I am a mum of 3 grown up sons and have just had a terrible shock, my middle son has just broken up with his girlfriend of 4 years and i love both my son and his GF like she is a daughter. I feel a terrible loss.
This has all come out of the blue he told me 2 weeks ago on the phone but I didn't speak to him again until this week when he came to visit, they live in another city. He told me that he is happier than he has been for the last 6 months but he doesn't look it, he looks exhausted and sad.
They had had a bit of a row and she told him to get out so he did, nowhere to go or anything and she fully expected him to go home later but when he didn't contact her she became very worried and tried to get hold of him but he wasn't answering he phone to anybody.
After speaking with my son it seems that he felt she was telling him what to wear etc, he couldn't go out after work, as she needed him to go and take the dog out. They both work in hospitality and work long shifts frequently at different times of the day. He said it got to the point where he didn't recognise himself anymore and felt trapped. They were planning to buy a house together
It transpires however that there is another young woman, a work colleague of his involved, 10 years younger than his GF and he says he can talk to her and has more in common with her. I and my husband think this is a case of 'the grass being greener' maybe he confided in her when he was feeling a bit down and she responded and flattered him and maybe he began to feel more dissatisfied becuase of this attention. immature I know but we all know it happens.
I sent his GF a birthday card and gift I had already bought her and a letter saying how sorry I was this had happened, nothing about this other girl though. She phoned me back yesterday in floods of tears, she is heartbroken, can't eat, sleep or function properly. She is in complete shock and doesn't know why he has left, her life has completely changed in a heartbeat. He won't speak to her he has just sent one text saying that he feels happier now and that he felt he wasn't himself anymore. She is in absolute bits after 4 years she deserves more than a text message.
He isn't heartless, he is a very kind and caring young man and this is so
out of character. He waited a full 12 months before she would go out with him and then I have never seen him happier I would have sworn they were made for each other, even a couple of weeks ago everything seemed fine they seemed like a loving couple.
I don't know what to do, I think I may have made a mistake writing to her but at the same time I wanted her to know how special she is to us, to the whole family. She doesn't have family in this country but does
have a good friend who rents a room in their house.
do I risk loosing my son by advising him that he should see her and at least talk to her even if there is no hope of reconcilliation or do I just keep well out of it and keep my grieve to myself do I contact his Gf again. I am 64 and thought I would know what to do but am at a complete loss.