The Brave Babes Battle Bus - A New Year, A New YOU!

[Mouseface]

New Year Resolutions Anyone?

Welcome one and all, I'm Mouse, nice to meet YOU. :)

This is a thread for those who want to give up drink completely, or are maybe thinking about doing controlled drinking, or cutting down slowly, it's all up to you.

You know your limits, you know what is required, it's in YOUR hands.

Whatever your goal, you'll find unconditional support here. Always.

There will be talk of drinking quite often and those who fall off the Bus will post about it, so if that is going to jeopardise your chances of complete sobriety, then maybe the DRY threads would suit you better, as they are complete abstainers, but EVERYONE IS WELCOME HERE :)

There are no hard and fast rules, other than the support here is unconditional, it may be in the form of tough love at times, but it's always meant with the very best of intentions.

There are two sayings that we rather like here -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

For those of you who'd like some history, here is the very first thread and the reason that we're all here now. FIRST THREAD

And here is the lastest thread, which you can scroll back through to see the other JOURNEYS SO FAR

The Bus may be 'mythical', but the support is real, it is honest and it will help you to achieve what it is that you seek, as long as you are honest with us, but mostly, YOURSELF

See you soon. x

Hello Babes, hope everyone is enjoying a relaxing weekend.

I woke up this morning with a rotten cold, thank God I didn't drink last night, because I usually go to bed late if I've had a drink. Losing an hour's sleep would really not have helped right now.

D'argh...

Sorry you're feeling rubbish sweets :( t'is crap being ill.

I like you, would ALWAYS be the party animal when drinking and want to stay up thinking to myself, "I can cope with only 3 hours sleep"

I hope you feel better, come and snuggle up on the Bus, it's going to be cold out tonight x

Thanks mouse. It's good to have you back on board. How are you doing?

hope I could have written a lot of your post, I can really relate to your situation. Make plans, have a strategy,keep it all in your head and know that One Day you will be in a position to put it in place. One day.
Start doing little things which make you feel strong. Try and save a bit of money somewhere where dh can't get it, you might need it in a hurry. Commit those tiny actors of defiance that make you feel good. Won't pick his dirty socks up? Put them in the bin, way down at the bottom and deny all knowledge. Start winning back your life. Sometimes its one step forwards and two steps back but keep at it.start doing the things you want to do, tiny step by tiny step if needs be.

Thanks Beaches and Ma. It is lovely just to have some words of support. Well, I cooked a nice dinner for me and the dcs, dd made me a salad to take to work tomorrow (didn't want salad especially but how can you say no to such a sweet offer?), watched Legally Blonde and have just sent off my job application - eeek!

Twunt is home now but hasn't spoken to me. Came and hovered around the living room and dd asked if he wanted to watch Monsters and Aliens with us and he was like 'no, I am not welcome in here', going after their sympathy. I ignored it, and after a second so did the kids. I am sick of always apologising when I am not in the wrong. This is a new mindset for me and a bit scary (he has a nasty temper, whenever I try to vocalise anything that makes me unhappy he just shouts. I am not allowed to vocalise my needs or feelings).

Normally would be halfway down a bottle of red by now, but will finish Day 15 - halfway through Dry January for me. Am going to find some chocolate now though

BTW how long do you have to be on this bus before you can ask for a yellow opal fruit??

lookingforhope You win the weekend. Keep it going this week!!! Your prize? Yellow Opal Fruits.

Hands hope a special green opal fruit for not giving in to twuntish behaviour.
I find a very satisfying tactic to be that of agreeing when they are spoiling for a row.
Say " oh ok, I'm sure you're right" with a barely concealed smile. It drives them nuts bit as you are agreeing, there ain't much they can do about it.
Today ds decided he no longer wanted his glow in the dark planets any more. Dh is on night shift. I have hung them all in our bedroom from the ceiling. Took ages. They look great. Part of my new doing it for me strategy.
They glow eeri!y and sway in the draught.
At least the earth is moving in our bedroom again!!!!

Fuck, fucking ex partners. After 8 eight years, why is he such an arse hole that I have fallen off the bus and had three pastis?, - ok I know I did that, and tomorrow I WILL NOT DRINK, but I am sick and tired of him fucking with my beautiful, clever, lovely DS.

Oooh, yellow AND green opal fruits! Excited! (scuttles away to back of bus with prized sweeties)

Why I will not give in this week, I am on a roll...

Ma planets sound fab. I love sparkly, glow in the dark things. I am part magpie I think...

Off to brew up for everyone now before I get ready for bed. Teas on a tray on the dashboard . Help yourselves to s. Night Night lovely friends xxx

Sixteen day, my best since DS was born (he's not far off 12), and it's still his father who sets me off

hope like ma I could have written your post re the twunt. I have one of my own aka control freak amongst other things...
Really relate to not being allowed to vocalise my feelings or needs.
Sounds like you are taking control of your life back. Agree with ma's advice and as ma said One Day, One day ... . Well done on 15 days AF AWESOME Sweetie monitor give hope all the yellow opal fruiits you have she's a star

I'm on Day 12 alcohol free and Day 17 of not smoking. I've been feeling a lot less on edge and crazy the last couple of days so I'm hoping that that is my body and mind settling down a bit. I'm just clocking on really, hope you ladies are all well x

Sorry, I have a lovely life, a fab DH and DS, DSS and sd, a great job, just wish exp would fuck of the face of the earth ( sorry for the language), he was emotionally abusive when we were together, and I was scared of him, and now he keeps pulling the same crap on DS. This weekend, it was that on top of the CSA report for the year - he’s obviously lying to them (self employed), £6 p/w doesn't even cover lunches - I can afford for him to do nothing but I am sick of him taking credit

xposted with everyone. I type with the speed of a stunned slug!
sleep well hope
sweet don't beat yourself up. Sounds like the trigger was too big today.

Thanks rural big! big trigger! but I shouldn't have given in, but I know I'll feel like shit in the morning, so, back to day one and at least I'll know why

In no particular order -

Hope - I'm so sorry that you are living with this, day in and day out but as the wonderful Why has said, the weekend was YOURS :) Hold onto that, tight, keep it safe and build the little victories up..... one at a time, one word said, keep it, one look given, hold it.... One Day, you will be free of him. Bless you and your darling DD. x

Joey - not too clever just now, my pain is torture and yet I have to carry on with the day, it's worse because I was out yesterday. Going to bed soon to try and rest. Back to the docs Thursday. x

Ma - that sounds lovely, I love watching things twirl and sway in the air within a room :) PMSL at the action in the earth moving remark! x

Sweet - that is why he's your EX TWUNT! Seriously, it's hard when DCs are involved. DD's sperm donor talks to me now to see if he can see her as she ignores him. He tends to buy her affection, her love. Of course she loves him, she has nothing to prove. x

He just needs to understand that she is actually 15 next month, with a BF who she adores and friends she wants to be with. Plus, they live where we used to, not in the next village.

ImDoing - I hope that you are okay and safe tonight? I have been thinking of you hoping that you are? Please just pop on and say hello so that we know you are around.

I'm sorry if all of my question spooked you and you'd rather answer or chat via PM, I'll be around tomorrow so please do PM me.

I hope that you and the DC are safe tonight, more than anything, I hope you are ALL safe! x

Right, I am out of here, fully medded up and pray for sleep. Last night I dreamt that my mum was still alive. We were walking arm in arm through a garden, I'm not sure where, I could just feel her all around me and smell her hair again, as it smelt when I held her the night she died.....

I woke with tears rolling down my face, hoping to feel her arm on mine, smell the smell, see the garden.

I do miss her.

Night all, hold your loved ones for that little bit longer tonight. xxx

mouse
Just that
X

Mouse thank you! you're right! I've sent him an email that demonstrates how much I do for DS, and how much DH supports DS, but I know he's going to see it as inflammatory, so I have to prepare myself for the response.

I hope you're feeling better. DS is getting all nostalgic for 'children's' film, and rewatching them (personally think 11 is too young for nostalgia), watched all of the Toy Story films over Xmas, they are made with adult audiences now . . . Apparently I have to watch tangled next week!

Ooh mouse, so sad about your mum! but, you obviously had such a lovely relationship xxxx and now you are mum to such a gorgeous family , sweet dreams

Sitting in bed with a lemsip (honey & ginger flavour - which is just WRONG - everybody knows they should be lemon flavour, hence the name)

Thank goodness for Dry January and sobriety.

Actually joey the ginger sounds really nice! Hope you feel better in the morning.

Sweet I thought you have fallen off the bus and had three pasties have now googled pastis and am acquainted with the liqueur!! Sorry your ex is such a twunt. Hopefully you don't feel too bad in the morning x

Dancer glad your emotions are levelling out a bit and congratulations on staying off the drink and the fags. Very impressive

Spanna I am really missing your posts, hope you are ok babe xx

Im thinking of you, please don't stay away xx

Mouse it is bitter sweet when you dream of a lost one, so real and then they are lost all over again hope you sleep well x

Rural You did make me laugh with your stunned slug

And to all the rest of you brave and wonderful ladies, goodnight, sleep tight. Xx

X thankyou we are safe tonight all tucked up.

Good Morning Lovely Brave Babes

Happy Monday to you all Day 19 today wooooo hoooooo I had a few wobbles this weekend but I whacked saggy titty bollocks with a large piece of driftwood (damaged WW not the wood )

Beaches lovely babe. I am fine, busy weekend DD2 had friend to sleepover. I went back to see the flat on Saturday with my builder and best friend. There is a snag list as long as my arm, communal lights not working, front doors hard to shut, unfinished bits and bobs in the flat etc etc BUT I've been there 4 times now and I love it even more and even better my builder said it's all 'sound as a pound'. so providing all snags are done, we'll be sorted Did you find any goodies in second hand shop? I love ploughing through shops like that and car boot sales, there's nothing like a bargain

Baby how are you darliing? I'm sorry I've not been about. How did you Wkend go? Is DH still away? Please be strong, keep it together, you are doing so well men can't help being twunts Check in please, let us know that you're ok

Hope darling one day at a time. You are aware that your situation can't go on as it is. You are already putting your escape in place. I really don't like the sound of his temper Can't you just ask him to leave? does he have family nearby? It will take so much pressure off you when he's gone. You will feel free and in control of your own destiny You are a strong woman, good luck with that application. Keep going girl you can do it

I'm sending you loads of hugs, glad you're all ok xxx

Back later, must get dressed and get my 'school run skates on'

WAVES at all Brave Babes xxxxxxxx

Morning everyone, I feel shocking this morning, haven't had a recognisable hangover in years and I don't want another, today I will not drink, what ever the provocation.

'Pasties' Beaches I wish it had been!

Morning Babes looks like we've broken the back of Dry January, not long now.

Feeling pathetic and sorry for myself this morning and I suspect my DD has forgotten her house key so that's gonna turn into a drama later.

babyj how are you doing?

beaches how is the diet going? I've increased my allowance to 1300, as it was too disheartening to always be 'in the red' which would end with me giving up. But I didn't want to be on 1500+ and not have to try at all! Will stick with this a couple of weeks, and then as I get the hang of it, hopefully go back down.