There are no hard and fast rules, other than the support here is unconditional, it may be in the form of tough love at times, but it's always meant with the very best of intentions.

There are two sayings that we rather like here -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

For those of you who'd like some history, here is the very first thread and the reason that we're all here now. FIRST THREAD

And here is the lastest thread, which you can scroll back through to see the other JOURNEYS SO FAR

The Bus may be 'mythical', but the support is real, it is honest and it will help you to achieve what it is that you seek, as long as you are honest with us, but mostly, YOURSELF

See you soon. x

Morning babes and I hope everyone who is struggling has a lovely relaxing day.

Had another drink last night, didn't really want it - it's just habit. Then I got to thinking, what am I going to do at Sainsbury's, I will want to buy more wine - but cannot drink 3 days in a row. Eventually I came up with a solution, not a brilliant one - more of a compromise - I would buy the wine but leave it in the car.

2 years ago it wouldn't have occurred to me to think about it. 1 year ago, I would have worried about it, but not been able to find a solution. Now I am finding more tactics, ideas and I can see a way through!

I was so pleased with my idea, that I was inspired to pour my remaining wine back in the bottle as I didn't really want it anyway. (Couldn't pour it away - that would be a Step Too Far)

Well done Joey

It struck me when I read your earlier post that you are now drinking mindfully, as in you can't just drink it without being aware of your feelings about it, if that makes sense?

I think that's a good thing, something is changing and it can't go back. I hope Sainsbury's isn't too busy for you today, everyone seems to be shopping as there isn't much else to do in this weather.

Anyone flooded out by the way? We have been ok, got a bit battered by storms this weekend but the roof stayed on this time!

Soc mmmmm broccoli and pine nut soup (with cheese)

I bet Isinde has some good recipes too.

Hello brave babes

Great list Im, it helps us all keep track of the babes. Sorry you are having more and more problems withy the social workers, it must be terrible not to be believed especially when you are reaching out for help. You would think that every abuser was going to use the "she's mad" line to try and defend themselves. I am sure the spot checks are stressful too. Hang on in there and try and swallow your frustration when they are there and do whatever they want you to do. You are being so strong love, keep going. Xx

Soc the soups sound lovely and well done on losing 8kg! We love our cheese to and have just discovered a new one - Asiago with Rosemary and olive oil. (Sounds a bit poncey but it was on a tasting table and we couldn't resist) Just need a little bit on a cracker...heaven!

Faire 10lbs!! Well done. You sound really motivated too.

fated how are you today? Come back and post

Spanna You are never far from my thoughts, hope you are coping ok babe xx

slap hope your enjoyed your lunch and had a huge pudding!

joey love that you have all these new tactics and thought processes for dealing with old saggy tits. I would not have considered any other option a few years ago either, just bought it and glugged it back. Slowly the options are getting more embedded AND have more appeal.

its a nightclub hope you are not too fragile today.

Angry and MrF bloody well done! day 40 and day 42. Awesome!!!

Which reminds me, we went tot the cinema yesterday to watch the new Lego movie "everything is awesome" is now firmly stuck in my head. Great film though if you have children into Lego.

Sorry to have missed anyone, hope you are all safe and calm and being good to yourselves. Xx

Hello everyone, I've been lurking when I can over the last three weeks, but life has just got on top of me, too much work, builders in, poorly rabbit, DH and DS I'll, then I go and get an inner ear infection . . . DH thinks I must be at deaths door because the GP actually gave me a week of antibiotics! But reading what some of the babes have been going through puts it all into perspective.

I'm on day six (again), but looking back at January, I managed more AF days than any time in the last ten years about 26 out of 31 days, and although WW has the occasional tantrum, it feels like it's getting easier.

Have a good Sunday everyone.

Cross posted with you Sweet, sorry to hear you have an ear infection amongst other things but good to see you You have made some huge changes this year with your drinking, well done, you are definitely winning xx

Broccoli and cheese soup is a regular here. Its delish.
I am giving up trying to fight the www, its pointless. She always wins and always will.
I'll be in the sidecar if anyone wants my words of wisdom on what its like to be a pisshead.

Hi can I join you all please?

I want to drink much less than I do. I find just having one or two impossible. And am now in the habit of drinking every night. I'm going to try stopping altogether for a bit.

This is my day one.

Hello all Brave Babes

I hope you're all having a good Sunday

Beaches babe, thank you for your daily mentions, they have made me smile and have given me much strength Glad to hear that the LEGO movie was good, it's on my list for half term, did you see it in 3D?
There's a few films I want to see, the Mandela one and 12 years of slavery. Not feeling brave enough at the moment, so they'll have to wait Have you still got the snow? It's still flippin raining and windy here

I'm babe. You've been on my mind and I've been lurking. Thank you for your mentions. I am so sorry that things aren't going well You are so much stronger than you think. Keep going babe, you will move and you will be free and safe to get on with your life

So on Friday it was a week since my friends little boy became a shining star and is watching from heaven (this is what we decided to tell all of our children) My DD2 has taken it really hard. She's been so brave. It was decided by our 3 families (as DS1 of my friends wanted to go to school) that they would all go on Monday. DD2 was given access to leave her class whenever she wanted to check on their DS1 (who is her friend) she did this approx twice a day all week.Bless her

The autopsy has come back and the little boy had a defect in his heart, they haven't confirmed what yet, but at least there is a reason. My friends through all of this are still managing to find their sense of humour. We have all been a tower of strength to each other and our children.

This weekend my world has evolved around loading up things to sell on Ebay, a mountainous task for which I hope to raise money to go towards our new home. I've found somewhere (v nice) but I need more money than I've got. (and I'm still waiting for them to accept my offer) Challenge Spanna - I work well to a deadline, especially if it's imminent

Soc so much of what you say about your none AF time, I can relate to. I'm 47 this year and I don't want to be a drunk Mum. Doing Dry Jan really helped me reflect on my habits and the way I use wine as a crutch I also have a problem about being 'Boring' and 'Bored' - those times when I would normally be drinking, getting louder and louder. I also can't just have one not even just 2. It's all or nothing

I have had a drink this week - not loads. I had a complete blitz last Saturday, whatever I could get down my throat, I did . Staggered home, lent into a mirror which fell and broke and then I passed out Felt like shite Sunday, served me right.

I'm going to post this now, as I have this habit of losing my messages.

Big hugs to all of you lovely Brave Babes Be strong, keep smiling and kick that WW in her saggy arse

Ma we know what is is like to be pissheads, most of us do it/have done it pretty well!! It isn't pointless, you have had so many triumphs, dry days, dry runs, days when you have stopped after a couple. The WW is a conniving, persuasive and relentless bitch who sometimes overcomes all your resolve but don't be under the impression that you can't fight her. You can, you have and you will xx. Today though, give yourself permission to relax in the sidecar.

Hi Polly and welcome to the bus. Today is a great day for day one

Spanna hey chick! good to see you. You friends and your girls are very lucky to have you, I am sure you are providing more strength to all of them than you realise. 'Challenge Spanna' do you have a handy helicopter and shiny track suit like Anneka used to have!! Hope you get lots of bids on you ebay clearout and manage to secure that flat. Xx (yes Lego was 3D)

Thank you beaches I feel such failure right now. I have been on this bus for bloody years and am still drinking, still in the endless loop of trying and failing and hating myself.
I'm sick of it but she has me by the tits.

I really do know the loop you area talking about and it can be suffocating. You are not a faliure Ma and every single time you try is a positive action. This is part of your path and you have helped a lot of babes on this bus over those years. Take care Xx

Yep, beaches, a nightclub!! Haven't been in one for quite a long while.

I felt (and probably looked) about 90 compared to everybody else in there :)

Welcome Polly to our bus :)

Maybe the fact that you have been here for years fighting shows that you have more determination and that you will NEVER give up easily

ma you are NOT a failure! You're a wonderful, kind, wise person who gives so much to other people... I am always in awe and admiration of you how you cope.

You did a couple of weeks in January didn't you, and I have no doubt you will manage that again when the time is right. One day, hen - one day.

Ma where has all that demented strength gone?, it's in there somewhere. You are a wise woman with a wicked sense of humour You can do it and you know you can. Take care Babe xxx

Welcome to the Bus Polly

Ah well, 3 pints later and I am just tired. I cannot go to bed as it's not even 7pm and I have to iron DS's uniform and make the lunch boxes. This task seems like climbing a mountain ATM- a timely reminder of what drinking does to me in particular
I'm not hugely concerned (I drunk roughly half of what the others did and haven't continued on arriving home) but I'm a bit pissed off I didn't remember how lazy drink made me. In future I will make sure I do all the "stuff" beforehand so I don't have the hassle when I get home

Thanks for the welcome. Have had a tonic with ice and lemon to get me over wine o clock and drinking while cooking. I find if I get to this stage of the evening without drinking I don't really want one.

Just as well, as DH has just gone out to get a bottle of wine.

Hi all!

Beaches, yesterday and today have been good days, me and dp took dd out for a long walk along the sea front and it was lovely, we stopped in a pub along the way and I just had a coffee :) small step, but for me a pub means a pint. Back home tonight, dd tucked up in bed and I've prepped for tomorrow and am having a slimline bitter lemon with ice, feels like a bit of a luxury!!

Polly well done for beating that WW (wine witch) kick her arse Have you got something sweet that you can eat to ease you away from the temptation of the wine?

Fated coffee in the pub - very good You go girl! Those fizzy elderflower drinks are yummy - Keep it up Babe

I'm how are you babe? sending you a little squeeze

Its dawned on me in the last couple of days that since I have given up the booze (and the fags and caffeine drinks) I have started eating loads more sugary treats, particularly chocalate. I'm worried that this is of course filling the hole that all the above has created and I don't want to get a sugar addiction.... Has anyone else found that since giving up that they have starting indulging in other things (whether chocalate or something else)?

You will need to replace the sugar you are used to getting from alcohol dancer so, yes, you will get sugar cravings. But you can wean yourself off that later. Right now, it's more important to avoid the booze.

Hot chocolate is a good sweet fix and less calories than eating a bar of chocolate.

ma This loop you talk of is the one iv been stuck in for years, I swear I spin faster around it each time I drink just so its harder to break free, when I do break free I love it and yet the loop pulls me back in somehow ...feels like without my concent.I don't post much about AF days etc because I don't have many so if you don't mind move up honey I'm curling up next to ya in this sidecar

Hello spanna my lovely thinking of you tonight x

Hi beaches you never did tell me how the weather is latley ?? Hope your doing ok x

mouse hi to you hope your ok too?

Waves at guggs joey sober soc baby x

Life is shit here, vivid dreams and flashbacks of him doing his shit need to get out my head night night babes

Hello babes. Sorry for long absence. Work is ridiculous, I go in on Monday morning and between long hours there, 4 nights out of 5 taking kids to activities, and then bringing work home (spend 4 hours today on a 50 page submission) I don't have time to post. I do catch up with you all on my phone, but it is ridiculously tricky to post more then a sentence from there, so here goes and sorry for the long, long post... will try to respond to you all, apologies if I miss anyone...

Why and I'm. I always look out to see how you are both doing, and am always awed by your strength in the face of slow social workers, ridiculous court shenanigans, pointless red tape and heartbreaking od circumstances. You are both amazing, and I am constantly sending you good vibes for positive outcomes. Your kids are lucky to have you amazing ladies.

Guggs any reponse to your resignation yet from evil boss? you are one brave lady, if wankbadger earned a penny I would want to resign from my job too, but it's a big step - then not to even have it acknowledged is infuriating. I will add your boss to my list of people I imagine punching in my body combat class, let me know how it goes

Dancer, MrF, Soc - well done on your brilliant dry runs all of you. Chocolate craving is normal when you stop drinking I believe (I have had a real sweet tooth lately), and better than boozing. But Soc, intrigued by your soup diet. Is that the 'Soup can make you thin' one? Bloody impressive weight loss though - I love soup, just not tinned ones and rarely have time to cook at night. (Excuses, excuses, I know ) And cheese is the food of the Gods, truly. My favourite is Blacksticks Blue, but I like any cheese really, even value cheddar at a pinch...

Joey, It's - good luck in your WW battles - is the wine still in the car Joey? Top tip!

Ma stop calling yourself a failure or you know what is coming (looks for Barrie). If Spanna has given you a whole bag of green opal fruits I think that says a lot about the high esteem you are held in by the babes on the bus, and I love your posts, your strength and humour. You help people just by being here. If you need to stay in the sidecar for now then do so without beating yourself up lady! You will get back on track again, all of us struggle, that is why we are on the bus. Now go and have a bubble bath and some hot chocolate to cheer yourself up. That is an order!

And talking of lovely Spanna, hello honey. Nice to see you back. Your dd sounds lovely taking care of her friend, and how lucky your friends are to have you. I hope things are getting a bit less stressful. I am unable to imagine what you are going through, but you sound like you are coping so well in the circumstances. Massive hugs xxxx