The Brave Babes Battle Bus - A New Year, A New YOU!

[Mouseface]

New Year Resolutions Anyone?

Welcome one and all, I'm Mouse, nice to meet YOU. :)

This is a thread for those who want to give up drink completely, or are maybe thinking about doing controlled drinking, or cutting down slowly, it's all up to you.

You know your limits, you know what is required, it's in YOUR hands.

Whatever your goal, you'll find unconditional support here. Always.

There will be talk of drinking quite often and those who fall off the Bus will post about it, so if that is going to jeopardise your chances of complete sobriety, then maybe the DRY threads would suit you better, as they are complete abstainers, but EVERYONE IS WELCOME HERE :)

There are no hard and fast rules, other than the support here is unconditional, it may be in the form of tough love at times, but it's always meant with the very best of intentions.

There are two sayings that we rather like here -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

For those of you who'd like some history, here is the very first thread and the reason that we're all here now. FIRST THREAD

And here is the lastest thread, which you can scroll back through to see the other JOURNEYS SO FAR

The Bus may be 'mythical', but the support is real, it is honest and it will help you to achieve what it is that you seek, as long as you are honest with us, but mostly, YOURSELF

See you soon. x

Morning all, just clocking in to catch up :)

spanna - well done on day 19, you deserve cake.

Dancer- wow, day 13 AF and day 18 of non smoking (today). That's a massive double whammy of determination and willpower, good for you. You deserve double cake.

aliasjoey - Day 20 is truly fantastic:) hope your cold gets better soon. Lemsip here too :(

Im - glad you had a safe night last night, that's good to hear, hope you and dc's slept well. Totally agree with why's post to you, you are the victim he is the abuser, and yes, you WILL thrive without him, without a doubt xx

Mouse- Sorry to hear you have been in pain and hope the meds are helping. Big hugs wrt your Mum. Nemo sounds adorable, and hope he feels better soon too xx

Hope - well done on day 16 today, hope your online job application is successful xx

beaches - well done also for 19 days today, that's just fab.

Cake for all, methinks. Sorry if I've missed anybody out, I'm full of a cold, my eyes are stinging and they want to close. Waves to all babes

Day 1 again for me today after my birthday weekend (weekend being the operative word). Day 1 was meant to be yesterday, but hey-ho. Looking forward to clear head again and sleep. Speak soon xxxx

Wow Dancer AF and quitting smoking at the same time, that's hard-core.

Well my attempt at moderating drinking over the weekend did not go according to plan at all - but over the whole week my drinking was reduced by more than 50% thanks to the four AF days. So not to bad a start, back to AF for the next four days. This week I'm going to be reading Stanton Peel's 7 Tools to beat addiction and 'How to stop worrying and start living' Hope everyone has a good week.

Hey isinde are you allright?

I think I've got a temperature. Feel kind of woozy and not all there.

Quick check in.
Thanks for the mention beaches and bl88dy well done Awesome
Nice to see you back spanna and well done to you too
Mousy so sorry re your pain levels, really hope things improve soon. Aww the dream I had those, still do occasionally 27 years on, big foxy hugs coming your way xx
Love to everyone else sorry not to nc but luffs you all.
Busy day with pregnant sheep today

Day 8

Morning everyone, actually day 20 for me today but itsthe was very impressed by you keeping track of all our days. Sorry to hear you have a horrible cold but it may help with that difficult day 1.

Spanna!! glad the flat got the builders seal of approval! hopefully the snags can be sorted out painlessly and you can start planning where all the furniture will go. We did find a few treasures, mostly clothes but dh found an oil filter for the car and the boys found a nerf football. Happiness all round!

Im glad to hear you all had a safe night honey, you could do with a few more of those xx

joey that is a good idea. I have started to become a little disheartened too and I had a really bad weekend. I bought some favourite chocolate biscuits thinking I could allow an occasional treat. I overestimated my willpower yesterday I ate five = 375 cals. It would be ok if it were the only treat... Anyway I may up my limit a bit and try a little harder today. I do like seeing the nutritional breakdown for the week and generally that is looking pretty balanced. Do you feel any lighter? (I know you don't weigh) kitkats are often just mirages

onboard overall there is an improvement, well done! Sometimes when plans go awry we learn more about ourselves. The book sounds interesting

Rural day 8! Fantastic - but not as exciting as a pregnant sheep

Isinde xxx

Sweet I am pretty sure 3 pasties would not have felt good

Love to everyone xxx

Hi sorry I disappeared for a while but I have been drinking albeit in a much more controlled manner and didnt want to post.
Today however I am going AF and plan to do so until at least Friday and possibly longer.
Really impressed with how well everyone is doing and it is giving me inspiration.
Have been busy trying to sort out other areas of my life and in particular getting rid of a toxic frenemy. Its funny how I couldnt see just how toxic it was until the fog of booze had lifted........wish I had done this much sooner
Anyway positive vibes to everyone today

Hi babes, I'm sorry I've not been around much, dh has moved out. We had a huge fight on Friday and we both said some terrible things but we both realise it's not good for the kids, the constant bickering do he has left. I'm very tearful but feel I need to put a brave face on for dd's. Feel like I'm in a bad dream but this is real and I need to be strong...

Oops my apologies beaches, day 20 for you, that one day makes all the difference when count

Can't get my day 1 wrong, can I

inside thanks babe, I have lots of RL support, most people saw this coming. It's very sad as we have a 3year old together and he is stepdad to my 14 year old, trouble is he still thinks he can do all the things a single man can (weekends away, pub, poker nights, smoking spliffs) but spends little time doing the dad stuff, he had little quality time with his own dad so it's history repeating itself. I just couldn't take anymore xxx

babyj I'm really sorry to hear that, you have had such a tough time of it lately. How do you feel now - devastated? Relieved? Angry? Anxious?

Have you made that appointment with the counsellor yet? (sorry to keep bugging you, but don't you dare think that you now just don't have time/energy - with all these recent developments you need something for yourself more than ever.)

Oh baby, I am really sorry that you are going through this. What a crappy time, what is it with some of these useless bloody men - don't know a good thing when they have got it? Glad you have some good RL support and you have us too

isinde sorry that things seem to be piling up around you too. January can be a dismal month, cold, damp and finances stretched. Hope your clients buck up and appreciate you a bit more soon. Xx

Soc I realise you will be fast asleep but just wondered how you are babe. X

Waves to sober and itsthe

feeling more and more rubbish as the day has gone on. Not sure if it is toxins or a bug
Anyhow I think it means that day 1 is nearly over for me as I head to bed.
baby and isinde hope a bit of light starts to shine through for you both.
Night to everyone else and see you all on day 2

Baby you are stronger than you may realise. Your DDs need you more than ever right now. Some time apart from DH is a blessing in that you will both have some space from each other. Not in the 'he's away working' but in the 'right ok, do I want to do this on my own' kind of way. Don't worry about the housework etc. Cook some yummy food. do what you and your girls enjoy doing. Take one day, one hour at a time. You will have space to reflect, think about stuff. The answers will come, ask the universe for them. Take care of yourself, sending you big

The idea of Never Drinking Again is scary. The idea of not drinking tomorrow is fine.
That's why it has to be One Day At A Time.
I have to be mindful. I have to remember why I can't let my guard down.
To be the best me that I can be takes conscious effort. And Gerald!

Thanks for the ride

Hello brave babes
Met the new SW tonight she says I will start to get more support soon shes going to speak to housing

Stay strong lovely's xxx

Im hope the new SW is true to her word and gets you and DC'S the support you need. Everything crossed for you. Take care xx
Isinde just like riding a bike you never forget. If it all gets too much with the demanding clients could always use another pair of hands with the lambing. Small hands I hope - the best shepherdesses have small hands-- easier to get them where they have to go when the Ewe needs help to Lamb
babyj so sorry about your news. Glad you have lots of RL support. As others have said you now have the headspace to decide what is best for your future. xx
onboard well done on the reduction. When I try to moderate my drinking tend to fail big time. My good intentions seem to go out the window as soon as I take that first drink.

Evening, tis me, Mouse

I'm - that's the best news so far, thank you for posting..... we've ALL been worried about you x

sweet - the thing is, I had a 'challenging' relationship with my mum, from my early 20s. Maybe it's guilt but the dreams I have are fro when I was younger, smaller and needed her. I didn't need her quite the same anymore........

Off to put the boy to bed, back in a mo to explain..... sorry x

beaches and spanna keep at it.bloody well done! And a big well done to rural on a whopping 8 days,
I am back on track. Low carbed all day, had 3 litres of water, been out for a jog and am AF.
baby hope things work out
indie you sound swamped. Don't leap head first into the nearest bottle will you?

Go ma. Awesome.

Thanks mouse and rural quick check in x

Hey Ma well done, you get today's superfit badge!

I'm great news! Glad things are beginning to turn a corner for you at last. You are being so strong and fab - imagine how life will be in a new place!

Mouse hope your pain is better today honey. And hope Nemo enjoyed his film marathon!

Baby so sorry you are having a hard time. I can totally relate at the moment though twunt is still here. Does your dh want a flatmate? (not that he'd pay him any rent). Joking aside though, I hope you look after yourself. Experience what you really feel being in your own home without him there - if you feel better, despite the difficulties, you have done the right thing. If you miss him, perhaps counselling, laying ground rules? I don't know your full situation but I know about difficult relationships and am here for you.

Twunt is trying to be nice to me tonight, but am just being polite. DS told me in the car on the way back from one of his activities that he wouldn't mind now if we split up (he always used to say he needed us to stay together till he finished school and left home). I asked what had changed and he said seeing me crying on Christmas Eve when I'd tried so hard to make the holiday nice for everyone, and then seeing it again yesterday. He's told his dad he doesn't want to talk to him because he hates seeing me so sad. I haven't asked him to do this, in fact I asked him not to because I don't want him to make it worse or to make himself unhappy, and it is his dad and he does love the dcs very much, of course he does. But ds is very black and white with his morals. I am proud he is a lovely lad, and gratified he wants to protect me, but at the same time I feel so guilty, he is a child, not even 14 yet.

I don't know what to do next - was planning on just coasting for a bit while I do a bit of research and gather strength and wait for dd to go to high school and sort out my job situation but not sure I can if the kids are so unsettled. I don't mean to cry in front of them, I really don't, and I try to be cheerful but it's not easy...

still, I've not had a drink today - day 16 done, wooh! I will stop rambling on now....

Nite all x

IsinDe - sweetheart, please let this time be the time that you break the cycle. You are worth SO MUCH MORE! I've met you, I KNOW! :)

You can get through all of this without the WINE BITCH pulling you under, you really, really can! We're all here for you to rant, shout, cry, yell, flip from emotion to emotion to, we can be whatever you need us to be, just don't let her win. YOU CAN DO IT! xxx

Sweet - when I was young, 2 yrs old, my sperm donor left my mother with her newborn DD, my sis, for a girl of 15 yrs old. He was 21.

She had nothing. His family called him scum and disowned him, for a while - lots more family politics later/court etc and he was ordered to pay 5p for each of us per week. That was back in 1977/8/9.

My mum gave up everything she had to clothe and feed us. She worked all hours, every day and tried as hard as she could to keep us safe, warm and fed. She went without food so wouldn't have to, that's the mum I miss........

As her various illnesses awoke in her, she changed, maybe I will or have already and that thought tears me apart.

We look so alike at our same ages, slim, dark, short hair and happy......

Yet we'd drifted apart a little because I guess I didn't need her quite as much anymore once I met DH, and I'd started to heal.... and that saddens me.

I think it saddened her too, that I was able to survive without needing her as much, but that wasn't the case, the balance was just moved is all......

I will never forget what she sacrificed for us, and will never, ever, not do the same for my own DCs. :)

The early years are the ones that I dream of, and see her in... how she looked, beautiful, strong and fresh. My wonderful mum. xxx

And on that note, I'm going to bed.

Early start tomorrow because DH is leaving at 6.30am, and will be home late, he's done the DC's school dinners, emptied the bins, sorted the dishwasher salt, everything, just so that I don't have so much to do.

What would I do without him? :)